The Rebel Billionaire, Episode 5: The Naked Truth

On last week's show, our band of billionaire wannabes went to Ulusaba, Branson’s game preserve in South Africa, and after a visit with Nelson Mandala, did a little extreme camping. One was eliminated (though not eaten) and ten remain. You can read about it here.

The episode begins with the contestants returning to London. Discussion centers on the crush that Steven and Jessica seem to be developing. However, the truth comes out when, in an aside, Jessica says, “Steven and I have a case of forbidden love. He loves me – and I forbid it.” Ha! It looks like a one-way romance.

Branson splits them up in the same way they did in episode two – by gender, with the leaders leading the opposite team. The leaders are – Jessica and Steve! That couldn’t possibly have worked out better, especially if you’re an editor on this series.

Jessica is ready to lead. She’s been running a sales company for the last couple of years. Her philosophy is, “They have to respect you, they have to admire you, and they have to fear you.” Well, in the real world I don’t think fear works as a motivator for an extended period of time, but what do I know?

Heather shows her grasp of the situation by saying, “I’m pretty confident that whoever our leader is, we can steer though any craziness that Steve brings.” Umm, your leader IS Steve, did you not get that part? Blonde moment!

Steve thinks his team likes and respects him, but this is not so. I think Steve is used to wowing the hens back at his tennis club, but his manner doesn’t fly in this group of Type-A personalities.

The groups go out to dinner together, and Michael is having a good time flirting with Jessica. Sulking Steve is getting more and more jealous with ever passing moment. When she goes to the W.C., he follows her in and things start to get tense. Soon, Steve cannot even make a proper sentence, but the one he does get out is, “I can make you look really bad!” As she relays the story to the others in the ride home, it’s pretty obvious they’re playing Steve to get him off his game. <,p>

They confront each other again back at the house. Steve denies saying that last line to her. Did he forget about the cameras? Ahh, the selective memory of the reality show contestant! <,p>

Enough hearts and flowers. Branson gives some background for the task ahead. Its basis is his original company, Virgin Records, and his current music company, V-2, and is centered on a rock event called “The V-Festival.”

The two teams must go to a local club, watch four unsigned bands, and select the one they like best. Then, they are to present the band to a selection committee, and the winning band will be the opening act of the V-Festival. The team that didn’t select them must face the elimination challenge. Got all that? OK!

At this point Richard does a voice-over preview that the elimination will be that you can “sing… or streak.” Considering he’s voicing over the back of a contestant I recognize (but I’ll identify later), much of the suspense of this week is shot for me.

Heather thinks that even with Steve as leader, they can win. On the other team, Shaun is sure this task is right up his alley. Well, his job is the retail sales of beanbag chairs, but whatever.

The first act is Rachel Mari Kimber. She’s not bad, kind of Indie-rock, but Jessica doesn’t like her presentation. The second group is Exit Ten, a metal band. They aren’t bad. Third, we have The Naked Apes, and Steve feels, “I do think they have a great career ahead of them… in commercial jingles.” I think that’s bad, right?

As the fourth act gets ready, Steve musters his troops. They are not obliged to wait until all acts have performed. They can approach a group and sign them right away. Steve’s plan is, if he doesn’t like the way the last group starts out, he wants to get backstage and sign Exit Ten right away. The final act is Red. Red has an interesting look – “three pretty black women in lingerie and a two-foot Afro,” and they play rock with a soul edge.

Steve says, “It took me all of about six seconds to realize they had no musical talent,” and they lock up their choice of bands, Exit Ten. After much discussion, Shawn decides that Red should be their pick. “Let’s go do this! I’m totally believing!” Shawn says enthusiastically. Red is incredulous at being chosen. We’ll see who has better musical tastes, Shawn or Steve.

It’s presentation day. The judges are Branson, a V-2 exec, a V-Festival manager, and a former performer. They are legitimately qualified to make this decision. Needless to say, both teams are confident of victory.

Gabriel and Jessica whip up their introduction, but Steve goes the extra mile. I guess he found out the band The All-American Rejects were on tour in London, and arranged to play a tape of Exit Ten for their manager. Their opinions are sought, and among other things, they decide which song is best for audition.

Meanwhile, Shawn is coaching Red. He shows them windmill arm motions and other acts that are so not them. This is a real fine time to change the band’s presentation!

Both teams express confident views of their chances of success. Well, no surprise there. Jessica and the men go first. Jessica introduces Red’s concept, and Gabriel introduces the band members. He’s rather over the top, but what in today’s musical world isn’t?

The band comes on, and Erica of the other team is concerned that they look pretty good. However, Jessica thinks they aren’t as good as they were the night before, and the judges aren’t very impressed with Red’s musical abilities. Shawn hangs his head and wipes his eyes, he knows they’re in big trouble.