My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss – A Preview

I was so stoked when out esteemed Editor-in-Chief asked me if I wanted to cover My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss. I adored My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé, and if you mesh that with another favorite, The Apprentice, how could the result be anything but delicious?

There are no bios on the contestantsyet , but if you want background on the "boss," I encourage you to go to http://fox.com/bigfat/, where you'll learn that the boss is actually an accomplished improv comedian and actor who has worked with the likes of Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy. I am ashamed to admit I didn't recognize him from the clips on the website, but I did note that he looked like the love child of Dubya and Todd Glass...

I recommend you check out the clips playing on the Fox website. They're a hoot. In case you can't, here's a recap:

Clip One starts in what looks like Grand Central Station or the lobby of a ritzy building. A surly security guard brings in a load o' cash and drops it at the feet of 12 eager young, urban professionals. They stare, transfixed, at the heap o' dough before turning their eyes toward the heavens, where the Big Fat Obnoxious Boss (BFOB) appears on a landing. "Welcome to my world."

One eager youngun's first thought is, "this is part of his world. This is where I need to be." BFOB comes down to earth/lobby and paces in front of the apprentices--er, job applicants. "Hey, whatever your past, it got you here." I would caution BFOB that he's overdoing the hand gestures, but what do I know – I never worked with William H. Macy. He tells the group to "go mint a coin" because, as he likes to say, "the future is in the past." He's channeling Mark "master of the cliché" Cuban now. One young blonde thing (there are at least three, by my count) can't take her eyes off the money at her feet.

The next shot is of BFOB at a little podium. He is telling them a bit about his company, IOCORP. First of all, who has heard of IOCORP? Two young men in power ties look panicked. Another, who looks like Clay Aiken (a little), admits to us that he's never heard of IOCORP and has never heard of the BFOB, which he finds "kind of surprising because I try to keep myself up on, like, Fortune 500 lists." Dude, I am gonna laugh so hard when you, like, find out it's, like, a joke.

BFOB, now in what I assume is either his boardroom or his office, tells us that "IO" is Latin for, "in jest," and "CORP" is obviously for "corporation." Get it? A joke corporation? Latin jokes are my favorite.

The scene goes back to the podium setup from before, and BFOB can't seem to remember his or his company's backstory without notes. That's not how The Donald would do it. "IOCORP is a venture capital firm. I have more than quadrupled the investment in ICORP." We see a glimpse of the BFOB's fake resume: Invested in first company in 1990; funded over 200 companies." He tells them he now has $3.5 billion under management.

Blondie #1 was "amazed" when she heard the number. Blondie #2 thought his "presentation skills were fantastic." Goatee guy notes that "just the fact that he has all those companies impressed the heck out of me." Blondie #3 "absolutely" wants to be a member of a billion-dollar corporation and "absolutely" wants to work for Mr. Todd (BFOB).

BFOB is pacing again. "If there's anything I hate, it's investing my time and money in a loser. Are there any losers here tonight?" There's silence for a moment. "Wrong. Eleven of you are losers. You just don't know which one yet." I love the way he says looooosers.

Blondie #2 explains her game plan: "If the object of the game is to play the best, win the game, win the money, and get a seat on the board of IOCORP, I'm gonna do everything I can to win." Got it! This is going to be too much fun.

BFOB pops champagne and in big words, the audience is told, THE CON IS ON! We get one last voiceover during the promo for the show (MBFOB, premieres Sunday, November 7th, 9/8c, on Fox): "In the back of my mind, I know that tomorrow every single one of these people, as nice as they are, as successful as they are, they are my enemies." Go get 'em.

Promo Clip #2 starts in what appears to be a park or field. The group is dressed in suits; BFOB has on slacks and a short-sleeved dress shirt. He explains the task: "Behind me is an office obstacle course. It's gonna be the team's job to usher the boss through this course, all the while being shot at with a rapid-fire paintball gun. Now, you may be wondering, 'who's gonna be firing the paint bullets? Guess!'"

BFOB dons a flak jacket and takes aim. the group has on masks and hats and uses briefcases and their bodies as shields while BFOB lobs green paintballs at them. They cover the boss on a run to a fax machine; they cover him getting out of or into a limo. One desperate-sounding appren— er, job applicant explains that "we knew if we didn't catch these bullets, we were going to go home." BFOB welcomes them "to the war zone." Nice touch.

Next scene shows BFOB in his office or boardroom. "When you do something bad, or you lose, there's a consequence, a punishment." The losers’ punishment here appears to be sleeping in a junkyard. Goatee guy is not happy with it at all. "It's a place where, like, bums live." Yeah, but you get to roast weenies and all that good stuff.

The next scene appears to be in a warehouse. Three corporate types are showing what I assume are IOCORP "products." "Renu – reusable toilet paper." "Ecopons" (not explained). And "O2," which is just oxygen in a can. How can these people not know this is a scam? I can't even balance my checkbook and I'd know something was up. They must not suspect anything, 'cause we next see them in a tent outside a flea market trying to sell the "products."

BFOB next explains that, "to have legitimacy as a billionaire, these people have to see things that almost no one else could have." This is by far my favorite part of the preview. He shows them a long sword encased in glass and set on velvet. "This, my friends, is Excalibur."

Now we get to see some of BFOB's boardroom skills. "I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but you're short." "I think I could kill you." "I'm a killer whale." BFOB's colleague throws something at a contestant and BFOB shoots off a cap gun as they talk. Someone (BFOB?) is dressed as "Fergie the Frog." Wha?? and BFOB tells someone to "get the hell out of my office." Good times.

I can't wait until November 7th, 9/8c! I encourage you to go to the Fox website and watch the preview clips for yourself. They're a hoot. See you soon!

Mel can be reached at melzreality@yahoo.com.

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