Knievel’s Wild Ride, Episode 1: Hippy, Comic, Superhero, Rock-n-Roll Tour

Being as this is the very first episode of Knievel’s Wild Ride, let’s do the appropriate thing and jump right in! (If you want to know more about the background of the show and the people we’re going to meet, check out my preview article.) Tonight’s episode will follow Robbie from Washington State to New Jersey where he will jump 25 police cars in the “Above the Law” jump. He is haunted by the fact that he crashed in New Jersey in 1991 and there are supposedly bad omens all along the way to New Jersey.

The show starts with Robbie sitting in Sequim, Washington, and revealing that, “I’m tired of doing shows where people come up and say, ‘Always respect your father,’ because I do.” He goes on to explain that his whole family has a problem with his father (Evel Knievel) and that his relationship with him is his own personal business. He loves and respects his mother more than his father because she stayed with the family and his father went off on his own. It’s his father’s problem. Furthermore, he can make his own decision about his father and, “if you don’t like it you can kiss my ass.“

With the rant completed, we see Robbie’s manager, Dan “Zuck” Zucker (who looks just like Artie Ziff from The Simpsons), driving to Robbie’s house to go over final details of their trip. Zuck says the million-dollar question is why Robbie hasn’t gotten out from under his father’s shadow. He thinks it is because Evel was a pioneer who put daredevil motorcycle jumping on the map. He then argues that Robbie is a better jumper than his father. They obviously want to get past the Evel Knievel issue as soon as possible.

Zuck tells us that Robbie has the “Heebee Jeebees” about the upcoming jump in New Jersey because he crashed there in 1991. We now see the crash footage three consecutive times. Robbie lands, his bike makes friends with his spine, and Robbie is flipped onto the pavement by the impact. To this day, Robbie is freaked out by New Jersey.

Now that New Jersey has been discussed, its time for everyone to get on their Harleys and hit the road! At this point Robbie says, “I really don’t need anybody on the road,” and goes on to explain this his business is stressful so it helps him to be with friends who make him laugh. If he’s laughing that means he’s having fun. He says he thinks of his road trips as “hippy, comic, superhero, rock-n-roll tours.”

The guys ride their Harleys down the interstate, then at some random stopping point we meet Roman, Robbie’s roadie. With his first appearance, Roman offers us a soliloquy on his hardened nipples. For what seems like a good two or three minutes, he relates that his nipples are cold, hard, and in need of protection from the wind. Robbie says he likes Roman because he is funny. I hate to admit it, but the nipple thing is amusing.

Next, we meet Pete. According to Robbie, Pete’s job is to drive, get there, and help build the ramp. We see Pete driving while absorbing punches from Robbie sitting in the passenger seat. I already have Pete pegged as the guy who gets picked on in this group of guys. (Every group of males has that one guy they all like but don’t respect. It’s a rule. I’m usually that guy.)

The gang arrives in Butte, Montana. Robbie grew up in Butte and, as Zuck suggests, he seems to get in touch with his primal instinct there. For Robbie, this involves doing lots of wheelies and riding his bike over a railroad bridge that spans a large chasm.

Lucky for us, Robbie, Roman, and Pete head for one of Butte’s finer drinking establishments. Roman, who is speaking to us from the future, tells us, “A bunch of hillbilly chooks (jerks?) thought they could give themselves a big name by going after Robbie.”

We are now back in the bar where an argument is brewing between Robbie and a group of drunks. It’s a little unclear exactly what the drunks are asserting, but Robbie seems like he’s trying to tell them they are mistaken about him being in Butte two years ago with a black eye. He then tells them they could try to give him a black eye and that he’d even give them the first swing! Awesome. Expletives are now being hurled back and forth, which dissolves into a shoving match. Fists are flying! It’s like an episode of Cheaters has broken out! Numerous guys have jumped on top of Robbie and a little arrow has appeared to show us that he’s the one on the floor getting beaten to death. Wow. The rest of this show could suck and I’d still be happy. Has a scene of senseless violence ever been nominated for the Reality TV Hall of Fame?

After the melee, we watch Roman, Robbie, and Pete sit on a porch and chuckle about the brawl. Robbie says that none of his friends were there and that, “When you got that many guys kicking you it’s hard to get up,” and that there were “10 of them and two of us.” They were definitely the bar’s Ulong tribe. But wait, weren’t there three of them? Robbie, Roman, and Pete. That’s three. Robbie asks, “Where was Pete?” Good question. Where was Pete?

Thanks to additional footage, we see Pete standing right next to the brawl, gawking, and doing nothing. Other men and women are pulling guys out of the scrum while Pete stands there doing nothing. Robbie threatens Pete with a small paycheck, which causes Pete to throw his beer can and storm off. Robbie tells Roman that Pete is “pissed off” but asks, “why should he be pissed off?” Another good question.

Pete goes to his room to pout. He later surfaces and makes up with Robbie. Unfortunately, Pete, the aspiring musician, grabs his guitar and breaks out in song. When he finishes, Robbie accurately states, “that sucked.” I’m starting to really like Robbie.