Survivor: Palau Finale and Reunion Show – Hurray for Tommywood!

In the initial Survivor, it was obvious that the show wasn’t scripted. Otherwise, how could somebody arrogant as Rich Hatch have won the whole thing? If Hollywood were at work, Rudy would’ve taken home the prize.

In the Outback, Colby would’ve taken Keith and won hands-down if the scriptwriters had anything to say about it. Africa actually had something close to a Hollywood ending, because a nice guy Ethan won by a 5-2 vote. It’s obvious that Marquesas wasn’t the product of anyone’s imagination. Otherwise, Vee and Hunter would’ve switched places in the final scheme of things, with Vee going out third and “Top Gun” Hunter being the “Top Survivor.”

Thailand? Like any scriptwriter wanting a happy ending would have a porn star win it all, or even someone as grouchy as Clay. Amazon? Jenna? Only if Alfred Hitchcock were directing. Talk about your bizarre endings. I’d put it on a par with this line from the series finale of the Mary Tyler Moore Show: ”We’ve all been fired, except for Ted.”

Pearl Islands? Obviously, Hollywood would’ve had swashbuckling Rupert win the big prize over Jon by a 7-0 margin. All-Stars? No way the final two would include two people as conniving as Rob and as bland as Amber, and no way would Amber have won, especially considering that a lot of the time, it seemed like Rob was the leading man, and she was more of a supporting character than a leading lady.

Vanuatu actually had pretty close to a Hollywood-type ending, with Chris overcoming immense odds to win the game. This brings us to the show’s tenth edition, better known as Survivor: Palau. If Hollywood had written the end of this episode, it would’ve fallen under the category of “too good to be true.” After all, how often do competitors like Tom take home the prize? Try never, at least until this time.

Honestly, it’s hard to think of an ending that felt as fulfilling as this one. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say this ending felt as good as the ending of

Survivor: Amazon

Of course, if Hollywood had been in charge, Tom would’ve sprained his ankle the way Ulong’s Jeff did, but stayed in the game, stayed in the final immunity challenge 15 hours on the bad ankle, won through sheer willpower, and then coasted to a 7-0 win in final tribal council over the villainous, treacherous “Katie DeVille.”

Speaking of which, could Hollywood have come up with a better villain than Katie? Going into the final tribal council, I thought she might actually have a chance, mainly because I wondered if she’d come across as badly to the others as she did on TV As it turns out, the editing actually made her look BETTER than she was. Now, to those of you saying, “C’mon Ken, did you REALLY think she had a chance?” No, but I didn’t think Jenna had a chance in the Amazon either. Now, will someone as obnoxious as Katie have a shot in Survivor: Guatemala? Yep, right after Tiger Woods misses a cut—uh, never mind.

Now, as is the tradition here, let’s ask a few questions, starting with Tom: Does he deserve a spot in the RealityTV Hall of Fame? My answer: If he doesn’t, then the Hall should forever be closed to new nominations. I can’t think of anyone more deserving, not to mention more dominant.

I’ve always believed that for anyone who wins Survivor, luck plays a part. But Tom, in my view, MADE his own luck. Not only was he dominant in challenges, he was a leader in his tribe right up until the very end. If it seemed like he was making most of the tribal decisions as far as daily living, keep in mind most of those decisions turned out to be right. And let’s not forget his age: At 41, and with gray hair, Tom didn’t exactly look intimidating. But how many times did he outperform players at least 10 years his junior? Like Nolan Ryan, who pitched a no-hitter in his early 40’s, Tom helped show that age doesn’t always have to be a barrier to success. Yes, the first two Survivors were won by people close to Tom’s age. But neither Rich nor Tina were as physically dominant as the Big Apple firefighter.

Now, on the flip side, does Ian deserve a Hall of Shame moment for stepping down during the final immunity challenge and imploring Tom to take Katie? In my opinion, yes. [Editor’s note: He got one. And you can read about it right here.] Once you’ve gotten this close to the finish line, what’s the point of dropping out of the race just so someone else can win? Was Ian’s “integrity” worth one million dollars? I hope so, because it sure wasn’t good gameplay. In fact, I’d say this move is worse than Colby taking along Tina. If Rich Hatch were in his grave, he would’ve been rolling over in it when Ian stepped down, and I wouldn’t blame him.

If Ian had been thinking strategically, he would’ve lied when Tom asked him “Were you planning to vote me out,?” after Tom won the final four immunity. After all, Ian could’ve pointed out that Jenn had an agenda in pointing this out, and most likely, Tom would’ve believed him. Instead, this admission caused immense friction between the game-long friends and led to Ian finally stepping down and taking himself out.

When he started to cry to the camera, and said he didn’t come here to play the villain, I actually sympathized with him, because he never came across as the villain. Even agreeing to vote Tom out if he could was simply a strategy move. But while he never came across as the villain, by taking himself out he came across as the chump. Yeah yeah, you can say he made the right moral decision, but this was a game, and after working so hard to get this far, he threw the game away. It’s like running the first 24 miles of a marathon, and then abruptly quitting 2 miles before the finish line.