Kill Reality, Episode 6: The Saving Grace

The sixth episode begins with Rob saying that when the two Jennas get together it turns into prank time. Oh goody. But I know that these two won’t do anything like Jonny Fairplay’s (JFP) upper decker. The Jennas decide to pull a prank on Tonya. They take a few of her laxatives and crush them together into a powder and put them in her drink. Jenna M. says that it isn’t illegal, which Jenna L. assures her of. I’m not sure, but since it’s Tonya I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. Jenna L. says that she is fed up with Tonya’s games. They put it in some of her wine which is a sure bet beverage for Tonya. They talk to Rob in the kitchen and Erika from Big Brother 4 is in there too. We don’t know why and we never find out. Rob doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Jenna L. tells us that giving someone six colon cleansers may be considered drugging them so maybe she shouldn’t have done it, and she didn’t! She threw the wine down the sink.

Tonya tells us that she is used to living with women who don’t like her. Maybe that’s because you’re a lunatic bitch. Still on a quest to prank Tonya, Jenna L. tells Trishelle and Jenna M. that they should switch her birth control pills with something else. Jenna M. is shocked, saying that that may be pushing it. Um, yeah.

JFP says that Jenna M. is one of his best friends. She tells him and Tonya that he hasn’t talked about any girl like he does her. Tonya says in an interview that she needs a grown ass man in her life. Obviously not JFP. Tonya says that they hooked up. They never once defined a relationship.

Trishelle tells us that Katie Doyle, her former roommate and cast member on Road Rules: The Quest among various Real World/Road Rules Challenges is coming to the house because she is filming the next day. Rob says she’s the brunette Tonya. Katie says that she and Tonya don’t get along. JFP says that they don’t get along because they slept with the same guy(s), him being one. Trishelle wants to just sit back and watch the hair fly, and thinks that Katie will be a huge distraction from Tonya.

Jenna L., always looking ahead, notes that she actually made cards that said “Round 1,” “Round 2,” and all the way up to four because she didn’t think it would get past four. Tonya tries to leave immediately when she hears Katie talking about her, but JFP comes to get her. She doesn’t want to stay just to fight. She gives him an ultimatum of going with her or staying with Katie, but she eventually leaves alone.

He tells this to a drunken Katie who tells him that she cares. Or she doesn’t. But she does. I don’t know, a drunken Katie is hard to comprehend. JFP says that she likes to party more than he does, and too much probably. We see her belch, chug, and belch again. Katie tells Trishelle that she is amused by Tonya. Then she goes to JFP and asks if she always wins over Tonya.

Trishelle raves about Tonya, saying that she is a classy girl. Cut to a shot of Katie sticking her tongue out at JFP. Trishelle says she is intelligent. Cut to a shot of Katie trying to pour beer on JFP’s head. Trishelle says she is smart. Cut to a shot of Katie falling over a bush. Trishelle says that Katie is a good person and she wants JFP to see it. Then Katie slaps him in the face. He asks her not to slap her. He says she isn’t her target, which she says he so is. Katie goes and slaps him more. He asks her again not to slap him and she slurs, “Don’t tell me what to do because I do what I want. Always. I do what I want.” JFP says that if it were any other person he’d hit her back, “I don’t hit girls, but I’ll hit an @$$****.” Katie doesn’t think she’s being mean to him.

Katie: “Stop acting like I’m being a bitch”

Finally, something little easier to watch. Jenna M. is shooting her first scene. Remember people, Jenna M. is one of the two normal people here, and she’s dating the other normal one. She tells us that her role is a drunken slut and that all she has to do is live in the house to pull for her character! She compares her part to Drew Barrymore in Scream because she only had a few lines in the beginning then she was killed off. Jenna tells us that you shouldn’t care if you have five hundred lines or five lines, you should just be happy that you have lines. Wow. Something rational said on this show. It finally has happened people.

Steven says that she plays a perfect drunk, slutty girl. Jenna says it isn’t the best acting she could do because she doesn’t have any coaching or anything but she hopes it’s the best job.

Back at the house, Trishelle wants Hammered Katie to take Tonya’s bed. Instead, Katie pours whatever she can find in the bed. She then wants him to say something mean about Tonya.

In the morning JFP shares an intimate detail with Trishelle about Katie regarding “mutual respect” with “reciprocation.” Read into it a little. Wait, don’t. Then you may visualize it and that’s not good.

The next day starts and there is a beach scene. Most of the cast has to be there, along with other people. Katie, Lori Valenti, and Diane Henry from Big Brother 5 and Jonathan Baker and Victoria Fuller from Amazing Race 6 are there. (Seeing Jonathan fall on his ass in Battle of the Network Reality Stars was one of the funniest things I’ve seen on television in a long time. It just brought me a lot of joy.) Rob says that JFP and Kate decided not to show up. Trish asks the two if they should be on set.

There has to be two pro surf pros as stunt doubles. Reichen says that he has a hot stunt double who is very straight, “but nobody’s perfect.” Diane and Lori introduce themselves. They have to be two hot chicks in bikinis who get hit on by JFP.