Skating With Celebrities, Episode 5: Supply and Demand

Last night, the Olympics showed us all of what figure skating could be – Russia’s Tatiana Totmianina and Maxim Marinin fulfilled their destiny as the best pairs skaters in the world, and China’s Zhang Dan showed us that a ton of guts can be found in an 85 pound body. Dan and her partner, Zhang Hao were trying a preposterous throw quadruple sauchow and Dan seemed to land entirely on one knee. One knee absorbing all that weight and momentum. For a heart-wrenching moment it looked like she wouldn’t – couldn’t – continue. Yet, inexplicably, she did continue, delivering a highly difficult program with astonishing ability. Those guts led to a silver medal.

Could Skating With Celebrities measure up to that kind of drama?

Scott Hamilton and Summer Sanders are on hand for a “wild night.” Only three teams are left! The elimination process will be different tonight. All three pairs will skate as usual. The team with the highest score goes immediately to the finals. The other two teams will be in a virtual skate-off, each skating to a half of the same song. However, the judges will not score the skate-off. They will simply state which team they believe is most worthy. Sounds dramatic, huh?

The teams have to demonstrate a glide with a change of edge, side by side jumps, and a spin of at least three revolutions. The music theme is Judges’ Choice.

Kicking it off are Jillian Barberie and John Zimmerman. Jolted by John’s comments last week, Jillian and John have doubled their ice time. Besides contending with a brutal schedule, Jillian’s got some tough injuries to deal with. The practices have not been good.

Skating to Third Eye Blind’s “Semi-Charmed Life,” Jillian demonstrates once again that that the security of her stroking and her edge are clearly superior to any other celebrity’s. She does on a one-leg spin with decent stretch, the waltz jumps are spot on, and her glide is brilliant. I have not a single complaint! Scott says it’s the most aggressive skate he’s seen so far. I’m guessing the finals is already on their itinerary, but let’s see what the sitting judges have to say.

Mark says they were very hot last time, but this time, he is only semi-charmed. He says they showed very little variety; same jump, same lift as last week. Dorothy congratulates them on their ambition and can’t find anything bad to say. John says they were musical and smooth, a choreographic gem. He couldn’t find a mistake, however, he didn’t find much difficulty in their program. He notes that the competition is doing death spirals, one hand lifts, but John and Jillian aren’t doing any of that. He makes a good point!

Technical scores: John 9.1, Dorothy 9.3, Mark 9.2 = 27.6
Artistic impression scores: John 9.3, Dorothy 9.3, Mark 9.2 = 27.8
Their total is 55.4

Bruce Jenner and Tai Babilonia realize they were perilously close to elimination last week. This week, they are given a faster rhythm to skate. Tai says she thinks the judges are telling them they want to see more power. She is determined not to let Bruce down. Bruce says they have beaten the other two teams before, and they can again.

Bruce and Tai skate to Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ’69 ” (when Bryan was four. That always bugged me about that song!) and it looks like a couple of 69 year olds were skating. Frustratingly, Bruce and Tai skate at the same speed they always have, despite the faster tempo of the song. The best part is the waltz jump sequence, very solid. The worst part is the glide is done by Tai, not Bruce, and his inability to lift her off the ice is so obvious after seeing Jillian and John. They just look old and slow, not what they wanted to convey.

John says Bruce looked a little more secure, and they interpreted the music together. But, Tai is doing all the work, and his mark will reflect that. Mark thinks the tempo change was good, but there was a lack of choreography. Dorothy says Bruce is doing middle-aged America proud and thinks they were skating faster and more powerfully. (I guess she’s closer to them than I am!)

Technical scores: John 8.9, Dorothy 9.2, Mark 9.0 = 27.1
Artistic impression scores: John 9.0, Dorothy 9.2, Mark 9.1 = 27.3
Their total is 54.4

That means Tai and Bruce will have to skate in the skate-off. Bruce says they figured that was how things would go and they are ready for it! We’ll see.

Last week, Kristy and Lloyd delivered a solid performance and all those ups and downs they experienced have made them closer. Lloyd thinks Kristy is as fearless as he is and that’s huge for him. They plan on giving all they have for this one.

For a change, Kristy and Lloyd are given a slower song to skate – Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be.” It is an amazing performance. They start with a carry hold, but with some nice position changes from Kristy. Good waltz jump sequence, excellent unison. The only oopsie is in their last lift. Lloyd flips Kristy into position on his back, and she looks a bit wild up there at first, but quickly settles herself into place. This is definitely their most expressive skate, and Jillian and John might want to hold off on booking those tickets to the finals!

Dorothy says the connection was there. It was hot, sexy, and seamless. She loved it. Mark says their performance absolutely inspired him. John says he was impressed with Kristy’s spirals (they were excellent), and he appreciates Lloyd’s strong, athletic approach.

Technical scores: John 9.5, Dorothy 9.5, Mark 9.8 = 28.8
Artistic impression scores: John 9.8, Dorothy 9.6, Mark 9.8 = 29.2
Their total is 58.0

Wow! Lloyd and Kristy have earned the highest scores of the season! And, they go right to the finals. The good news is we get to see Jillian and John skate again. Bruce and Tai are in trouble.

Bruce doesn’t think so though. He says they saved some special things for the skate-off!

And, in the skate-off, skating to Smash Mouth’s “Walking On The Sun,” Jillian and John start off with their strengths – strong holds and security of their skating. Jillian can do things on the ice that Bruce just can’t. Meanwhile, Bruce and Tai do a death spiral, a flipover and the same pulley trick that Jillian and John did earlier in the show. Will that get them to the final? I can’t even imagine it would.

It should be Jillian and John advancing to the final. Let’s see.

Mark says he wanted to see Jillian and John connect more on the ice (what?). He thanks Bruce for the signature death spiral. John says he believes Jillian and John are strongest skaters in the competition. But, he doesn’t get why they are fighting for their lives. Good flipover, good death spiral. He understands Tai and Bruce are the sentimental favorites of the show, but that gets no extra consideration from him. We know. Dorothy is thrilled with both pairs, and says Jill and John are so hot together. She thinks they were emphasizing tricks in the first performance, but felt the connection in the second. Dorothy thinks Tai and Bruce were timeless (older than time), but it’s supposed to look easy.

Decision time. Who will advance to the finals to battle Kristy and Lloyd?

Scott reads the name from an envelope… and it is… Jillian and John!

Hugs for Bruce and Tai. Summer says it was a privilege to watch them. Tai thanks Randy Gardner, her partner for 38 years! (Sweet Lord!) And, we say goodbye to a couple of good sports and sweet people.

Next week, the finals! Who will win Skating With Celebrities?

In the meantime, make sure you find out what the Foxes On Idol judging panel had to say about this week's episode at We'll Be the Judge of That!

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for 16 years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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