Surviving Exile Island, Episode 2: Psychotic Detox

Last week, on the first episode of Survivor: Panama – Exile Island, we saw that Tina question what show Cirie thought she signed up for, as Cirie was afraid of practically everything outdoors. Tina, however, should have asked the same question of herself because, as she told me in an interview Friday, she never tried to form alliances with her tribemates. Cirie understood the social aspects of the game, Tina understood only survival. If we put ‘em together, we might have a great player! Instead, they opposed each other and survival lost out to the better Survivor.

This week begins with a thunderstorm that is drenching the older men on night three. They are trying to hide under their shelter, but it isn’t giving them much, well, shelter. Shane informs us that the canopy for their shelter wasn’t completely built so they tried to rush it, but obviously it isn’t holding up – the rain is coming in from the other side. He describes it as bad luck and says, “This place breeds bad luck” – at which point a lightning bolt apparently hits nearby and a branch is knocked into him or the cameraman falls or something, it’s really not quite clear, but it is oh-so-timely.

Over at the younger men, the guys are even more soaked, if that’s possible, and trying to cover themselves with various items of clothing. One of them is smart enough to realize that rainwater is pure and drinks it as it comes through the roof.

The next morning, we visit the three remaining older women, where Cirie and the other two are trying to build a fire. Hey, I bet it would have been a lot easier for Tina! The younger women, meanwhile, are knocking down fruit with a big stick. They describe it as “almost orgasmicly wonderful,” and the looks on their faces say they aren’t faking.

Back to the older men again, and Shane is telling us what he misses – his kid, especially. He doesn’t know why he signed up for Survivor. They’ll have more than enough money, so why stay away from his son for so long? His time in Panama is the opposite of the way he lives his life. At home, he’s fast-paced and frenetic, “psycho-boy.” Here there is “nothing to do” and what there is, is “monotonous.”

Here’s something that will break the monotony – a reward challenge! At least, that’s the presumption, I think. There are 15 discs on the ground, and host Jeff Probst has all the men stand on the light discs and women on the dark ones. He then has them flip over the discs to find that two of them have buffs under them. Terry gets one and Danielle gets the other.

“Four tribes are about to become two tribes,” says Probst. Well, that was fast! We didn’t even really ever get to know the tribe names! Speaking of tribe names, Terry heads La Mina while Danielle picks for Casaya. The contestants are, to say the least, shocked as such a quick turn of events.

As in past pick-‘ems, a man must pick a woman and a woman must pick a man. Danielle begins by picking “the cool guy with the Boston tattoo” – that would be Shane, who is happy to be referred to in such a manner. Terry picks “green sweats,” otherwise known as Sally. Shane goes for Courtney, Sally picks Austin. Courtney goes for Aras, while Austin picks Misty. Aras chooses Cirie and Misty picks Nick. Cirie goes with Bobby, Nick gets Ruth-Marie. Bobby automatically gets Melinda. Ruth-Marie has a choice between Dan and Bruce. Probst says she is picking the last tribe member and telling the other man that “nobody wants ‘em.” He doesn’t actually say they’re going home, but I believe that is the impression he’s trying to give. I don’t believe it for a minute. She picks Dan, which keeps him together with secret ally Terry.

So the tribes are now as follows: La Mina has Terry, Dan, Sally, Austin, Misty, Nick, and Ruth-Marie. Casaya has Danielle, Shane, Courtney, Aras, Cirie, Bobby, and Melinda.

Probst asks Bruce how tough it would be to go home after just four days. He says he would be really disappointed because he came to win. Probst says not only is Bruce not going home, he is the only one guaranteed to be safe at the next Tribal Council. Bruce celebrates. But he might not be celebrating so much when he hears that the reason he’ll be safe is because he’ll be spending the next three days on Exile Island. He’ll return at the next Tribal Council, where he will sit in and listen. After they’ve voted somebody out, he will replace them and be back in the game. Of course, he can also spend the three days searching for the hidden immunity idol that may or may not still be there.

Bruce says he’s ready for it and heads to a boat. There will be flint waiting for him so he can make a fire. As he leaves, the others applaud and wish him luck.

Now it’s finally time for the reward challenge. They will race through an obstacle course, collecting six wooden snakes along the way (no, that’s not a typo for “stakes,” they really are wooden snakes). One member of each tribe must carry all six throughout the course. On “go,” they hit the first station and collect the first two snakes. Then they have to crawl under a fence and over a twelve-foot A-frame wall. Back under a crawl and get two more snakes. Then it’s over a ladder bridge – if they fall, they have to restart it. The last phase is through water and into a pit of leaves, where the other two snakes are hidden. First tribe across the finish line with all six snakes wins.

And what do they win? I’m glad you asked. Fishing gear! Looks like they get a mask, snorkel, Hawaiian sling, hooks, line, etc. And at camp they will find a raft with four paddles.

Nick and Courtney will hold the snakes for their respective tribes. And they’re off! Up they go to untie the snakes at the first stop. Both snakes get their snakes quickly, with La Mina taking a slight lead. By the time they get to the A-frame they’re dead even, but La Mina gets ahead a bit again by the time they’re over.

It’s still close under the crawl, with Casaya just a few seconds behind. At the ladder, Shane falls off but La Mina makes it across fairly easily. Casaya continues to be just a few seconds behind. It’s time to dig in the leaves. Terry finds one for La Mina, Casaya again is close behind. Dan finds the sixth for La Mina and they rush to the finish line for the win – good thing they picked Dan!