Battle of the Network Reality Stars, Episode 2: Mystery Guests

Previously, 32 of your favorite reality TV personalities came together to play Battle of the Network Reality Stars. Jonathan Baker showed that he’s never going to change, although his team did win the day’s competition. Kim, Charla, and Heidi were all voted off of their team, but in a twist, were allowed to stay, with Charla and Heidi switching teams and Kim returning to her team that already missed her. Where to we go from here? Hold on to your seat – you’re about to find out!

Last week, I confused even myself with the way I was trying to abbreviate the teams. Therefore, this week, I’ll just be calling them Team Coral, Team Miz, Team Gervase and Team Chip. Believe me, it’s easier on everyone! Our host, Mike Adamle welcomes us again. It’s time for week two, and our 32 contestants will be playing three games: Simon Says, Dodge Ball and the Swim Relay. Today, two players from the lowest scoring team will be sent home. The four teams convene in the locker room to decide who will compete in which events.

Team Gervase is up first. To remind you, this team consists of Brittany, Mike Boogie, Tina Fabulous, Jonathan, Victoria, Wendy Pepper, Chris Russo, and of course, Gervase. Jonathan once again jumps on every competition claiming to be the best at everything. Gervase just wants to know who can swim well, while Brittany laments to the camera that she’s happy Jonathan isn’t their team captain, because he’s a little high strung. Um, Brittany, you’re not exactly known for being the most calming person. Jonathan is a little high strung though, and goes on this rant that makes him look crazier than I already think he is.

Team Miz is up next, and it consists of Mike (The Miz), Bradford, Richard Hatch, Ryan Starr, Mirna, Heidi, Valerie Penso, and Burton Roberts. Mike says that Mirna is going on this rant and is being miserable because she thinks she is the next to go. He tells the camera that she has nothing to worry about as long as she does well. Sounds fair! Team Coral is also strategizing. Her team consists of Will Wikle, Coral, Duncan Nutter, Adam, Evan Marriott, Rachel Love Fraser, Melissa, and Charla. They do some Dodge Ball practice and Charla tells the camera that she loves her new team, and she even volunteers to compete in the Swim Relay.

Finally, we see Team Chip. His team consists of Matt Gould, Sue Hawk, Dr. Will, Chip’s wife Kim, Nikki, Theo, and Brian Worth. Nikki tells the others what her strategy for Dodge Ball would be and Theo goes on a rant on how Sue is a trucker and everyone on his team wants to win. Where the hell did that even come from? Of course, Trishelle, Omarosa, and Bob Guiney are back to help on the sidelines.

Simon Says is the first event for today. Each team will have six of their players in the game. First place will win 100 points, 75 to second, 50 to third and last place will receive 25 points because it’s their pity prize. The important thing to remember is that each player on the winning team of the show will receive $10,000, and you know how greedy these people are! Bob Guiney has a talk with The Miz before Simon Says starts, and Simon Says him into the Macarena. It’s actually kind of “cute” if you want to use that word.

Before the event begins, Gervase and Tina Fabulous both think they will do well, while Matt Gould admits that he has issues paying attention to things. Melissa claims to be a Simon Says champ. Enter Jimmy Walker (JJ from Good Times), who will be a special referee for the competition. In comes their Simon, and Victoria is the first on eliminated when the game begins. Off they go, and Chris Russo and Wendy Pepper are close behind. Next goes Mirna, and it seems like Adam got away with something. Dr. Will adds comments, and is entertaining as usual. Bradford is the next out, followed by Melissa, who Jimmy Walker actually carries off the field. She’s bitter and upset, and blames everyone but herself. Those are her words, and I totally respect that.

Rachel is the next one eliminated, followed by Coral, Heidi, Gervase, and Mike Boogie, which means Team Gervase is finished. We continue on and Adam continues to mess up but not be eliminated. Theo and Matt aren’t happy about this, as they are eliminated. Next out are Sue and The Miz, and finally, Adam gets the ax as well. Team Coral is now left without any players. Kim is the next one gone, leaving Nikki as the only person left for Team Chip. Valerie goes out next and it looks like Nikki slipped, but nobody catches it. Jimmy Walker tells the eliminated contestants to shut up. I love it! It’s Nikki v. Rich. Simon tells them to show each other the goods. Nikki tries to do a sexy walk, while Rich just moons her. How predictable and classless, just like him. Nikki does eventually get eliminated and Team Miz wins. Team Chip gets second and Team Coral is third. Team Gervase comes in last. Omarosa talks with Richard and his team, and he tells her that he showed Nikki the goods, and it’s all about the team. Then in typical Rich fashion, when his team walks away, he goes back to Omarosa and tells her that “Yeah right, it’s all about the team!” Like I said – typical.

Dodge Ball is next, and Coral says there is no strategy, just as we see the other teams talking strategy. Everyone knows who the power players will be – The Miz, Rich, Evan, Theo, etc. It will be Team coral vs. Team Gervase and Team Miz vs. Team Chip. Winners will meet in the final. There will be six balls in play. If a player gets hit by a ball, they’re out. If a player catches a ball, the person who threw it is out, and someone from their team comes back in. We only get to see some highlights from round one, and it’s a close one between Team Gervase and Team Coral, but team Coral comes out on top. Team Miz vs. Team Chip is the second match, which we also only see very little of, but to keep it short, Team Chip comes out on top, which surprises me. Trishelle talks to Evan Marriott and asks him about his dating life. He says it’s been off and on since the show. She asks him who he wanted to meet on the challenge and he admits to not watching TV or even knowing who she was. Well, that’s good. The less you know about Trishelle, the better!

It’s time for the final match. Theo tells the camera that Nikki looks like she is in withdrawal for something. She does look a little cracked out. Adam says he never underestimates an Average Joe, so he’s keeping his eye on Brian Worth. Off they go, and Will is the first one out, followed by Evan. Everyone is all over the place, and Team Coral begins to fall apart. However, they have a mini-comeback thanks to Adam, but it doesn’t last long. Team Chip comes out on top, while Team Coral is second. There was a consolation match, which Team Gervase won over Team Miz. So right now, Team Chip is in first, Team Miz and Team Coral are tied for second, while Team Gervase is in last. On a side note, Theo credits himself for doing so well in Dodge Ball because he grew up in a family with “a lot of balls.” I can only imagine.