Real World Philadelphia, Episode 17: The Return of Dark Landon

Last Week: Willie partied too hard, and MJ fought with Sarah and Shavonda. Karamo listened to Willie kvetch. Mel listened to Sarah and Shavonda kvetch. Landon was barely seen. You what that means...

MJ tells us he and Landon went out for Boys Night Out (isn't that every night?), and wandered into Mel's favorite bar, her place to escape (think hard. It's tough, I know, Mel hasn't made a contribution to this show since October!). But, the boys don't find the "serenity" Mel found. Instead, they found heckling. Being followed around by a camera crew will do that. MJ wisely tells a nervous looking woman that they will finish their drinks and split.

Back at the house, MJ tells Mel they found her bar, The Drinkery. Mel's face explode and urges them to ditch it if they don't feel an absolute affinity for it. She repeats the bar is her escape from the house, to us. Shavonda notes Mel doesn't even know her last name, yet she needs to escape from them? Landon says he senses Mel doesn't like him, and it's important to him what people think of him.

Shavonda and Karamo find some heckling of their own. On a subway, some loud person decides to criticize Shavonda openly for trying to "cross over." (That means, pretend to be white.) Shavonda tells Karamo that she experienced that in school a lot, so she knows how to deal with it. (Her method is keep her head down and not defend herself.) Karamo asks if there were some "brothers and sisters" she could have opened up to in school. He adds, when he first met her, he thought... but, doesn't finish (probably smart). Shavonda says she was called a coconut or an Oreo cookie so often when she was younger, and she would say, "My name is Shavonda, if you care."

Karamo asks why she doesn't further embrace her ethnicity. Shavonda says she doesn't see color in people. Karamo says he can't get to that point. Shavonda tells us that she is very aware of her history; she doesn't let it run her life. Karamo tells her that he prays one day he will stop seeing color, but that prayer hasn't been answered. He feels like he's missing so much by not having an open mind. He tells us, "To realize that the way that you were was not a good way to be... is a hard thing to admit to."

That feels like foreshadowing, doesn't it?

MJ and Landon are at yet another bar, and Landon is plastered again. MJ says most people draw a line when they drink. When they get to a certain point, they cut themselves off for the night. Landon doesn't seem to have that line.

Back at the house, Mel has assembled some of her Drinkery pals for an after party, MJ says. MJ adds that Mel told them those folks won't like him and Landon, so this is a recipe for disaster. Somehow, a drunken spat erupts between Landon and Mel. It starts with "let go of me" back and forth. Landon is getting angry, and Mel is insisting she's only playing, calm down (which usually further enrages the enraged). Landon (wearing a tee shirt that says "Huggable," of all things) booms, "Step the f*ck down!" and suddenly, the little crowd in front of the house is noticing the spat. This is going to be bad.

And, it is.

One of Mel's Drinkery pals takes umbrage to the way Landon is talking to Mel, and proclaims he will "break his f*cking jaw!" MJ and Mel try to play peacemaker, and bizarrely, allow the party to continue, after Mel implores MJ to "control" Landon.

So, the Drinkery Crew (about six of them) and Mel do a confessional, featuring the Drinkery Crew going through a litany of bodily harm they'd like to do to "Huggable." It seems like they are pretty loud, and Landon seems to hear every word. And seethes. He declares to no one in particular (maybe the cameraman), that "there will be some fights!" (Mel? Mel. The party is over. Send the boys home!)

Out of confessional, Mel tells a couple of them that Landon is really an @$$hole when he's drunk. Landon hears that too, "way to go, Mel!" he sneers. The crew goes to play pool with Mel. Landon is literally talking to himself, saying things, well slurring things, like, "I wish I could be Mel right now! If I were Mel, I'd be so f*cking cool!" Folks, he's literally sneering. Meanwhile, Mel sees Landon sneering, and finds it hilarious. She's sharing the joke with her buds. (She's mocking him now. She is not helping this situation one iota!)