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The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, Weekly Performance Appraisal, Week 12: Talk to Me!by William Ingram -- 12/19/2005
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Talking in rhymes
Twisting round to think
You're straight down the line”
-- “Talk Talk,” Talk Talk, 1982
Welcome to the weekly (some might say “weakly”) evaluation of the contestants on Apprentice Martha Stewart. Each week, I will look at each remaining contestant and give my appraisal of his or her performance. Some of them will shine like stars and others will flicker like fluorescent lights down at the warehouse.
This week, we started off with the final three contestants. They were interviewed by four of Martha’s most respected colleagues. Unfortunately for the viewers at home, we really didn’t get to see much of the interviews. Instead, we got to see the conference where Martha heard the evaluations. So we only got second-hand information.
Bethenny: Alas, you seemed to get pretty flustered during your interviews. Yet you did seem to manage to display a lot of energy. Jonathan thought that you’d fit in well in any division of the company.
Unfortunately, if you read between the lines, what he really meant was that you were not likely to stand out in any one field. The rest of them said that, perhaps, you cannot focus properly on any one task.
Fortunately for you, this was Jim’s week to go.
Jim: Well, you had a rough start, speaking to Jonathan. You were at a loss for words, which is a look I’ve never seen on you before. Then Susan asked you what you regret. Again, you had very little to say. Susan also pointed out the major problem with your strategy, and that is that you spilled the beans and told the whole world your plan.
And, of course, you put your foot in your mouth again when you started a sentence by saying you were the worst candidate to work for Martha Stewart. And the interviewers pointed out that you were a loose cannon and would take an enormous amount of time and energy to teach and supervise.
You did have a good comeback to Martha’s accusation that you played this game like a game. Life is a game. Personally, I’ve always known that and I was glad to hear someone say it on TV. Everything in life needs to be looked at from a strategy point of view. If I do that, what are my chances that this will then work? If I get on a plane, I have a one-in-a-million chance of being killed, but if I get in a car, I have a one-in-10,000 chance of being killed. And so on.
Unfortunately, one of the key elements in a good game strategy is to keep your strategy a secret until no one can stop you. You spilled your secret way too early and your opponents were able to develop a counter-strategy before it was too late. Check and mate.
I did notice that your tactics were flustering Martha even as she was trying to fire you. The editors did a very poor job rerecording and dubbing over Martha’s voice so that she sounded like she was saying a bunch of clever things to Jim at the end. Rewind your tape and watch. Whenever Martha said something clever, the camera switched to Jim’s face and then the sound of Martha’s voice changed, as if she were recording it at a later time.
Dawna: Apparently, you came off to the interviewers as an off-the-rack candidate. Fortunately, some of the interviewers were impressed with an off-the-rack Apprentice and off-the-rack answers. You might be in luck that Martha is looking for a standard and normal person to be her Apprentice.
This week will be a shortened evaluation process because the firing took place halfway through the episode. I will start compiling notes for the remaining two candidates and include them in the final evaluation next week.
Now, the two of you, get the hell out of my office. I’ve got real work to do. I’ll call you both in for the final performance review next week.
If you haven’t already, be sure to check out our Apprentice: Martha Stewart Episode 12 recap:
Bill (email@example.com) is a huge reality show fan. His often wears his Survivor dog tags. He’s wearing a set of Guatemala tags right now, as a matter of fact.
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