Caesars 24/7, Episode 2: Booby Prize

Tonight’s episode of Caesars 24/7 opens with the news that Alejandro Fernandez, “The Elvis of Mexico,” will be playing Caesars Palace tonight. He’s been a major draw in the past, but a security headache. Expectations are that it could get rough and the whole staff is nervous.

We next meet blonde Brandy Beavers. That’s her real name, no foolin’. She’s a popular Shadow Dancer at the Shadow Bar, which means she dances in a sexy way while her enlarged silhouette is shown on big screen, giving the illusion of nudity. However, Brandy claims she has never had to perform topless in her career. Brandy’s objective in life is to be featured in Playboy magazine. Yes, the life objective of “achieving world peace,” that’s still open. Tomorrow, she’s getting a boob job as a career move. Oy vay, I just finished recapping The Swan and here we are again!

Our third story focuses on pit boss Joe Comastro. Joe is interested in a promotion to the more prestigious, better-paying position of Casino Host, and he’s arranged to do the job on a trial basis tonight. Umm, does anyone remember the story of dorky Tommy, who tried to make the jump to Casino Host on Fox’s The Casino last year? Remember what a bad idea it was? Well, let’s hope Joe fares better.

They’ve given Joe a tough, demanding customer, Murray King. Murray expects everything, wants it immediately, and doesn’t expect to pay for it. Well, me too, but so far, nada. Joe says, “You can’t make him happy.” Murray has a thousand stories about Sinatra, George Burns, and other Vegas legends, but Murray can’t tell his stories and do anything else at the same time. Joe’s being frustrated in his attempts to get Murray up to the room, but in time, mission accomplished.

Once there, Murray wants nine tickets to tonight’s fight at Caesars Palace’s new outdoor facility. Joe thinks he’s arranged for the tickets, but when he goes to pick them up, there are only eight there. Joe says, “This could make me or break me.” Cut to commercial.

Brandy is returning to work after three weeks off. She’s ready to go, though she knows she’ll have to take it easy. Her boyfriend has arranged a “welcome back” party for her, with a boobs cake. Nice. Before and after pix show us her silhouette’s going to be improved, and a bartender confirms it is so. Anyways, she’s happy, she performs, she’s still popular, boyfriend’s OK with it all, and it’s a lovely tale. Sorry Dr. Ianni, no therapy required. Moving on!

Back to Joe and his tickets, it’s one second later and lo and behold, there’s no problem, here’s the ninth ticket. The crisis and all possible suspense have been averted. Wow, how crappy a job of editing was that?

Joe returns to the room with the tickets, he learns it’s Murray’s wife’s birthday, and she’d like David Osbourne to perform at her party. No, not one of those Osbournes! It turns out this one is in town, but at another hotel. Joe says, “No problem, it’s done!” because he’s afraid if he says otherwise, he won’t get the job.

The next story centers on Juan and his red/orange-haired girlfriend, who have flown in from Mexico to see the Alejandro Fernandez concert. She thinks Juan’s shy and nice, though he can be touchy. I’m not sure how sincere she is.

The next section is cute. Several groups of young ladies are trying to sneak into the concert, or into the better seats. However, the Caesars staff are ever vigilant, and even the hot ones don’t get any breaks!

Post-concert, Fernandez fans are everywhere and in high spirits. Security notes one hefty bald guy who’s had several drinks and is hitting on any girl who passes by, including Juan’s girlfriend. We’ll be back to this scenario later.

Our final story centers on Chuck Esposito, a legal bookie working for the casino. He’s always been into sports and stats. He gives us a tidbit of info – industry-wide, about $40,000,000 is bet daily. He is aware that most bettors really have no idea what they’re doing.

To prove his point, we see a trio of guys from Ohio studying the lines hard and formulating a plan. Unfortunately, it’s a bad plan – whatever their friend Frankie likes, they’re going to bet the other way. They’re sure Frankie never picks a winner. This plan is so bad, it just could work. After all, the bookies have access to infinitely more and better information that you or I could ever hope for. When in doubt, assume it’s probable that Vegas is right.

They settle on a college football game where Alabama is a seven-point underdog to Tennessee. They call Frankie. Frankie likes the favorite, Tennessee, so counting on “The Frankie Factor,” our boys race off to place a bet on ‘Bama. Problem is, they’re in serious trouble, they’re lost and can’t find the place to bet. However, just before kickoff they luck into the right room and bet a thousand on Alabama.

The game starts OK, but Tennessee goes up by seven and is looking strong to hold or increase the lead. There is some doubt in “The Frankie Factor.” And then… a late interception, a field goal, and ‘Bama only loses by 4. The guys are ecstatic! Profit, $910. “The Frankie Factor” rules! Gotta try again tomorrow!