Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno 2, Episode 14 – “You Can’t Beat Me!”

Previously, CT plotted to get rid of Dan so that he could have fewer players on his team and a bigger cut of the pot. At the “If Memory Serves” challenge, the Bad Asses had a memorable loss to the Good Guys. When it was time for Inferno nominations, Dan and Landon were put up for their teams. This is the final men’s Inferno, and everyone is scared. Someone is going home tonight.

First, thanks to Jen Shrader for covering for me the past two weeks. I had a birthday, then I moved. I’m movin’ on up, I am. Anyway, Jen’s the sh*t, but you knew that already. Moving on…

Day. Derrick and Dan talk, and Dan says that he knew he’d be in this position from the beginning, and since he’s not slitting throats, he’s at a disadvantage. He has different priorities, and doesn’t feel like he has to prove anything. However, he’s not worried about the Inferno, since he won once. I’m sorry, it’s a little hard for me to feel so sorry for Dan when he was acting like a jerk to Jodi. Actually, it’s hard for me to feel bad for any of these people, except Beth and Jamie, since I adore them.

Landon says that everyone is scared of the Inferno. He tells Darrell that if he wins the Aztec Lifeshield (AL), he will be sending Darrell in. Landon feels it’s the right thing to give him a heads up. Darrell doesn’t understand why he just told him that, since he has no plan of just rolling over and dying. Aww, he doesn’t? The gang gets their clue, and it tells them to be ready in their swimsuits tomorrow, and not to be caught in a pinch. What a great clue. Shavonda thinks that a smaller team has its benefits, while CT is in another room, harping on Dan and continually asking him who he’ll send into the Inferno if he wins the AL. Dan tells CT that he’ll choose his mom, and have her flown down. That was actually funny. CT continues to ask Dan what’s going on and Dan doesn’t want to talk about it. Of course, CT thinks that it will be him.

The teams arrive at the mission, and it’s called “Crab Grab.” They will each be buried in the sand and crabs will be running around them. While they are sitting in the their sand pit, they must sit on their hands. When they are buried, the object will be to unbury themselves and get to the shore, then, one crab at a time, they must take 10 back to their crate. Team members can help each other out of the sand, but not with the crabs. The fastest person to do this on each team will get the AL. Jamie has no idea how she is going to get out, and Landon contemplates not helping others out of the sand, but everyone comes to the agreement that they will help one another. Darrell says that he knows he’s in trouble and has to win.

The Bad Asses are contemplating too, and Dan tells CT to stop asking him about the AL. CT just wants to know if Dan is going to help the rest of the team, and Dan tells him to stop picking a fight. Sure enough, CT goes into his “You can’t beat me” spiel. I hate people like that. Truth is, he’s probably the biggest wimp. Just because you can lift however many pounds he can lift doesn’t mean he’s tough. Like me… I’m little, but I fight dirty. I’d pull a razorblade from beneath my tongue and cut his a$$. See how he likes that! Anyway, Shavonda and Jamie mock how the Bad Asses are bickering, while Dan is trying to be rational. Rachel can’t believe all this is going on right before the mission, and Dan suggests to the camera that he buries CT so that he smothers. Hmm, I’m all for it!

Everyone is finally in their holes and gets buried. CT has a belly button ring? Nobody looks happy about all this, and then someone puts a crab next to each of their faces. Mike blows his some kisses, while Tonya flips out. The horn goes off and everyone begins. CT, Darrell, Landon, and Dan are the first out. Landon starts helping Jamie, while Darrell goes right for a crab on the beach. CT is helping Veronica, and Dan sees Rachel stuck and helps her too. Everyone is going for their crabs, and Mike notes that Shavonda is walking, and it’s upsetting him. Darrell ends up being the first person from the Good Guys to finish, and CT is first for the Bad Asses, with Dan coming in a close second.

Shavonda is the last person on her team still collecting crabs, and says that running isn’t her thing. She can’t breathe and is panicking. Veronica is last on her team. Both rush to get their last crab and try to run back to their team. Shavonda gets it in first, and Veronica knows that it sucks because she should have done better. Landon says it’s not cool that Darrell ran down to the beach before helping everyone, but Darrell feels that they still won, so there is no reason for anyone to be crying, you have to move forward. Yeah, but if Landon did it to him, you can bet Darrell would be running his mouth. Dave gives the AL to Darrell and CT, and then gives the $10,000 to the Good Guys, meaning that both teams now have $70,000.

Let’s fast forward right to the Inferno. The teams enter through the top floor and Dan enters for the Bad Asses, as they all chant “Danimal” for him. In comes Landon for the Good Guys, and when asked, CT says he won’t save Dan, and Darrell won’t be saving Landon.

This Inferno is called “Pegged.” Each person must climb to the top of the wall with pegs, taking any route they want. The first person to the top wins. Dan says that Landon is weirding him out with all his pacing and shouting. Dave hits the gong and off they go. It’s hard to tell who is in the lead, and Darrell says it looks like a tie, but then Landon clearly starts to pull ahead. Dan is beginning to struggle, and Landon makes it to the top, prompting his team to scream like wild apes. Tina says that Dan is strong and it’s a sad loss and he doesn’t deserve to go.

Landon heads back to the good guys, while Dan says goodbye to the Good Guys first, and then most of his own team. Of course, CT has nothing to say to Dan and gives him the peace sign. Rachel says there is a bit of heart gone from their team since Dan is leaving, and Dan cries, even though he has always vowed to never be one of those reality TV people who cries when they are eliminated.

Dan is just glad that he played a fair game. It wasn’t all about the money to him, and that’s why he’s leaving. He feels like Sally Field since “They love him, they really love him.” Relax Dan, I don’t love you. Then, off he goes into the smoke, never to be heard from again… hopefully.

Next week, there is more bickering with the Bad Ass girls. Tonya is getting all up in Veronica’s grill, so that should be fun. There is bungee jumping in the next challenge, and Shavonda and Jamie seem to be freaking out Tonya. Same old thing, from week to week. Three weeks left, thank goodness. What did I get myself into? Thanks again to Jen! I’ll be back next week!

Phil Kural is an office manager at a law firm, and graduated from Temple University with a degree in journalism. You can send feedback to him at pkural@gmail.com.

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