Hooking Up, Episode 3: Hot and Cold

Previously on Hooking Up, we watched as Kelly and Steve grew closer, saw Amy dump Chris and move on to David, learned that Maryam will snuggle with you even if you are a man with a soft voice, and met the shoes that Cynthia wears when she has sex.

If you missed it, trust me; it was as much fun as it sounds. I just wonder if tonight’s episode can top it.

Before we begin, I’d like to give a shout-out to all the readers of RealityNewsOnline who have e-mailed me, and shared their dating stories and thoughts regarding Hooking Up. So far the consensus is that many of the women on the show are frightening and everyone is glad not to be a man dating online in New York City.

To begin, Amy tells us that she can’t decide if she’s going to have sex with David or not. It is their fourth date after all. She thinks that if she has sex with him, he will let his guard down and she’ll see the real him. I think that she’ll see the real David if they wait.

Maryam is going out with David (not Amy’s current date). She doesn’t think he is attractive, but feels he may be interesting. He has an enormous belt with his web site’s address on it (davidjr.com). Curiosity gets the best of me and I visit his web site. “Interesting” doesn’t even begin to describe it. Anyway, Maryam, who doesn’t seem to hold back on anything, asks him if he is crazy. He says that he can be. She says that she doesn’t feel a “I want to have sex with you spark.” I, on the other hand, am feeling a “I want to have a margarita spark.” Perhaps I should partake of libations while watching the show; it might make some of the women more tolerable. Maryam makes David do karaoke and he performs “Kiss.” He certainly is no Tom Jones, but he is a good sport about it. In case you missed his performance, you can catch it on his web site. He tells us that he thinks she is unique and interesting while she says she feels bad that she isn’t attracted to him.

Kelly is going jet skiing with Steve. She says it is going to be a romantic date. While they are relaxing, they talk about when to get offline and they decide to do it together.

David takes Amy salsa dancing. They appear to have fun, but from what I learned from Dancing with the Stars, the two are kissing way too much for the salsa. She invites him back to her place and says that if her cats like him, he can stay over with her. She asks what the big deal would be if they slept together since they are adults. Amy, the big deal is becoming pregnant to a man you don’t know very well, contracting a disease, or doing something that could harm future relationships.

When we return from a commercial break, Amy gets a message from David. She seems annoyed that he didn’t call sooner. She complains to her sister that his message said he wanted to shag. I had one last nerve left and Amy is now up it. After you sleep with someone for the first time, that’s all that is on your mind, so of course you want to do it again and again and again. If she didn’t expect this, then she shouldn’t have slept with him. I’m sure it would be alright with her if he had called sooner or if it was her idea to shag. OK, let us never use that term again.

Kelly and Steve are boating. They really seem comfortable with one another. She admits to not being used to the kind of money he has. She also says that she feels like Cinderella. He asks how that story ends and she explains that Cinderella gets the prince.

Maryam is out with Sam. She is surprised to find out that he stayed at a nudist colony once with three women. She also says that she doesn’t like “sex talk” with someone she doesn’t know well. That’s funny coming from someone who feels it is OK to ask someone if people think he is gay. If you are going to speak your mind, expect others to do the same.

Amy is giving David another chance, although she feels he isn’t looking for a relationship. He tells us that his trail mix represents each of the women he is dating; they are unique, they give him variety, and if he combines them, he has a meal. I’d like to add that if the tail mix assortments contain nuts, then they are like his dates because that is what you’d have to be to go out with him. Amy tells David on the telephone that they will not be having sex. He then expects to get dumped by her.