The Amazing Race 9 Insider, Episode 1: Stereotypical Behavior

Welp, the real Amazing Race is back and so am I with your Insider Clip recaps. Yay, I think. I mean, I could not stand the Family Edition, so I’m happy to put that out of my memory. However, CBS does some annoying things with The Amazing Race that I’m afraid will continue to irk me. First off, they tend to bring in too many stereotypes.

“Look, Moe, we have the Gay Boys stereotype.”
“Excellent, Larry, we just found the Jock Boys too.”
“Hmm, now what do we need? I know! A feisty Latina!”
“Better yet, a feisty Latina and her daughter.”
“Brilliant!”
“Brilliant!”

::the sound of beer cans cracking and chips being gnoshed ensues::

Yes, it gets old. I like my reality people real and not too over the top. I’m hoping that as fatigue sets in, all of these “trying too hard” sorts slip into normal mode. Otherwise, I’m gonna go Glamazon hunting. Any joiners?

Enough expository. Let’s jump into the clips, shall we?

Patched Up: Lake & Michelle are looking for the bridge, and Lake is beyond testosteroned up and thinking he’s going to be doing some hard core bungee jumping. They both have what I can only assume to be nausea patches on, and Michelle mentions extreme dry mouth. Hyped-up Lake babbles about how well they’re doing.

Heavy Load: Double D (no, I’m not going to learn to tell them apart) in the taxi let us know that they are the tiniest girls in the race with the heaviest packs. They start making fun of themselves by saying, “Oh we’re so tiny!” Plus, they ask rhetorically what they could take out, as they need everything. One D asks the Other D if she’s getting feisty. I’ll be damned. They seemed almost normal here. If it weren’t for the ridiculous PINK tanks (and the accents), I might almost feel a smidgen of okayness about them.

Lighten Up: Double D yet again, and this time I have to feel that smidgen of okayness. Dang. Because, you see, they inform the camera that they lightened their backpacks some by giving gear to needy kids on the street, and they actually look sincerely emotional about the experience. I hate when I start to get smushy this early in the season.

Take A Guess: More breas... er, I mean more Double D. They discuss which place they will take in this leg. One D suggests eighth, but she does it in a way that again, damn it, makes me laugh a bit. She mocks Phil and his pauses and his eyebrows. “Dani and Danielle. Pause Pause Pause. Heart attack. Heart attack. Heart attack. You are team number 8.” Heh. Other D feels eighth is too far back and suggests fifth. They settle on sixth. Then they mock their body odor and make each other smell their respective pits. I snarfle a bit louder.

Dancing In The Streets: BJ & Tyler, the two I thought I’d like the most but don’t, ride in a cab and talk about being in Brazil in 2002 for Carnivale. They decide they will make their own Carnivale this time around. Then they share their money-making, bonding strategy: they are going to dance in the streets for money at some point. Yes, you are TOO over the top right now. Whenever you remember the camera is on you, you go for the wild and zany. STOP. Your wild and zany selves will occur naturally. LET IT. Seriously, dudes.

Tough Competition: Ray & Yolanda feel all the teams are tough competition this time around, so they are wary of them all. They all look different, but they are all smart. They decide they cannot relax and get too friendly or share information, because with this many good people, it could be a win or lose error. Smart thinking! I like these two, but let me just say this: Dating long distance five years? Most time you’ve ever spent together at once? I am SO waiting for the meltdown. Heh.

Getting To Know You: The “Glamazons” (Gag. Choke. Hurl.) and John & Scott bond in an airport transporter. They discuss how their tiaras are their special powers (Gag. Choke. Hurl.), and the Boys mention they have their own special powers (I’m assuming they mean the invoking of the genie, which obviously did little good other than amusing me for three seconds). Then one of the tall shallow ones mentions having a dog, and one of the guys has the same dog, and we have a total girl chat going on doggies. If you’re interested, they have Great Danes, and they want similar other dogs too.

Another Triumph: John & Scott in the cab post-candle ceremony rave about how moving it was and how the people seemed so welcoming. Plus, the chunkier one is scared of snakes (and planes and God knows what else, probably leaves – he and Survivor Cirie are obviously soulmates), but touched the big boa. Oh god, I have SUCH a good remark about this, but I’m not going there. Really. I need awards for this restraint. The Boys bemoan the fact that they might be last, but they praise their cab driver, who is taking them despite the Boys only having one U.S. dollar and one Brazil dollar. They also gave him a book, they say, and they hope he can sell it and make up the money he’s losing on them. They are a bit subdued, and you can tell they’re pretty sure they are out.

It’s A Small World: Eric & Jeremy and Team Nerds-In-Love discuss Kansas in line at the airport. Seems that Team Frat know the band that Nerd Dude is in. Yep, totally small world. They ask the Jocks what they do in Florida now, and Team Frat says they hang out at the beach and are bums. I love that they are honest. I thought I’d dislike them more, but I don’t. Yet.

Blame Game: Team Nerd rides in the cab while Dave explains that Wanda and Desiree know fluent Spanish while he has to get around on his Sesame Street Spanish. Chortle. Dave then says that Barry irked him by snaking his cab at some point. Lori breaks it to him that it was Barry’s cab first that he paid to stay and wait just for him. A true gentleman, Dave quickly apologizes (although it’s just the two of them) and I find it utterly adorable. These two are almost TOO lovey-dovey at times for me, but I do find them sweet. You totally know there is a D20 in their past (and probably present and future), and that, my friends, is a good thing.