Surreal Life 5, A Preview: When Balki Meets Oma

Surreal Life 4 pitted male supermodel against female supermodel, amazon woman wrestler against little person actor, ‘80s punk queen against ‘90s rap princess, and added a Brady for good measure. Will Surreal Life 5 live up to that standard of Celeb-reality?

MTV's reality TV pioneering recipe for “Real World” entertainment: take one house, a handful of strangers, a generous serving of cameras, and stir. VH1's “Surreal” world variation is to take one bizarre mansion, seven bizarre celebrities, and many bizarre tasks; add generous portions of alcohol, and set the blender to turbo.

How will this season's celebrities fare? When looking at last season's twists, it's hard to tell. To summarize Surreal Life 4: Mini Me got naked and peed in the corner of a room (a carpeted, non-restroom), one of the hottest women in America fell for Peter Brady, and a professional wrestler got falling down drunk.

How can Surreal Life 5 possibly top a feud between an ‘80s punk queen dominatrix lesbian and a has-been lady rapper who insists on projecting her slumping career on others?

Three words: Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth.

The only man who can go toe to toe with Omarosa's blame-deflecting circular logic is The Donald, and he won't be checking into the Surreal mansion.

Also with a reservation for the surreal is Bronson Pinchot. How completely opposite is the lovable Perfect Strangers character, Balki Bartokamous, from Omarosa's Apprentice “character,” Omarosa? That kind of clash makes for great reality TV.

Speaking of clashing, one celeb with experience managing egos of that magnitude is the self-proclaimed "first supermodel" Janice Dickinson. If she can handle dressing down those catty ladies on America's Next Top Model, she can handle being cooped up with just one.

There's no shortage of beautiful people in this Surreal setting; another fashion model will be gracing the mansion. UK glamour queen Caprice will be a constant reminder to Janice that her time in the sun has passed.

Adding an urban flavor is Sandy "Pepa" Denton, one third of the late ‘80s-early ‘90s all-female hip-hop group Salt-N-Pepa (everyone forgets Spinderella, the DJ). Carey Hart, motorcross star and all around hunk, rides in as resident number six.

Apparently these six celebs sit waiting for the Surreal Times (the Surreal Life take on the classic reality TV communication) to find out who their seventh roomie will be. Is it? Could it be? Yes! It's a washed up self-professed steroid abuser with a rap sheet that includes domestic violence and aggravated assault. Welcome to the family, Jose Canseco. Thank goodness Andy Dick is providing the security or there could be trouble!

Join the cast for the first episode of the season on July 10th at 9/8 Central on VH1. Then come on back to RealityNewsOnline to read Surreal recapper Toni Swats' take on the mayhem.

Toni is stranded in her ranch house in the middle of the Mohave Desert with nothing but her dogs, horses, cats, children and reality TV to keep her company. She can be reached with questions and comments at celebreality@starband.net.

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