The Will: A Preview

Mike Fleiss has done it again! Fans of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette will be delighted that he has put his reality TV nose to the grindstone and come up with this newest entry, The Will.

The official website for the series courted someone with a "sizable fortune and a substantial sense of humor to be the Benefactor." They also have to have a family willing to compete "for a share of" the Benefactor's "hard-earned fortune." Quick: list all the millionaires you've heard of who have both the fortune and a sense of humor... I can wait all day... Oh yeah: the humorous millionaire has to be willing to give away his or her fortune on national TV... Narrows the list down, doesn't it?

The first mirthy millionaire is Bill Long, whose nearest and dearest will be fighting over his ranch in Kansas. Ranch in Kansas? Oh wait – he's also a "wealthy land developer." Either Bill doesn't have enough grubby relatives or he's more generous than your average millionaire, because his friends as well as his family are competing to win the ranch. There's the catch: they don't get his millions, they get the ranch. Hoo boy, a ranch in Kansas. That's better than a year's worth of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat, but perhaps not much. True, I haven't seen the ranch yet, but I lived in Kansas for three years (go Jayhawks!). I'd take the rice.

Who are our future 4-H'ers? The producers have provided a handy dandy "family tree" for us (see below), which actually just makes me sad. The "heirs" battling it out are all Bill's employees, save one. Oh wait: there's also a trophy wife (Bill's 4th). Sorry, my bad. For a minute it seemed that he had no real family participating:

Here is a look at all the competitors, in alphabetical order:

Ashley, 24, is Penny's (4th wife) son, who may be interested in herding cattle or (gasp) may be using reality TV to launch an acting career. See, he used to be a child actor; he played Blake Carrington's grandson on Dynasty. Anyone who knows what that means and who he is, email me, please. And, in case anyone thinks that the son of a fourth wife is a bit too attenuated a connection to Bill to be a legal heir, they should check out Kristen, below.

Second in our alphabet soup is Bette, 73, a former showgirl and Penny’s mother. Anyone else think the producers are stretching connections? Remember, look for Kristen, below. Bette and her daughter don't get along.