Temptation Island 3, Episode 3: The Cure For Insomnia!

Speaking of last week, single Jeff did a few magazine interviews where he discussed his mini-feud with Jason. In an interview with TV Guide, he said, "When we were walking by, Jason was pretty much growling at everyone. My first impression was that he was a tool, so I had to mess with him." In any case, Jeff's only regret is that he looked like an ass. Well, on that we can agree.

I also feel I should apologize to last week's episode for calling it boring. Compared to this week, last week was a whitewater thrill a minute. But we grit our teeth and do as we must. I hope you people appreciate this; I really do.

We pick up where we left off with Anthony still mad about his girlfriend getting up on some guy's shoulders. What a bitch! He says it's on like neckbone; it's all about him having fun. Jason is still pissed, in case you were wondering.

The men go on second dates; this time they get to pick whoever they want. Whee! In each instance below, make sure to add "and we had great chemistry and I can see myself spending time with him/her."

Michael chooses Sandra because she's wild. They go boating and he makes Beavis and Butthead-level jokes about her eating a sandwich. Actually, comparing him to B&B is an insult to them.

Anthony and Ida take a few rides on a zipline. The most entertaining was shown in the previews, where Ida does a Superman pose with her legs locked around his waist. From there, they have a romantic lunch on the beach. Apparently, you can see the ocean from the beach. This is weird, wild stuff.

Eric takes a boat ride with Amy. Eric and Kristin are lighting it up, aren't they?

Jason rides a jet-ski with Erryn. She's a screamer. And Jason is a bad boy with a gentle heart. Jason also points out that it wouldn't be fair of him to assume something where he didn't know the whole story. The hell you say! Didn't stop you, though, did it?

That night, someone decides to put on a sexy lingerie fashion show. None of the outfits are especially scandalous or revealing, but one of the chicks takes off her top to reveal green paint on her breasts. No, I'm not kidding - that was the most interesting part. Really.

After all that excitement, the gang plays around in the pool. Jason, ever mature, makes a point to start a chicken fight. Then Sandra gets upset because she sees Michael talking to Tiffany! Oh NO! Insert dramatic swell of music here. Please - before I fall asleep.

Over at the women's resort, Jeff and Jerome are fighting, apparently because Jerome said something about Jeff behind his back. I don't know why this worth yelling about, and I don't care, really. As Jeff jumps into the pool in only his skivvies on a dare, Kara postulates that that the fight may have something to do with the women. Can't get anything past her. Melissa and Stephanie say that they need to just vote off the guys who are arguing.

The next morning, the guys are staying in line because they are afraid that they're going to be voted off. Kristin says all the girls agree that the ones causing the drama need to go.

That sounds like a lead-in to another vote-off. This time, they get to each choose ONE guy to save to guarantee that they would stay. Kristin chooses RJ, Kara picks Jeff (see how well the girls agree?), Stephanie takes Julio, and Melissa picks Jerome. Kristin's head whips around in shock. She says later that it upset her that Melissa felt that Jerome deserved a second chance.

I promise - I'm trying to make this interesting. Really, I am. It's not easy to type while you're near comatose from boredom.

With their choices saved, the girls have to select two out of the remaining seven to vote off. They put their heads together with the sound of overripe fruit colliding and choose Jon and Ryan. We don't care because we haven't met them yet.

Ryan says he was voted off because he didn't start trouble. Um, OK. Sure. Whatever you say. I'll just baaack away slowly. Meanwhile, Jon dryly remarks that his testosterone levels weren't high enough to impress the girls. Mark thanks the women for their hard work (how DOES he keep a straight face? I really want to know!) and shoos them away.

Back at the resort, the single guys keep trying to convince Melissa that Jerome isn't "real." Good way to drive her into his arms, guys. Hey, maybe that's the idea, but I wouldn't give them that much credit.

Meanwhile, at the men's resort, Eric actually gets a bit of screen time. He talks to Michael about Sandra CRYING the night before because he was talking to Tiffany. Michael is just wanting to have a good time and doesn't want anyone to fall in love with him.