Big Man on Campus, Episode 6: The One…The Only…Big Woman on Campus

First let’s start out with the fact that our Big Man On Campus seems to like his women young, having chosen the two youngest women from the group of 15. Alexandria is 19 and a sophomore. Michaela is 18 and a freshman. On more than one occasion, Michaela has mentioned a desire to Matt to have him lead her through her college years. I guess this would put Matt in a kind of mentor-like position, which he seems to enjoy. (I would have said a fatherly or brotherly position, but dating your father or brother is just too creepy to contemplate, so let’s just stick with mentor.)

After shots of the two girls playing pool, we see Michaela writing her name and Matt’s name in a notebook. Do girls today still do that? Especially 18-year-olds? I thought that was something girls outgrew in junior high.

Spokeshost Whitney Drolen magically appears to give each of the girls a letter from Matt. Michaela’s letter makes mention of a road trip and fun in the sun. Alex’s letter makes mention of journey “to another place and time” and the need to pack something sexy. Whitney tells us, and the girls, that Michaela’s road trip (to Cocoa Beach) is first up. She’s excited about the date, but disappointed that Alex gets to make the final impression on Matt because she gets the last date. I always said she was a smart girl. Apparently Alexandria doesn’t agree. She thinks that she’s more affectionate, whereas Michaela is more reserved and tends to later regret holding back. Meow! Give the girl a scratching post!

Alex is lying on the bed watching Michaela pack. Heaven forbid she actually does something productive and help her pack. Maybe she’s hoping Michaela will leave something critical behind. Michaela is busy packing her toiletries when Matt arrives, but they eventually set off on their whirlwind adventure.

In the car, Michaela engages in her favorite pastime – and Matt’s least favorite – trash-talking her competition. She mentions how she and Alex have totally opposite looks and how says she feels intimidated by the fact that Matt mentioned on their first night in the hot tub that Alex looks like Jamie-Lynn Discala (who plays rebellious daughter Meadow on The Sopranos), which Matt claims is his favorite type of girl — hot and Italian-looking. Matt seems to have forgotten this incident, but not Michaela.

The two of them finally arrive at a beachside wood cabin called “Driftwood” (not to be confused with that HBO show, “Deadwood”). There are two umbrellas propped up in the sand by two chairs in what looks like a secluded, romantic beach. Michaela is waxing poetic about the beautiful view saying, “I saw a future, I saw possibilities, I saw a future honeymoon spot.”

Whoa! Slow done there, girl. First you got to get the guy, then you got to date him, then you’ll probably break up half a dozen times over seemingly nothing while using such classic lines as, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and, “I need my space,” then you got to get him to commit, then he’s got to pop the question, and THEN you can start planning the honeymoon. At least she admits that she knows she’s not supposed to be thinking such thoughts so early in the relationship.

The two of them decide to change into the swimwear and hit the beach. Cue the cheesy montage of the happy couple frolicking in the waves. Michaela says that Matt “kept me warm,” which is code for “he was all over me as he held me tight and never let me go.” (Hey, I should write for those romance novels!)

After getting wet and wild, Matt decides to write their shared first initial (“M” for Matt and Michaela, get it?) in the sand. Hey what’s that stuff oozing out of my TV? Oh, right it’s the schmaltz brought on by this sappy moment.

Matt opens up to Michaela that she was the first person to catch his eye when he first walked in to the BMOC house at the start of the show and that his initial thought of her was, “you’re really hot.” Michaela responds with a nervous laugh. He mentions how he was looking for someone to chill and hang out with, but he feels such a connection with her that his motives have changed now to looking for a loved one. See? All the good guys aren’t taken, although considering some of Matt’s earlier behavior, I guess it depends on how you define “good.”

Michaela says in an interview that she is extremely happy that Matt also feels they have a deep connection.

While the two of them are having fun in the sun, a guy named Rob introduces himself as being “with the Driftwood house” (probably the owner or at least the resident) and asks them if they’d like to go surfing. Cue another cheesy montage of Michaela and Matt having a tough time standing up, but both seems to be able to maintain their balance for a couple of seconds before falling.