Temptation Island 3, Episode 4: Ship of Fools, Island of Idiots

First, big thanks to the folks at the Dave Glover Show on 97.1 FM-talk here in St. Louis for a great appearance. I think I did a pretty decent job of representing this fine website talking about just about the entire spectrum of reality shows for almost twenty minutes. So thanks again to Dave, Tom Terbrock, Pigpen, and all the others at Emmis for a great time, and I hope to do it again soon. I'm also working on getting a copy of the appearance for the site; I'll be sure to let everyone know if that happens.

Temptation Island 3, in a surprise to me, actually improved in the ratings. I wasn't able to get the exact numbers, but the show finished fourth for the evening, behind Extreme Makeover (oy… like that's any better) at 5.3 and a combination of WWE Smackdown and the premiere of The Mullets at 3.8. Let's see how the show does against the end of the Survivor premiere.

I don't know who to be irritated at: Survivor for making their episode 90 minutes and making me miss the end, Temptation Island 3 for existing in the first place, or myself for being stupid enough to agree to watch this show. Actually, I know the answer to that.

Lastly, to anyone who is affected by Hurricane Isabel, here's hoping that you and yours come out of this OK. You're in all of our thoughts.

On a similar note, who is the monkey-brained moron who decided that weatherpeople need to be outside during a hurricane? Do they think we won't believe them that there's a storm going on? "Nope, Martha, I ain't gonna ee-vac-yew-ate until I SEE someone out there trying to give a weather report!" One of these days, someone is going to get a stake driven through their head on live television because of these nitwits. Seriously - is there a rational explanation for this? I'd really like to know.

Onto something a lot less interesting: Temptation Island 3.

The women begin the day with yoga. Kara wonders if maybe Jason was jealous that she and Jeff were getting close. Wow - and it only took her two days to figure it out. She was upset to see him connecting with girls on a physical level. She'd rather he connect with them on an intellectual level like she does with Jeff. So, OK, guys, next time you're on a business trip, get a massage and tell your woman it was an intellectual debate. See how far that gets you.

Melissa discusses the shocking footage of Michael touching a woman's side. So that answers the question if they saw the same videos as us - she did. Kristin says that if she saw Eric doing the things that Michael was doing, she'd be devastated. She also tells us that Melissa took her necklace off. No, actually, she twirled it around to make sure everyone was paying attention, then let it drop on the bar.

At this point I wondered if Melissa was perhaps a bit of a drama queen. Oh, if I had only known.

Meanwhile, Michael is confident that Melissa won't be upset at anything she sees because she knows it's all innocent. Sucker. Michael says he didn't expect the drama. My first thought is, "Are you an idiot?", but then I realize he's talking about Sandra obsessing over him. Dude, you had your chance to let her go and you didn't take it. Everything from here on in is your own fault.

Michael talks to Jason poolside, saying that it's going to be an all-out war and maybe they'll see some catfights. Jason's response is, "It's gonna be fun." Heh.

For the women's second dates they get to choose, just like the men's second dates. Kristin asks Derrick for a date, which surprises people because he's "Stephanie's." Kristin says she thought he might like to hang out with somebody new, or at least someone not named Stephanie.

Stephanie isn't going to stand for it and picks Jeff. Good way to get back at Kristin. Melissa takes Sterling instead of Jerome. She changed her mind, apparently. Kara whines her way over to Giules and whiningly asks him out. She whines that she doesn't want to upset Jason any more, so she picked someone specifically so she wouldn't have a romantic date. Nice.

Single Ryan, in confessional, seems to think that this is the moment that starts to tear the women apart!

Kara and Giules don't do much of anything on their date. She looks to still be stuck on Jeff.

Speaking of Jeff, he and Stephanie go kayaking and talk during lunch. They seem to be getting along really well and have a lot in common. In fact, Jeff says he wants to spend more time with Stephanie. Hmm.

Kristin and Derrick horseback ride to a picnic. Kristin talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And then she talks some more. The only way Derrick manages to get any words in is in voiceover, and even then he has a rough time. Derrick sees a very slim possibility of a second date.

Melissa and Sterling ride a banana boat. Lord help me, I'm trying to come up with a good "banana boat" joke, but it just ain't happening. Please forgive me. [Of course. It's completely understandable. This show's numbed your brain. - Assistant Editor] Sterling is friends with Jerome and respects her efforts to defend him.