There are always plenty of tears on reality TV. But on the first episode of WB’s The Starlet, we are assured even more when the actress wannabes are forced to cry on cue. Whose fake tears mean they can avoid real tears at the cut? Can Cecile (right) cry rather than smile when the pressure is on? Read on the find out!
Well… NBC tried with Last Action Hero and we see how that one turned out. Quick – tell me who won and the name of the movie they were in…don’t worry I’ll wait for you.
Still waiting.
And I guess you don’t know.
The WB Network has decided that they are going to get into the talent act with their version – The Starlet. Yep, we’ve gone from models to actresses. Part of me would really like them to do something for the men as well rather than focusing just on the female population. Don’t get me started on the whole Manhunt show because it’s most likely not getting done again. Let’s have some gender equity here! If Last Action Hero can have a simultaneous competition with men and women then I don’t see why they can’t do it here.
Anyway, that’s just a rant that I may hit on later in the season as I start to find the show increasingly vapid, but since the New York Times has called the show “PERFECT!” (or so the ads say) I’ll reserve my latent hostility for The Bachelor franchise. Oh… and since we’re talking about that dung heap of a show, I guess I should point out that The Starlet is produced by the same man who does The Bachelor. That alone makes me nervous.
Regardless, this is a show with prize. The winner gets a management contract with 3 Arts Entertainment and a role on the WB show, One Tree Hill. Of course, the running joke is that the runner-up gets to star in two episodes of One Tree Hill. Considering that I’ve never seen the show, I’m assuming that it’s not that great or, at the very least, is no Desperate Housewives. Now, THAT… that, my dear readers, would be something that even I would fight for tooth and nail.
But here we are and let’s meet the ten women and three judges I’m going to have fun with over the next few weeks…
First, we have the judges:
Faye Dunaway: An Oscar winner for Best Actress as Diana Christensen in Network. Coincidentally, just for you trivia buffs out there, Network is one of only three movies to capture the five top prizes at the Oscars and one of only two movies to have taken three acting Oscars as well. Oh, and Faye hates reality TV and has been pretty honest that she’s using this get more exposure.
Joseph Middleton – A top casting director who has done movies such as Legally Blonde, American Pie, and The Bourne Identity among others. I’m so looking forward to episode where he says that someone is like “a monkey on crack.” This, apparently, is a man after my own heart.
Vivica A. Fox. – A movie actress with credits ranging from Independence Day to Kill Bill. Personally, I remember when she was on the short lived soap opera Generations and played Maia with the original Shaft, Richard Roundtree, as her father. I wonder if she still puts that on her acting resume.
And now we see the clips of the nationwide search which were narrowed down to just ten women and they are in Hollywood where they will compete..
Katie – Says she wants to be the type of actress where her co-stars and fans will say that she’s just the nicest person and that she’s going to work her tail off to get to the end. On a side note, she’s blonde (bottle or not, it’s worth mentioning). She’s also wearing a red satiny top that I’m not really digging because it makes her tan look more orange than anything else.
Cecile – From Pretoria, South Africa, and she’s lived all over the world. Her first TV appearance was in London when she was five. Apparently she has also deluded herself into thinking that she was born to be a legend. Again, we have another blonde on the show but she is STUNNING. Absolutely stunning. We’ll see.
Andie – She’s doing stand-up comedy when see her audition tape. If anything, from the girls we have seen already, she’s probably the… um… well… um… largest. And that means she’s probably a size six compared to the size zero we’re seeing from everyone else. But I love her. And we all know what that means. If I love someone, they lose and early. My track record on this is so clear.
Donna – She truly is the sassy black woman that I love. She says that she’s aware of that there is a stereotype of models trying to be actresses but she’s not letting that keep her down. Hmm. Well… when I think back to models turned actresses (or “mattresses” as some of my friends in the biz call them), I guess Cameron Diaz is the only one to kinda be big as an actress and not suck. Like Tyra Banks in Coyote Ugly suck. Sorry, Tyra. You know I love you but I have to be honest. Call me. We’ll do lunch.
Mercedes – She says that acting is a craft and she considers herself to be in the ranks of Oscar winners Cate Blanchett and Meryl Streep. When I hear her say that I kinda want to reach in and smack her silly. However, she does go on to say that she isn’t there yet but she would be one day. Oh yeah… you got a ways to go with that. There’s something about Merecedes’ eyes though that I like. I’m going to put her on my Must Watch list for this show.
Lauren – She says that being a starlet is more than just training and she loves to be sexy. And that’s really all we get from her. No, seriously. Compared to the others that we have seen she’s not given much screen time. Yeah there is twirling around and something with a cheap tiara, but that’s about it. Hmmm.
Courtney – First impression, she looks like a young Paige Davis from Trading Spaces. She’s got the hair and the look. I would swear it’s her slutty younger sister. She says her synapses fire so fast that she’s loud and unexpected. She wants to be the starlet, “Darn tootin’.” No, I didn’t make that up. She actually says, “Darn, tootin’.” I think she drank too much Red Bull before that interview.
Neva – Okay, every reality show needs a bitch and we have found ours. She even says the classic bitch line that she’s not there to make friends. Oh yes, people, we have found ours already. Neva says that she’s going to win because she’s smart, talented, and she always gets what she wants. Hmm. I see her getting her ass beaten down by Donna at some point during the show because I don’t see her winning or anyone else dealing with her attitude.
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