Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search, Episode 2: That ‘70s Shoot

Returning from eliminations, Stacy and Stella discuss who left. Stacy says she was hoping to get some inkling of an idea as to what the judges are looking for, but since the four people sent home last weekwere so different from each other, she still has no clue what the judges are looking for. Betti and Alicia talk about how crucial it is to take advantage of any kind of leverage that you’re given. Sabrina learned that lesson the hard way last week.

Stacy mentions in an interview that she’s “sort of like a piece of glass. I’m fragile and I break easily if there’s a lot of pressure.” May I suggest a cashier position at your local Wal-Mart then? If you’re that fragile and can’t handle the pressure, you’re probably in the wrong industry. To be a successful model you need to be more like a rhino skin than a piece of glass. The talk continues as Alicia repeats to Jenna what she said last week, that there should be no love lost between any of the contestants, since they are your competition.

Roshumba, one of the judges, makes a surprise visit to the home of the models and is greeted by Stacy. The first thing she notices is that Betti cut her hair so it’s now shoulder length, after the judges told her last week that it was hiding her face. Roshumba explains that the judges want to help the models be all that they can be, so she’s enlisted the help of Hair Stylist to the Supermodels, John Barrett. He starts out by evaluating each model’s tresses individually. Stacy is up first and is asked, “What the hell have you been doing to your hair?” Apparently John isn’t very impressed. Someone whose hair he is very impressed with is Alicia, commenting, “your hair is perfect, your skin is perfect, I hate you.” Of course, he’s joking, though. For Stella, he wants to bring her hair back to its natural color. Betti apparently only started the job of cutting her hair; John wants to take it all the way and leave her with very little hair so as to highlight her beautifully round face, which is being hidden by her hair. Gee, where have we heard that before? Oh that’s right, from Joel last week. Jenna’s hair is beautiful as is.

Betti talks in an interview about her willingness to do whatever it takes to win, but that giving up her braids is difficult. I’m focusing on the new ‘do she has. It looks very much like the one Jada Pinkett-Smith had in The Matrix movies. All the other models like their makeovers, but Betti is silently fuming in the hair stylist’s chair. She’s sporting a huge afro that makes her look like Foxxy Cleopatra from the most recent Austin Powers movie. She says it’s because she’s never seen an African-American with an Afro in Sports Illustrated, and starts giving John all sorts of attitude about her hairstyle. Jenna mentions in an interview how shocked she is by Betti’s behavior and attitude. John tells her very nicely that he can’t help her if she doesn’t change her attitude.

In an interview, John says that, “If I put a bag on your head, you’re supposed to wear it. I know [Betti’s] hair looked good because that’s my job.” So basically this guy believes he’s incapable of a creating an undesirable hairstyle. How arrogant can you get? Hey John, you ever hear that saying “The customer’s always right”? While I don’t agree with her attitude, I do agree that her hair looks hideous – like an ill-fitted wig.

Jenna gets the next clue from the front door and shouts for the girls to assemble. They shriek when they see themselves on the mock Sports Illustrated cover that is the front of the clue. The models are told that their next athletic event will involve movement and to wear the uniforms that came with the clue. Betti has nothing better to do on the way to the event so she complains about how the stylist fried her hair. Geez, get over it already!

The models walk into the venue to find the L.A. Clippers Spirit Dance Team doing a dance number. Adaora admits in an interview that she can’t dance and hopes they won’t be evaluated on it. Those hopes go down in flames when Jessie Christensen, the Dance Team’s director, explains that with the help of Team Captain Tracy Vosper, the contestants will have one hour to learn the choreography for the dance they just saw. Not only will they be judged, but a Supermodel Pass will be awarded to the model with the best overall personality, coordination, and execution. Aside from Adaora, Jenna is another model who is having trouble learning the dance. Betti does another interview about how she’s looking at the newly-styled coifs of the other models and how she alone underwent a radical transformation. Geez, can someone give this girl a chill pill already? I’m thisclose to asking my fellow writer Mel for the Pepto she uses while recapping Big Man on Campus! Alicia struggles to keep up but mentions that she’s trying to “fake it till you make it.”