Caesars 24/7, Episode 3: Love, Vegas Style

Tonight’s episode of Caesars 24/7 opens with a few teasers of the show ahead. Hot women at the tables, betting sevens on the Breeder’s Cup, and 21 weddings (some with bumps)! Who can resist that? Let’s go!

Our first story is about a group of gals out for “Ladies Night.” We learn that “Ladies Night” is apparently all about getting foolish old men to spend money on you, with no hope of any favors returned beyond, perhaps, a fetching smile. We’ll refer to this group as “the skanks.”

Michele Adams, our featured dealer for this series, sees groups like these skanks all the time, and I think she’s almost as dumbfounded by them as we are. Here’s how they work – these self-styled “hot chicks” descend on a table of all-male gamblers, make friends with these (usually older) bettors, and then bet with the guys’ money. Often they just reach over and grab chips, and of course in the face of all that blondage and all that cleavage, the guys are too manly to say, “No.”

Although there are more aggressive gals, I’ll just feature the words of one gal I’ll call “tramp d’noir” (very loosely translated: a slutty female wearing black stuff), who says, “What more could you ask for? Our first trip to Vegas, and we’re spending someone else’s money!” and, “We haven’t asked how old they are. I’m guessing, maybe… 50-ish?”… a longer pause, then… “Hi Dad!”

And to make it worse, the guys are closer to 70! ‘Hi Grampa,’ more probably!! I imagine that when this show aired tonight, there were big surprises and elevated blood pressures in at least twenty households! Men are such pigs. And apparently, so are some of their daughters!

Whew! Let’s chill out a little and check out all these weddings. We meet wedding planner Kara Luden and learn that weddings are a big part of life at Caesars Palace – they have their own bakery, florist, and a whole lot more. This is apparently one of the biggest days of the year for weddings at Caesars, they have 21 weddings booked, essentially at half hour intervals.

I am seriously impressed! I cannot even get the burger and the bun to the table while they’re both warm, so how do you wrangle 21 sets of raw, frayed nerves into a performance piece like a wedding? And 42 mothers-in-law? Kara, you deserve a raise!

So, let the vows begin! Just as Kara’s first wedding is about to happen with a very nervous bride, it’s interrupted by a fire alarm. Besides being an annoying backdrop on the video, they actually are not allowed to proceed with the ceremony while the alarm is in progress. Total bummer!

So we slip back to Michele the dealer, who is in a tux tonight because she’s dealing in the High Rollers Room. OK, I capitalized that… “High Rollers Room”… but I have NO IDEA what the room is really called – they would NEVER let someone like me even get CLOSE to it!

Tonight, Michele is on hand to deal for Anthony, from New York State. Anthony is accompanied by a gold-digging leech named Christine. Hey, I calls ‘em as I sees ‘em! Christine is about six inches taller than Anthony, not that he’s using money to compensate for anything. But I’m not as tall as Christine either, so… moving on…

Anthony starts out changing $10K into chips. (For those of you who don’t know, a “K” is a thousand. You’ll be seeing that throughout this recap, these games are not for the faint of heart.)

Anthony just plays Blackjack. He starts slowly – after 5 minutes, he’s down $2,500, and after 10 minutes, he’s down $5K. But then he catches a run! 15 minutes, up $5K; 25 minutes, up $45K; 30 minutes, up $85K; 35 minutes, up $135K! Anthony calls that, “a buck-thirty-five.”

Next scene, Anthony has retired from the tables to an elite cabana. There’s actually a small entourage of about five people there. Christine tells us, “Anthony and I have been dating for eight years. I’m waiting for the ring, baby!” But, Anthony notes, “She’s always going into my pocket for a thousand here, $500 there.” It’s clear he sees her as a free-spending money-pit. As it threatens to escalate, Christine points to her wedding-ring-less finger and shuts down the on-camera discussion.

So Anthony steps aside with one of his buds to joke about, if only she knew how much I won last night, etc. For sure, no one will tell her. Well, if she’s reading this recap, she knows now! Ah, love is built on so many foundations, don’tcha know we’d eventually have to strike quicksand!

Since he’s on a roll, Anthony announces he’s going to enter a Blackjack Tournament at Caesars. Winner gets $75K. Well, for all we know, he’d made that decision way back in NY and that’s why they’re all here, but that’s just my supposition, so… moving on.

Anthony’s playing… we are told that the winner of the round is the one with the most chips after 20 hands. Regrettably, in the next section they don’t refer to “number of hands” again. Wouldn’t that have been nice? But here’s what we do see – after 5 minutes, he’s up $5K; 25 minutes, up $4.7K; and he ends up at $9.7K! And as we learn from a phone call that Christine receives pool-side, Anthony wins not just the round but the whole tournament.

He also tells her he’s picked up an additional $15K in post-tourney play! The girls know what that means… SHOP-PING! And to be fair, Anthony is no stranger to this activity. $67K for a watch. OK, nice watch. Still, wow!