Fire Me… Please! Season Finale: Sometimes It’s Hard Work Getting Fired

It’s the season finale of Fire Me... Please! There are two contests, but the first one is a repeat of the first battle of the season where Kurt’s antics at a coffee shop got him fired 64 seconds before the 3:00 deadline, while Katie managed to get her pink slip at 2:56. As it’s a repeat, it won’t be recapped, but you can read all about it right here .

The final battle of the season takes place in New Jersey, where Yaping Pizzo, a PR consultant from Seattle, Washington begins work at a pizza parlor. Her opponent is Rob Federhigi, a real estate broker from Chicago, Illinois, who begins work at a ski store. Both begin work at 9:45, and have the goal of getting fired as close to 3:00 as possible without going over. The winner receives $25,000.

Host Dave Holmes reviews the rules, which are pretty simple. Contestants can’t break the law, ask to be fired, or tell anybody they are on a hidden camera television show. Time to start work.

Yaping (who goes by the name Ping) arrives at work and meets her boss, Artoru’s Brick Oven Pizza. Her boss is Dan, who dislikes people who make the same mistake twice, makes sanitary conditions his highest priority, and hates people who eat behind the counter. Dan is already having trouble with the office door, but his day is about to get a whole lot worse. Ping offers to take the chairs off the tables, but slams them down so they make a maximum amount of noise. She then grabs her first soda of the day, then notices a ticket came in for a delivery pizza. She asks Dan if she should leave it on the counter. Once he agrees, she attaches it to the food prep table with chewing gum. Dan isn’t happy about it, but Ping tells him she didn’t want it to slip off. He asks her not to chew gum while working behind the counter.

Meanwhile, Rob arrives at Summit Ski and Sport, where he meets his co-workers, Sandy, Chris, and Laura, and his boss, Jack. Jack dislikes workers who aren’t team players, is annoyed by dingbats, but is slow to lose his temper. Rob starts by saying he doesn’t have much skiing experience, but Jack assures him that if he has a brain, he can learn the job. Chris starts by showing him the skis, but Rob can’t seem to grasp that skis are not sold by length. Chris tries to tell him about how skis shouldn’t go over the head of a customer, but Rob talks about how skis went over his head many times when he crashed on the slopes. Chris explains it again, and when called over by Jack, tells him that Dan is an idiot. Meanwhile, Sandy watches Rob as he smells a ski boot.

At 10:20 Ping meets her co-worker, Reeve, but can’t figure out how to pronounce her name. She then starts munching on cheese. Dan tells her not to do it. Ping helps herself to another piece, then dips in finger in the tomato sauce. Dan ask her about it, but a few minutes later Ping samples a plum tomato.

At the ski shop, Rob asks Chris if they fire people. Chris says they don’t, unless they do something stupid. Rob starts acting stupid, putting on a ski helmet, sunglasses, and shin guards - on his elbows. Jack asks him if he’s having a psychological evaluation today. Rob asks him if he’s fitting in, and Jack says he is - so far. Jack confides in Chris that Rob is either fitting in really well, or they have to get rid of him.

Back at the pizza parlor, Reeve answers the phone with “Bricks.” Ping is confused - she wants to know who Brook is. Dan explains she said “Bricks” which further confuses Ping. She thought the name was Ar-too-lah. It’s a big production for her to pronounce the name correctly. Once she has it down correctly, she welcomes the next customer to “All-two-oh” in her best Asian girl accent. She repeats the name mistake on the telephone.

11:15 Rob asks what the buckles on the goggles are used for. Chris explains they are to keep them on. Rob then asks about the “sticks” and Chris tells him they are poles. Rob then rubs various skis together, producing a squeaking noise. Laura wonders what he is doing. Chris says he’s a butthead, and Sandy thinks he probably holds chicken fights in his basement.

Dave Holmes tells us Rob is using a sniper strategy, picking off co-workers one by one. Chris and Sandy don’t like him. Meanwhile, Ping is eating her way down the pizza prep table - all the way to the sticky spot where she left her gum. It’s 11:30 - time for more work.

Rob’s latest fashion idea is to bind his knees together with elbow pads. Jack and Sandy wonder what that idiot is doing. Sandy can’t figure out why he was hired - he’s an idiot, and he doesn’t ski. They can use idiots who ski, but have no use for idiots who can’t. Meanwhile, Rob continues to play with elbow pads, this time binding his elbows together.

At 11:33 Dan wants to get Ping started on learning how to use the computer. Reeve attempts to train her, but Ping bangs away at the screen with the light pen. She’s told to use a lighter touch, but keeps banging away. Reeve tells her to put down her drink, as it’s not allowed when she’s behind the counter. Co-worker Emily looks on in disbelief as Ping starts belching. Ping helps herself to a drink again and starts chewing on something as well.

12:25 finds Rob trying on another set of sunglasses, as well as ski masks, hats, and socks - on his hands. Sandy whispers to Laura that he ought to be working for the post office - he’s scaring her. Chris thinks he’s a wacko. At 1:25 a customer approaches Rob, who is looking like a lunatic in his helmet and face gear. The customer asks if they have soccer equipment - probably as an excuse to get away from the nut case. Rob then does paperwork with Jack, writing with the socks on his hand. Jack tells him he might want to lose the get-up. Sandy is convinced he’s out of his mind.