Kill Reality, Episode 4: Trishelle’s Here! Run!

Before CBS announced the teams for the family-edition of Amazing Race, I was extremely leery over it because I didn’t want to see a bunch of eight- and nine-year-olds running through third-world countries. Then when they announced the teams, there is one team from Park Ridge, Illinois, where half of my family lives and another from Des Plaines, Illinois, where I lived for half my life. Now I’m excited. Also, Season Five of Amazing Race is on GSN now, where Reichen and his now-ex-husband Chip won. After watching a few episodes of that, I think they only beat Freddy and Kendra as worst Amazing Race winners ever. The blocking the doors at the train station? Come on. Now I’ll step off my soapbox and return to the filming future Academy Award winning movie The Scorned.

We start with Rob saying that Trish needed to take a picture but she didn’t want to take it. Basically, she’s being difficult for the sake of being difficult. Trish is upset because she wasn’t working today. Rob asks if it’s hard to take a picture. She says it’s not for her, but for the makeup people etc. Oh, that’s it. You don’t want to do it because you’re considerate of the staff, not because you’re a big diva. Right. Trish thinks Rob is confused about his role as producer and she thinks Rob likes to hear himself talk. You know, as much as I don’t like her right now, she’s better than Tonya, Jonny Fairplay, Jenna Lewis, and Steven. Stacie says that Trish isn’t a bad person, she just doesn’t take a lot of bull, and a lot of people in the cast are so immature. You can say that again.

Reichen tells Trish that he wants to play straight people, not gay people. He tells us that he has been trying to get work on a soap, but the excuse that is given to him is that women wouldn’t be able to make the switch and connect and fantasize about him because they know he’s gay. Part of me disagrees with that because there are enough desperate housewives out there who wouldn’t give a damn.

Tonya, Toni, and Jonny Fairplay (JFP) are in wardrobe when JFP comes out wearing Toni’s bikini (over his clothes, thank God.) Toni orders him to take it off or she’ll “beat the piss out of him.” Tonya realizes that she’s starting to itch. She is only allergic to cats, and of course, there is a cat in the dressing room. The question I ask is why. Tonya is breaking out in hives because of her allergic reaction. Toni isn’t sure how serious it is because she says Tonya takes things “WAY out of proportion.”

Tonya tells us that she and Reichen (her character’s love interest) are having a hard time connecting because he’s gay and she’s not very attached to men. Reichen tells us that they get blue eye drops put in their eyes, which constricts all of the blood vessels in their eyes so the whites of there eyes are more pronounced. Okay, eww. Why is this important? That just seems unnecessary to me.

Tonya and Reichen shoot their first scene. Tonya tells us that they have zero chemistry.

Toni is leaving. No! Not Toni! She has all of the best one-liners! She tells us that the only thing she regrets was acting like a prima dona in the beginning. She says she shouldn’t have cried so much.

JFP tells us that Jenna Morasca is coming to the house. Jenna M? Okay, I’m done being sad about Toni now. JFP tries to push her into the closet, and he says “You stay in there.” Jenna retorts, “That’s where Reichen is.” I’m glad I still have someone with good one-liners. She says that she is going to make sure there is some drama going on. She doesn’t want to be involved in it, but it’s really boring when there is no drama.

JFP tells of Jenna L. and Steven’s relationship. Steven tells us that they’re dating. That’s enough of that.

Josh gets a call from Tonya saying that she’s sick. Tonya? Sick? Say it with me everybody: Kidney stones and kidney stones and kidney stones… Tonya has a reaction to something from those gross blue eye drops. They put her under a black light thing and her eye lids have some neon-green color on them. Now that’s nasty. She has chemical conjunctivitis. They give her a shot for the nausea and another for migraines.

JFP says that because Tonya’s under the weather, “she probably won’t be able to drink tonight… yeah right!” Steven tells us that she is a registered nurse and she would know that when one drinks while on antibiotics it voids what they do to one’s system. Steven: “Is that the kind of nurse you want?” No, but ever since I saw her throw Beth’s clothes in the pool on Inferno 2, I haven’t wanted to be in a five mile radius of Tonya.

Reichen bitches about Tonya not being able to shoot the next day because she will still be ill. Can this guy do anything but whine?

JFP, Steven, and Reichen shoot a scene. In the scene JFP has to say the word f***, which Reichen doesn’t approve of. JFP tries to defend it as DQ (the character) not being too smart. JFP says that he feels horrible and he takes responsibility. JFP talks to Rob about it and Rob says that they changed it in the script already and JFP ad libbed.

Josh has to take Tonya back to the hospital. She doesn’t want him to. He does. Moving on.