Real World Philadelphia, Episode 16: The Passion of the Semi-Attached

Last time: Sarah learned to embrace her mother’s illness once and for all; Karamo dumped his boyfriend for liking ‘80s R&B or something. Karamo nor Dorian nor anyone is really sure why.

At lunch, MJ, Sarah, Shavonda, and Willie chat about acting and the theater, which somehow drifts to Mel Gibson, which drifts to The Passion of the Christ. Sarah despises the movie, and Gibson, because she felt it was anti-Semitic. Sarah tells us she deals with anti-Semitism quite often, as most people don’t know she’s Jewish. MJ, from the rural South you know, seems shocked at that interpretation. MJ says he was told the whole point of the movie was to show how much Christ suffered. That should have been the end, but these kids are too young to know that you should never have discussions about religion without extreme caution.

Sarah says something like MJ’s thinking comes from narrow fundamentals, like she understands the Torah was written by man, so it should not be taken as gospel. MJ tells us that it burns him up when Sarah has to inflict her opinion on everything. MJ says that’s Sarah’s effing opinion. Sarah says she’s just debating, take it easy. MJ scowls through lunch and they all break.

Sarah tells Shavonda that MJ can’t handle a woman with an opinion. His ideal woman would be blonde with no thoughts of her own.

Enter Kim.

Pretty blonde Kim is being roundly chatted up by MJ. MJ mentions he graduated from college last June (ideal for his mack!), Kim asks if he knows Debbie Bleeped. MJ’s jaw drops, Debbie Bleeped is one of his best friends in this whole wide world!! This leads to butt-grinding dancing. MJ manages to get out of the club in one piece and chaste. He tells Landon he’s promised to be good, but man is it tough! After all, he’s sorta of single. Sort of. He’s semi-attached. MJ buys Kim a rose, considering that to be directly on the line of demarcation that he will not cross. (I wonder is Ashley will see rose offering as innocuous?)

Willie is getting his drink on with Male Diana, as Karamo looks on amused. Willie is clearly hammered, but he tells Male Diana that he’s "not as bad as he wants to be!" More martinis! Karamo asks Willie how much longer he wants to stay. Willie slurs something about fireworks (between the alcohol and his "gay accent" there’s no telling what he actually said!). More martinis! Karamo’s seen enough. He interrupts Willie’s boogie down session to say he’s ready to go. Willie says he is too, but proceeds to get into a grinding sandwich. Karamo splits.

Shortly thereafter, Willie leaves the club, but doesn’t see Karamo. "Where’s Omarosa?" I swear he said. Male Diana says he’s gone. "Romo’s not here!" he slur-shrieks.

Back at the house, Shavonda is relaying the Passion fight for Shawn. MJ is eager to tell Ashley who he met, but Shavonda (apparently, as usual) is on the phone. MJ and Landon figure they will stare her off the phone. That only annoys her. MJ then plops down next to her, but she says get out. MJ asks how much longer. Ten minutes, she says. MJ says he won’t be rude right now, but in ten minutes, he will be. Is that a threat? Shavonda asks. Sure, MJ says flippantly as he leaves. Shavonda tells Shawn she’d better go, she’s getting upset. (Like a lot of girls, upset makes her cry.) Shawn won’t let her leave like that. Shavonda kvetches that she does not deserve to be approached like that, she’s not disrespecting him, don’t disrespect her, "white ass country motherf***er!"

Shavonda tearfully shares her woes over MJ with Sarah and Mel. Mel (this season’s narrator) says Shavonda has been in an abusive relationship and she is sensitive to being spoken to harshly. Shavonda tells us she’s been choked and body slammed by an ex, and she’s not dealing with that sort of stuff anymore. MJ calls Ashley, but she’s not home. He hears the girls talking and pops in. Mel mediates that Shavonda felt MJ was impossibly rude to her. MJ offers that he probably was, and he apologizes for that, but he doesn’t see why Shavonda should cry about it.

That doesn’t help. Shavonda tells us he immediately devalued her feelings, and he shouldn’t bother apologizing if he doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for. MJ manages to smooth those waters out somehow, because they end up hugging.