Hooking Up, Episode 5: All Good Things Must Come to an End

An insightful person once said that all good things must come to an end. Unfortunately, as life goes on, you learn how true that is. The last cookie is devoured, body parts sag, and reality TV programs reach their finales! We have reached the end of Hooking Up, and while some of the women drove me crazy with their dating antics, a part of me is sad that I won’t know what happens to them after this. Sniff. Seriously, as extreme as some of the ladies behaved form time to time, I give them props for taking a chance on love and using the Internet to find what we all desire… someone special.

Enough of that sentimental garbage! What happened last week?

• Amy and David called it quits. Amy also ended it with Matthew, except she chose to ignore him instead of telling him she didn’t want to see him again.
• Sonja became my new best friend as she maturely handled dating both Mitchell and Ken.
• Reisha decided she wasn’t ready to date Acie exclusively, so they stopped seeing each other.
• Kristin and Mike had an excellent first date. She deserved it after some of the dates she already had.

We begin the last episode with a cleavage shot. I have a feeling the show is going out with a bang!

First up is Christen, whom we are meeting for the first time. She just moved to New York, so she’s interested in meeting people. She says that dating in New York is competitive because there are so many beautiful people looking for love. She shouldn’t sell herself short though; she’s very cute.

On this particulate date, she is meeting Ryan. So far, she has no idea what he looks like. If I were Christen, I’d be a nervous wreck. Ryan tells us that he is drinking rum before the date in order to relax. Now we see him walking down the street with a mug. Classy. He explains various types of women to us, including the dinner whore who only wants to go out to dinner. When he finishes his drink, he puts his mug in a Dumpster.

As Christen spies him out the window of the restaurant where they are meeting, she begins to panic. He is wearing a jacket that is beyond description and white shoes. He tells us that she is decent and is hoping the alcohol loosens them up a little.

Sonja is going to Mitchell’s house for the first time. She isn’t seeing Ken anymore because he stopped pursuing her. She explains that she feels as though her relationship with Mitchell is progressing. As we see her walking to his place through the snow, we are treated to his singing a song about her not knowing his address.

Sometime after Sonja arrives at Mitchell’s apartment, they decide to go shopping for jewelry. He basically buys her a pre-engagement ring in order to see if the relationship will grow. I don’t know if it is the editing or Ryan’s rum, but I feel like I just missed something; things took a dramatic leap forward.

Speaking of Ryan, he’s now telling Christen that he once ran with a mouth full of toothpaste and basically foamed at the mouth. When he asks her if they will see each other again, she politely says they didn’t click. He agrees with her assessment. To us, he says she is lame. He then walks into the women’s room. She vows to never go out again with a guy who doesn’t share his picture first.

Kristin and Mike are going out again. She explains that he is ready to jump into a serious relationship. He talks about his soul and reading palms. Christen explains to us that she enjoys talking to our troops via e-mail and says that there are no guys like them in New York. I don’t think that is fair; there are wonderful men everywhere. It’s just a matter of meeting them.

Chrisen is now going out with Rob whom she describes as rugged and good looking. She also tells us about her 20-minute rule. Basically, she meets a guy for one drink, which should take about 20 minutes and nothing more unless the date goes well.

Rob says that he is excited to see her. He’s even OK with the short date. As the minutes tick away, Christen tells us that there is something missing; it’s that darn spark again. Rob must be on a different date because he’s interested in extending the date beyond 20 minutes.

Kristin is uncomfortable; Mike is all over her and she’s starting to feel smothered. He thinks the date went great though.

Christen’s date asks if she wants to go out again and she doesn’t say anything. He knows her answer though. At first, he seems to be very understanding, but then he tells her that she is free to go. She tries to pay for her drink, and he refers to it as a pity pay. Now he seems angry. That seals the deal for her.

We finally get to meet Shelly who is an opera singer and a comedian. She is going out with Anthony who says that Internet dating is like buying a car. Just don’t try to change the oil or adjust the headlights without the owner’s permission, if you know what I mean.

Anthony and Shelly joke on the telephone. He says that he is hoping for a kiss, but won’t sleep with a stranger. She wants to be able to order a man like Chinese food. Insert your own egg roll and Moo Shu Pork jokes here.

Sonja explains to us that Mitchell broke up with her because she wasn’t giving him enough emotional support. She also says that he gave her no indication that he was unhappy. This breaks my heart, but she seems like a very sweet, fun person, so I’m sure she’ll bounce back. Mitchell truly lost someone special.

Sonja visits a psychic who tell her that she needs to let go of attachments. He also says that when she walks into love’s house, she’ll know what to do and how to find love. Didn’t I basically say the same thing but for a lot less money?

Shelly and Anthony begin their date by talking about their careers and her chest. I usually save that for the second date. He says that he has reservations because he’s not the kind of guy to sleep with just anybody. She asks why he would respond to her profile since she basically says online that she is looking for something casual. He tells her that he has always been a male prude and he wants to be able to have meaningless sex but can’t. Then he jokes and says that if she gives him $4.75, he may change his mind.