The Apprentice 2, MVP and LVP: Final Corner Office and Mailroom Assignments

Before I light into the producers and the contestants for the penultimate episode that saw my favorite, Kevin, unjustly get booted before Sandy, I want to thank everyone for the lively emails and great debates we've had. Interestingly, I was told I was "self-righteous" for disapproving of the Barbie twins' outfits on the candy sale. Apparently, since that's what women wear in Memphis, it seems to make it okay in New York. Who knew? I'm just a boring midwesterner...

Then there are the people who took me to task for giving Kelly credit for the bottle idea when the extras on Yahoo seem to show Ivana coming up with the concept. There was even a brazen reader who awarded the corner office to Ivana on her own! May I just point out that I was given this lofty position of promotions and demotions because I possess a keen insight and a snarky personality (and was willing to take on an extra column each week)? It's not like my decisions are arbitrary. If people went around awarding corner offices willy-nilly, there'd be no one left to make fun of. And we don't want that, now, do we? (Although, I have to give kudos to the person who awarded Raj a job in the ladies' restroom for his appalling behavior toward women. Granted, we'll probably be hit with a whopper of a sexual harassment lawsuit, but how perfect is he for that position? Well done!)

Thanks for the responses, both critical and encouraging. So, how did everyone stack up on this second-to-last episode? As we know, there was no challenge, just interviews. What steamed my weenies (and not in a good way) was that we didn't get to see the interviews in any depth. I want to see how they handled the questions, don’t you? Especially since the "experts" were then brought into the boardroom to talk about each candidate. The consensus seemed to be that everyone thought Kelly was aces, they loved Kevin but thought he was perhaps too intense, they thought Jennifer was all right but lacked motivation, and they liked Sandy as a person but thought she did not have a sufficient education or breadth of experience. I couldn't award promotions and hand out demotions based on stuff I didn't see under these circumstances. So, how to divide up the company? By taking each person individually through the episode. How did they stack up?

Kevin: You was robbed! Nothing more to it than that. To get fired because you are intense and well-schooled? Then to fire Sandy for being your opposite? Seems to underscore my complaint all along – that Donald wants a bland middle-management type. Kevin can come work for my fake corporation any time, and although I can't hand him the corner office, he's getting a lovely office with a view. No Italian leather and the coffee is strictly bring-your-own, but he's proven he's a team player and a good leader (he's 2-0 to Jen's 1-0 record) and he has earned a permanent position. Kevin, you rock.

Sandy: The indignity of having Kevin fired before Sandy almost (ALMOST) made me swear off this show. Sandy's been competent, there's no doubt, but she was the least successful interviewee of the first part of last night's show, and her tendency to scream in the boardroom is thoroughly unprofessional. Then there's the lack of education. How she got third position over Kevin is beyond me. Still, she held her own against Jen and I think she whupped her skinny fanny in the fight. All Jen had to say (and say repeatedly) was that she made a big move to San Francisco. Big Whup! I've moved every three years since I was 18. Give me the job! Sandy didn't deserve to go before Jen, but she should not have outlasted Kevin. And I can't even consider offering her a permanent position until she's completed anger management.

Kelly: I know everyone loves Kelly, but as successful as he's been in the game/interview process, he strikes me as lacking personality. That's the only criticism he got from the interviewers. He's an automaton, albeit a competent one. He just didn't grab me. His first actions this week of enough substance to evaluate for these purposes were selecting teammates for the last challenge. The field from which he chose was strewn with minefields, but I think he picked the stronger of the two teams. I might have exchanged Pamela for Elizabeth, but Kelly never liked Pammy. Also, as a friend pointed out, Elizabeth sucked as a manager but was a hard worker. And she's controllable. Stacy R. and Pam are not. As for choosing Raj, I can't see that as being a plus, except when his other choice was Chris. Chris is not a great worker, has an abrasive personality, and is a complainer. Raj may be slimy and pretentious, but as he said, he wants to win. He'll work for that win. John is also a hard worker, as we saw on the QVC challenge, and he, too, is malleable. I think Kelly can be general of this army and lead it where he wants.

What about the challenge so far? Kelly had the harder of the two tasks, in my humble opinion. Most of us could fake our way through the basketball task (especially if, like me, you love basketball – Utah Jazz rock!), but how many of us have a good grasp of polo? My concerns with him so far have been his micromanagement on the one hand, and, ironically, his inability to control his troops on the other.