Battle of the Network Reality Stars, Episode 5: The Dominant Team

Last week, each of the remaining teams had to vote off two members. However, it turned out that these voted out members ended up forming a new team – team Underdog. They were ready to win. During last week’s show, the team that came in last for the week was going to be eliminated. In a tense multi-legged race, it was team Coral that bit the dust. Team Underdog lived to see another day.

Mike Adamle welcomes us as usual. He reminds us of the old days and who competed on the first Battle of the Network Stars. He also reminds the viewers that team Coral is gone, leaving only teams Chip, Miz, and Underdog. Each person on the winning team will win $10,000 along with other fun prizes. I hope he’s not including last week’s prize of the Hootie and The Blowfish concert, although I was emailed by several of you saying that Hootie just released a new album last month. Good for him! Today’s events will consist of a roller skating derby, pool high jump, and a kayak race. Omarosa, Rob Guiney, and Trishelle are here to report from the sidelines as usual.

We begin in the locker room. Team Miz talks about getting rid of team Chip before team Underdog, since team Chip is their main competition. If you don’t remember, since the teams change all the time on this show, team Miz consists of Richard Hatch, Ryan Starr, Heidi, Valerie, Burton, and Miz. Ryan boasts about her skating capabilities, while Miz feels that his team is strong at everything. Burton thinks that it’s their day.

Team Chip talks in their locker room as well. Will says they will do the best they can do today, in order to get to the finals, while Theo just doesn’t want anyone to freak out. Team Chip has Matt Gould, Sue Hawk, Dr. Will, Chip & Kim, and Theo. Chip talks about being a cohesive group, but Theo just thinks that Chip has control issues and is delusional. Uh-oh, I sense some dissention among the ranks. Theo also talks about Ryan Starr and says he’s had more meaningful conversations with a waffle, then goes on to compare her to talking to country breakfast. It’s quite funny, and very true – Ryan is not fun to watch or listen to.

Finally, we see team Underdog, which includes Nikki, Brian Worth, Rachel Love Fraser, Bradford, Mirna, and Adam. Bradford is happy with his team and Brian thinks they will do well today. Mirna says her old team never gave her or Charla a chance, and she’s ready to do well now, and has a great attitude. I guess we’ll see about that.

The roller skate derby is first tonight. Four people from each team will race, each doing two laps. They must maneuver their position and face obstacles on the track. Richard has faith in his team and thinks he’ll do well. Chip starts to practice and ends up hurting himself. Dr. Will is going to have to sub and doesn’t look too happy about it. Matt, Kim, Dr. Will, and Sue will race for team Chip. Team Underdog will race Adam, Rachel, Brian, and Nikki. Team Miz has Burton, Valerie, Richard, and Ryan racing. Ryan is talking up her skills and isn’t shutting up. In comes Loretta Swit, a participant from back in the old days, to start the race. I wonder how much they paid this woman to come crawling out of obscurity to do this. It’s sad, actually.

Off they go. Adam takes the early lead while Matt takes a tumble. After the first lap everyone is in control and Burton is leading. Matt is still falling and Rachel is now out there with Kim. Kim is losing ground though. Brian Worth is out next for the Underdogs, but is not good at all. Richard manages to pass, while Dr. Will passes Brian. Ryan Starr is finally out there and is all over the place. Sue is also now completing the race for team Chip. Ryan ends up taking a dive while boasting how easy it is (GOOD!), but she manages to get herself together and win the race. Sue rolls in second, and Nikki McKibbin, who was making up tons of ground, has to settle for last. That sucks because she actually was REALLY good!

Team Miz is awarded 100 points, 75 to team Chip, and 50 for team Underdog. Omarosa talks to Richard and he says he was just happy he stayed up. Ryan admits to taking a dive, but then starts bragging about how great she is. I’m so over this girl. Team Chip talks to Trishelle and Matt basically admits to falling all over the place and screwing his team up. Trishelle notes that Sue and Dr. Will brought it home. Nikki comments to the camera that she’s upset that she didn’t get to shine, but they have to win and lose as a team. She’s not as annoying as she was last week – at least not yet. Maybe she’s not cracked out.

It’s now time for the super high jump. Each team will have four jumpers. The bar starts at the three foot mark, and teams can move it up in one foot increments. The team with the highest total height will win. Mirna says that people talk big (pan images of Miz, Burton, and Ryan), but her team has meaning. Miz isn’t scared and is ready for this.

Sue, Ryan, and Nikki jump first for their teams and each is able to clear three feet. None of them can clear four feet, so that’s the end of round one. We take a quick break and Omarosa talks to Dr. Will. He says that besides still being a dermatologist, he’s a restaurateur with Mike Boogie. Omarosa notes that Dr. Will is single while Will relishes in the fact, and she also mentions that he’s confident and a great doctor. Will clears four feet on his first jump while Burton does six. Adam, in a Speedo, clears four feet as well. I never want to see him in a Speedo again. Each of these guys misses their second jump.