Dancing with the Stars 2, January 6: Master of Disaster

Filler: A substance added to a product (as to increase bulk, weight, viscosity, opacity, or strength)

Previously on Dancing with the Stars, most of the celebrities danced, a few stood around awkwardly, and the judges argued. Kenny Mayne and P Miller were at the bottom of the rankings, and the Foxes On Idol judges predicted one of them would leave. Tonight, which one of our celebrities will be eliminated from the competition? We’ll find out… but not before we get our share of filler.

Cut to various shots of our couples dancing the previous evening. We get some confessional discussion, most of which isn’t very enlightening. However, there is some obvious tension in the Master P camp, as Ashly says it needs to be equal teamwork, not a tug of war. P says he won’t change for the judges, he will continue to be himself.

Before going further, we are reminded of the rankings:

Kenny Mayne and P Miller give us their philosophies on the competition. Where’s Yoko (my dog and stress-relief, for those readers who are here for the first time) when I need her? Kenny says he wasn’t listening to Bruno’s criticism because he was concentrating on next week’s quickstep. Kenny’s an optimistic guy. He also jokes that his daughter was listening at home and she cried, saying her daddy isn’t a “four,” the judge is!

As for Master P, he now says (in contrast to the confessional we just saw) that Ashly is a drill sergeant and he’ll let her do her thing while he gives it his best.

Some of the pros who were around in the first season and are back again this season share their thoughts on losing. Surprisingly, they don’t like it. What a shocker! Drew, Lisa, and Jerry similarly say they want to continue. Quite a big “duh” moment here.

Our professional dancers demonstrate next week’s dances… the quickstep and the rhumba. I have to admit that I like this concept; show us what the dances look like before our celebrities execute them. It will make judging the performances a lot easier.

Head judge Len briefly addresses the contestants, saying that Drew, Jerry, and Tatum did great jobs, but P has “a fantastic partner” in Ashly and needs to listen to her. Then another professional team dances a foxtrot to the music of Burt Bacharach. See the definition of “filler,” above.

Finally, it is time to reveal who will remain in the competition (in no particular order). If you want to make this more like the show, take about 30 seconds between reading each line:

Lisa Rinna and Louis van Amstel – Good for them; I was a bit worried because I enjoyed their performance more than the judges did.

Stacy Keibler and Tony Dovolani

Cheryl Burke and Drew Lachey

Giselle Fernandez and Jonathan Roberts

Anna Trebunskaya and Jerry Rice

Tatum O’Neal and Nick Kosovich

Ashly DelGrosso and P. Miller – What? P made it through to the next round? I guess some people appreciated his gangsta cha cha cha more than I did.

Edyta Sliwinska and George Hamilton

We’re down to our final two couples. Can you feel the tension? The final votes have been tallied… Tia Carrere and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are safe, which means that Andrea Hale and Kenny Mayne are the first dancers to be eliminated from the competition.

I can’t say I am completely surprised. Kenny really didn’t seem to take the competition seriously. When someone wants to wow you with humor instead of ability, he doesn’t really stand a chance. I am surprised that Tia and Maksim ranked as low as they did, especially given that they ended the night four places higher than P, which means they really didn’t get many viewer votes. I thought their performance the previous evening was beautifully executed. I can’t help but wonder if this will be more of a popularity contest than an actual dance competition.

After the obligatory reassurances of talent and comforting goodbyes, the show comes to a close. Kenny tries to get in some closing jokes, but alas, time is up. Remember to tune in next Thursday and Friday for the performance and results shows. And as always, turn to RealityNewsOnline for Dancing with the Stars recaps, highlights, and witty commentary.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at jilljones@verizon.net.

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