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The Real Gilligan’s Island, Episodes 5 & 6: It's An Uphill Climbby William Ingram -- 12/16/2004
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Like Robinson Crusoe, it's primitive as can be.”
-- Theme to Gilligan’s Island
I’m not quite sure what TBS’ strategy is with this show. A month or so ago, they announced that they would be showing new episodes on Tuesday and Wednesday. So I set up the VCR to record the shows, since I’m out Tuesday evenings. Now they’ve stopped showing new episodes Wednesday and are showing two new episodes on Tuesday. I almost missed Episode #6 this week (but, thanks to the editor, I caught it at the last minute). Why do networks try so hard to undermine their shows like this?
Anyway, welcome to another zany episode (or should I say zany two episodes) of The Real Gilligan’s Island. You can read my review of the previous episode, or I can simply give you the short version: Green team sweeps … diving for pearls … Nicole Eggert banished … spinning chairs … Gooner banished … hurricane … Gilligan and Mary Ann getting closer.
The show starts off with the castaways returning to camp after the hurricane. The professor tells us that they were lucky to find higher ground and a cave to hide in (I’ve heard rumors that the producers actually evacuated them from the island, but we’ll go with the professor’s story because it’s more fun that way). The castaways pick up broken branches, leaves, and rocks from around camp and generally are happy that the huts and most major items survived the storm.
After the crew cleans up a bit, Scott Laskey, our host, appears in camp and invites the players to gather around while he explains how the game has changed. He holds up a life preserver (which has “S.S. Minnow” written on it, just like in the original series). He says that whoever has it at the end of the show will win the prize.
He also adds that all players will be playing individually from now on, even the two millionaires. There will be reward challenges and “safety” challenges (on Survivor, they’d be called immunity challenges). After each safety challenge, the players will go to voodoo village and vote out one of the other players. The player holding the life ring cannot be voted out. The last player with the ring wins the prize.
And what is the prize? Up to now, we’ve never been told what it is. But, Scott finally reveals that the prize is a brand new Ford Mustang.
Oh, and $250,000 in cash comes along with that Mustang, for gas and tires and stuff. The castaways applaud appreciably. In candid interviews, most of the players tell us that they really need the money.
Of course, the two millionaires (worth $500 million) and movie star Rachel Hunter each tell us that they want to win the game just for the sheer joy of winning. Obviously the money isn’t really a big incentive for the three of them.
Talk immediately turns to alliances. The professor and the movie star each agree with each other that they won’t be a part of any alliance. Unfortunately, as almost any fan of reality shows knows, not being a part of any alliance will doom you quite quickly.
The millionaires, on the other hand, point out that because they are married, they have a built-in alliance that can never be broken. Fair enough. Unfortunately, this worries them because, as we reality show fans know, unbreakable alliances are immediate targets for the rest of the group.
Speaking of unbreakable alliances, there’s Gilligan and Mary Ann. Millionaire Glenn wants to make sure those two kids are on their side. As we recall, these four players, in the hot tub last episode, all pledged to be an alliance of four.
And we find out nothing about where the skipper stands on alliances.
Suddenly, the radio crackles to life and announces that the first individual challenge will take place, post haste, down at the lagoon and will involve something fishy.
The castaways arrive at the lagoon to find Scott standing over a large pool of dead and rotting fish, complete with flies and sea gulls waiting for everybody to leave. He explains that a rich lady has lost her diamond ring and it’s in one of the fish. Whoever finds it first wins a pepperoni pizza dinner.
He waves his arm and they’re off! I hope I don’t really have to describe all the action. It’s mostly people picking up fish, holding their noses, ripping out the guts, and looking inside. This goes on for a while, and everyone is close to vomiting. Finally, after about 75% of the fish have been searched, Mary Ann triumphantly holds up the ring. Everyone cheers. Oh, they aren’t actually cheering for her, they’re cheering because they don’t have to rip open fish anymore.
As on Survivor, Mary Ann is now told that she can select one other player to join her for dinner. Gosh, I wonder who she is going to choose? Yup, it is her little buddy Gilligan.
And so, the youngsters prepare for their date. Mary Ann showers while Glenn offers some fatherly advice for Gilligan –“Go for the pie, son. Pizza pie, that is.”
Glenn’s not done with the zingers. Mindy comments that, not only don’t they get pizza, but they smell like fish. Glenn kisses her and says, “That ain’t the first time.” She pauses and then says, “but it might be the last.”
Have I mentioned how much I really like these two?1 2 3 Next-->
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