American Idol 4, March 23: The Great Do-Over

Here comes Constantine Maroulis’ love it or hate it performance of "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family (two words I never imagined myself typing). I think I liked it. Randy and Simon didn’t especially. Simon says he found it unusual that hard-rocking Constantine did a Partridge Family song. Ryan shows shades of real journalism when he asks Simon if the contestants are supposed to be showing versatility and adaptability, which gets a huge round of applause from the audience. Now, I would have liked to have heard Simon’s answer to that. But, nooooo! Paula has to interject, babbling something about Constantine making a tongue-in-cheek tribute to the Idols of the seventies. Huh? Randy and Simon sarcastically ohhh like it’s suddenly clearer. Constantine says he liked the song, it was a little tongue-in-cheek, but he just wanted to do something fun. (Thanks Constantine for not letting Paula look like a total ass.)

Then comes the moment Nadia Turner had a misstep. It came in the form of Cyndi Lauper’s "Time After Time." I have to tell you that someone kept asking me if her mohawk would cost her votes. Only among the stupid. Many things were wrong this performance, most importantly, Nadia vocally was just not there. She was ahead, she was behind, she just couldn’t find the handle at all. Happens to everyone. That’s why it’s important to lay a bed of excellent performances early on, so when that misstep happens, you have some cushion.

Ryan says his radio show was full of questions about The Mohawk, and asks if Nadia would rethink it if she could. Nadia says no, it was a tribute to her buddy Mario Vazquez. (Interesting!) Ryan comically asks, "why did he leave?" Nadia says, just as conspiratorially, "I don’t know!" Ryan asks Simon what was missing for him about the performance. Simon says everything. He adds it was worse the second time, it was affected, it was cabaret, it had no edge. He basically despised every note of it. And, he concludes, if it continues, she will be out of the competition very soon. A lusty round of boos follow, so lusty, Ryan giggles in the middle of his vote pitch. Nadia remains as poised and gorgeous as always. (That is how you handle a bad critique. In her head, she’s probably cussing him out enough to curl his chest hair, but all you see on the surface is smile. Perfect.)

Ryan introduces Mikalah Gordon’s dreary reading of Taylor Dayne’s "Love Will Lead You Back." On second listen, it’s even worse. She must have a cold. Like Bruce Barker said in We’ll Be the Judge of That!, she was shrill and hoarse at the same time! Ryan asks Simon if the problem was the song. Simon looks like he’s trying to repress the memory, but answers, "No, it was what came out of Mikalah’s mouth was the problem." (On some level, that’s been the problem all season!) He gets mostly booed.

Ryan asks Mikalah if she agrees it was pretty bad. Mikalah answers, "I think I’m fabulous and so are my fans!" All that’s missing is a dah-ling! Ryan has to reign her in from preening in her applause. Ryan asks her how she ranks her performance. Mikalah saves herself immeasurably by answering, "If we were all Mariah Careys and Whitney Houstons we wouldn’t need this show. We make mistakes, we learn from them and we get better! That’s what American Idol is all about!" Simon watches her like she is slowly losing her mind. But, in reality, that was actually well-reasoned. She’s actually right. She may have elicited a little pity, and it may have saved her from the certain doom she was facing last night! Ryan gives her numbers.

Then came Anwar Robinson’s hit and miss rendition of Chaka Khan’s "Ain’t Nobody." Not Anwar’s best, and I daresay it won’t cost him a single vote. Ryan notes Randy and Simon weren’t thrilled with it. Anwar says he stepped outside of himself and is satisfied with the reward of the risk he took. Randy says Simon was right for once when he commented privately that when you hear that song, you hear Chaka’s vocal in your head and you don’t want that comparison (which is a critique I’ve given at least six times this season! Don’t believe me? Believe Randy then!). Song choice is so crucial. Anwar defends himself (noooo!) that he doesn’t want to be aligned with another performer, he wants to put his own stamp on things (which really is what Randy was telling him to do!). Come on Anwar, shut up and smile.

Jessica Sierra brought out "the girls" again and sang Bonnie Tyler’s "Total Eclipse of the Heart" last night, which we see again. The judges loved it, most of the “We’ll Be The Judge” team loved it, I did not. Simon repeats that Jessica had one of the strongest voices in the competition. Jessica admits it’s hard to be in the bottom three and know she must pick the right song. Ryan plugs her numbers.

Ryan reminds us that you must vote again tonight. Text message voters will not be charged for last night. Here comes the recap, in which Ryan promises with a wink, the numbers are right. They are.

And that’s another show! Tomorrow (hopefully), we get the results. Want to know what I thought last night? Check out my previous recap. I still say Mikalah is toast. We’ll see! Thanks for pulling the overtime with me!

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for many years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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