Hit Me Baby 1 More Time, Episode 2: Stop Collaborate and Listen

To the surprise of everyone, including NBC, Hit Me Baby 1 More Time is a hit! Last week, it ranked number one in the oh-so-coveted 18-49 demographic, leading to rumors that the original three-week run NBC ordered for it will likely be expanded.

What a summer it has been already. Ballroom dancing Evander Holyfield, demented chefs, geek chic, and now this – hitmakers of yesteryear taking another shot for charity (and the ever-present hope that they will acquire another lucrative record contract). Looks like audiences don’t mind reflecting on the past. And, I gotta admit, it is fun watching a group like Arrested Development put its own stamp on a modern day hit like "Heaven."

This week’s installment of Hit Me Baby 1 More Time features The Knack ("My Sharona"), Tommy Tutone ("867-5309: Jenny"), The Motels ("Suddenly Last Summer"), Vanilla Ice, and Haddaway ("What Is Love?").

Host Vernon Kay, with Paul McCartney’s Wings haircut this week, welcomes us. He tells us with canned excitement that Arrested Development won last week on the show and also on the online poll. I think we were supposed to ooh or something.

Moving on to this week, we are reminded that The Knack were critical darlings when "My Sharona" slowly exploded on rock radio like an atomic bomb. They were predicted to be the Next Big Thing, the new Rolling Stones, the new Ramones, the new Who. None of those things came to be, as the Knack couldn’t muster another hit on the level of "Sharona" and faded gracefully away.

Now they are back, rising on that platform, grim-faced and nattily dressed (they look oddly like Spandau Ballet). They tear into a blistering "My Sharona," sounding surprisingly fresh. Not bad at all. Lead singer dude, who hasn’t aged a bit (in a disturbing way) says after the song that the modern hit they will cover will be Jet’s "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" That should be fun!

Haddaway is one genuine-article one hit wonder. His "What Is Love?" was a club staple for a loooong time, and was briefly resurrected by the movie A Night At the Roxbury. Try as he might, Haddaway couldn’t manage another hit in the U.S., though he has had a longer shelf life in Europe. But not much longer.

Haddaway gives a tuneful, well sung, if a bit affected performance of "What Is Love?" and I resisted the urge to jerk my head to the right throughout. Haddaway has a very nice voice, one of the problems with dance music – sometimes the voice gets lost in the beat. Because, really, the beat is what matters. Haddaway promises to gives us a little Britney Spears’ "Toxic" as his modern hit. Somewhere, Britney is thinking, "great, they use the name of my song, and now this clown is singing my almost comeback hit!" She should be thinking, "why the hell did I put that show on with me being as unlikable as I’ve been?" But I digress. Haddaway doing "Toxic" has trainwreck potential off the charts! I can hardly wait.

Tommy Tutone sort of fell into a monster novelty hit called "867-5309 Jenny" and quickly tried to distance himself from it, saying it didn’t really represent who he was as an artist. History tells us that there are few better ways to turn an audience off than to tell them they shouldn’t like what they like. But, off we were turned, and Tutone was disconnected. (Admit it, you dialed that number to see what would happen didn’t you? I know I did, I got a lady who was easily 170 years old and she was FED UP with the phone calls by the time I got to her. She answered the phone, both guns blazing. That was my last crank call. My hair remains curly to this day.)

A shockingly gray-haired Tommy confidently leads his band to center stage and rip into "867-5309 Jenny" with reasonable success. Not bad, but not wowed. Tommy says they will be doing Blink 182's "Small Things." (The name of the song is "All the Small Things," which seems to pretell doom when you can’t even get the name of the song you are singing right.)

Martha Davis and her band of hired guns, The Motels, managed a reasonable string of hits in the ‘80s, including their big smash "Only the Lonely." This led to one of the great albums of the ‘80s that no one heard, Shock. Martha Davis is another "band reunited" on VH1 and they seem to be a band that will stick, thankfully. Too much talent to be buried under a layer of dust.

Clearly, Martha has lost a few pounds since she her band was reunited. She slides into "Only the Lonely" like a comfortable pair of slippers, and the result is just as soothing. Great confidence and presence. I think they are my favorite so far. Martha says they will be doing Norah Jones’ "Don’t Know Why" as their modern hit. This is gonna be fun!

Vanilla Ice. Vanilla, Vanilla, Vanilla. His is a place in the annals of hip hop lore that no one, and I mean no one, wants to revisit. Oh yes, "Ice Ice Baby" was a big smash, but all that cocky posing and that haughty grin made him a target from day one. Vanilla Ice, who would be embarrassed by Arsenio Hall (of all people) on national television when Vanilla’s street cred as a young hoodlum was torn like gossamer when a stammering Ice admitted he’s actually from the suburbs and the son of a doctor.

Vanilla, who so cheekily swore that the "Ice Ice Baby’s" rhythm track was entirely different from "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie. An assertion so ridiculous, MTV uses that clip to great hilarity to this day. Vanilla, who was, perhaps urban mythically, held dangling by the ankles by the nefarious Shug Knight outside the windows of Death Row Records. (Why he would even be in the same zip code as Shug and Death Row remains a mystery as great the pyramids!)Vanilla, as Rob Van Winkle, who vowed to all who would hear him that he would never, ever, perform "Ice Ice Baby" again (not sure if he was holding a rutabaga at the time). Vanilla, who went into fits of rages on Surreal Life 2 when anyone tried to broach his rap career in anything but hushed and heralded tones. Vanilla, who ended up with a Reality TV Hall of Shame Moment for his behavior on that same show.

To his credit, Vanilla did it straight! For the anger and angst we’ve seen, he actually seemed pleased to perform "Ice Ice Baby," and he did it well! Sure, he’s the rap pariah, but there is no denying his showmanship. He can perform! In fact, if he can keep up this kind of grace, he may – just may – become the comeback story of all time! He says he’ll be performing "Survivor" by Destiny’s Child next. Statement song. No question.