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Survivor: Exile Island – Who Will Go in Episode 5?by Wesley Rice -- 03/02/2006
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Before I begin this week’s predictions, I must comment on something. Casaya has appeared the past two weeks to be the team with absolutely no chance of victory. About half of the team is lazy, and the other half is crazy. This team’s dynamics resembles Lord of the Flies. And yet, somehow, some way, this team has won the last three challenges. Amazing! Befuddling. And downright odd. Nonetheless, I must commend them. When it’s time to challenge, they put their quirks aside and play hard.
Last week, I was almost certain Casaya would be going to Tribal Council. But on the slim chance that La Mina went, I chose Sally to go home. And for a while there it seemed I was right, but Sally worked Austin well, and conversely, he worked Terry. Hence, Ruth-Marie got the boot, and I’m now 0-3. Never fret, though, fellow Survivor-watchers, I plan on stopping all that nasty failure this time around. “How,” you ask? Ahh, simple. I shall consult my limited edition Burger King Mace Windu Magic 8-Ball (which looks nothing like a Magic 8-Ball, but a whole lot like Mace Windu).
Let us first look at the quickly dwindling La Mina. At five players, it would seem a necessity to win out to the merge. Indeed, I agree with that sentiment. Even if Terry were to use his newfound immunity while down 6-4, it would only delay the inevitable vote one week (where the other tribe would still have a 5-4 advantage). If they do end up losing again, look for Sally to take the stroll to Loser’s Lodge. And just to be sure, I shall consult Mace. O great Windu! Will Sally be the one to go home this week? *shake, shake, shake* “This party’s over!” Aha! I knew it! Well said, Mace. This party’s over for Sally. She may have been able to divert the vote one week, but the alliance of four men is a bit tighter than the one they had with Ruth-Marie.
Sure, they may be painting Nick as the one to go home in the previews. But I’m guessing the only reason that he wants to go to Exile Island is that he’s confident in his alliance and wants to search for the non-existent shrunken immunity head. Sally’s only hope is immunity.
In Casaya, things are shaking up nicely. Originally Cirie was a sure bet to be sent home, away from all those crazy Casayans and their evil leaf minions. However, as David Mamet and Don Ameche would say, “Things change.”
The clash of personalities among the allied on that tribe that just a couple weeks ago was a tiny tear has now become a gaping rift in the space-time continuum. Left is now right! Up is now down! Dogs and cats are living together! Multiple Worfs are flying all over the place! It’s up to Cirie now to take this mess and fix it in her favor, likely voting out either Shane or Danielle and effectively closing the rift with her in the catbird seat.
Crazy-haired Riker: No! I won’t go back!
Quiet you! You’re worse than Shane and his thinking seat. Which brings me to my boot nominee for Casaya. Admittedly, this could just as easily be Courtney. It all depends on whether Cirie wants to ally with the hardworking but psychopathic Shane or the lazy but semi-normal Courtney and Danielle.
The camp at this point seems fairly evenly divided between the workers (Shane, Aras, and Bruce) and non-workers (Courtney, Danielle, and Bobby). And I believe that in classic Survivor tradition the workers will find themselves leaving first. Because if there’s anything that will make a lazy person get off his bum and vote, it’s to get rid of somebody that’s forcing him to get off his bum and do something.
Cirie will side with the non-workers (despite the fact that Bobby sleeps all day, except for when he’s stinking up the woodshed), Shane will be rewarded with a trip home to his beloved nicotine habit, and the rift in space-time will once again be restored, but not until after George becomes a writer and Biff goes into car detail.
At any rate, it’s now time to discuss my daughter’s weekly predictions. As mentioned last week, the Survivors’ names are written on strips of paper which will be placed in her blankie. I shall then shake them out of it and let her choose one from the floor. We start with Casaya, and boy is she excited! That’s right, Lucy. It’s the paper game! She quickly chooses Danielle for Casaya. Not bad. She was pretty lazy last week, so there’s a possibility.
Now for La Mina. I shake them out and... oh, she’s doing the Home Alone face (hands on the cheeks and everything)! I know, it’s baffling, isn’t it? But you can do it, girl. It takes a few moments of gaping, but eventually she reaches out and chooses Sally. Ah! Good choice once again. We’ll make a prognosticator out of you yet! Or will we? What have you to say, Master Windu? *shake, shake, shake* “Use the Force.” Well, of course! That should have been obvious, I suppose.
As for the immunity idol this week, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the idol will be found somewhere among Terry’s belongings. I know it’s a stretch, but I just have this weird hunch. You know? Seriously, though, I’m sad to see it found so soon because I was quite enjoying deciphering the clues. And even though I feel vindicated that it was indeed found near a Y-shaped tree, I’m also depressed that it’s over now. Perhaps one of you readers could suggest a new thing to predict for this season? Anyone?
Well, in review, Sally’s gone or Shane’s gone. The idol’s with Terry’s stuff. My daughter chooses Sally and Danielle, and Cirie and Egon crossed the beams, sending Gozer back to his thinking seat. Tune in with me this Thursday to make sure there are no long-lasting repercussions.
Wesley is a writer and English teacher from Tulsa, OK. He would have included more sci-fi references, but he didn’t want to sound like a geek or anything. He can be reached with questions, comments, or snide remarks at email@example.com.
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