The Amazing Race 9, Episode 5: I Don’t Know, I’m Just a Girl!

Last night I dreamed that this episode’s leg was another double one. I don’t know what’s weirder, the idea of two double legs back to back or the fact that I’m now dreaming about this show.

Previously on Find a Gnome, Pick it Up, All Day Long You’ll Have Good Luck (If You’re Eric & Jeremy): After learning that the leg wasn’t quite over, ten teams left Russia for Germany, where Eric & Jeremy got ahead by breaking bottles over each other’s heads and stumbling across a lot of luck. Lake & Michelle and BJ & Tyler were right on their tails, and Frankenberry managed to move up. Wanda & Desiree got lost, dragging the Ds down with them. Jeremy & Eric were first (again) but Boricua were out. Eight teams are left:

Eric & Jeremy - Friends/Have been first to the pit stop three out of four times

BJ & Tyler - Friends/Sentimental favorites/If Jeremy & Eric aren’t first, they are

Lake & Michelle - Married/She’s becoming just as annoying as he is

Fran & Barry (Frankenberry) - Married/Sentimental favorites/Aren’t out yet, mostly thanks to equalizers

Dave & Lori (Team Frink) - Dating/Sentimental favorites/I love them

Monica & Joseph (Team Mojo) - Dating/Not much to sneeze at right now

Ray & Yolanda - Dating/Would have placed much better if they’d done Slap It in the first place last week

Dani & Danielle (Double D) - Friends/Need to stop flirting with Eric & Jeremy and concentrate on the race

We’re in Munich, home of beer and history. Phil wonders if Lake & Michelle will stay in front (well, third place) and if Dave & Lori’s relationship will keep them on track. Eric & Jeremy are leaving at 2:15 a.m. The first clue sends them 850 miles away to Palermo, Italy. Ooh, Italy! There, they’ll look for their next clue at an opera house. Eric thinks they’re in first because they’re not overanalyzing things and are just being themselves. They hope the Ds survive the leg. BJ & Tyler leave next, saying that they believe in karma when it comes to relationships. They like to use humor to get help. Makes sense to me.

Lake & Michelle leave next, and for some reason Tyler & BJ are waiting for them. Um… hello? They’re your competition. I have nothing against teams helping each other when they can, but don’t wait for another team! Lake says that Michelle has room to grow in the navigating department. He’s still the leader of the team. Of course. Eric & Jeremy are first to the airport and learn that the earliest flight out departs at 6:35. There’s a stop in Rome and the flight reaches Palermo at 10:15. They flirt with the women working at the ticket counter. I know, shocker, right?

Lake & Michelle and BJ & Tyler arrive next as Jeremy & Eric are fooling around in wheelchairs. Michelle thinks that they should look for flight info on the Internet. It looks like it’s so late that the counters are all closed and there are no people left to help them, so this is a good idea. Michelle also thinks the guys are dumb for playing around. Now BJ & Tyler are playing with Eric & Jeremy and they’re all mocking Lake, which is something I can get behind. Michelle is having trouble finding a website in English.

BJ & Tyler do some Internet searching, too, and find the same flight Eric & Jeremy asked about. Michelle can’t find it and Lake wonders if it’s already full. Michelle wishes that Lake would take over the search, because everyone knows women can’t use the Internet. There’s a law or something. Michelle is setting the women’s movement back about 50 years with her crap.

Frankenberry depart as Fran says that they’re learning from their mistakes. Barry thinks that trying hard will help them get ahead. Frink leave next and Dave says that they’re proving how much they’re in love. They’re taking the race one leg at a time. Mojo leave next and Monica says that making big decisions for herself and Joseph feels great. Not shown: Michelle looking at her quizzically. Monica had me, then loses me when she says that she’s willing to play up the ditz angle because she’s not really dumb.

Eric & Jeremy and BJ & Tyler try to book the first flight out, but it’s already full. Lake is upset because they could already be on it. Michelle asks him if he can read in German. The guys decide to try their luck at standby while Michelle & Lake (and I just typed Lame; talk about your Freudian slips) get a 9:30 flight. They’re upset that Frankenberry have caught up with them. Frankenberry get a flight out before Michelle & Lake’s, and when Lake tries to find out more information, Fran tells him to step back. She’s a little too harsh, but since it’s Lake, I’ll let it go. He tells her they already have tickets, but she doesn’t care. Lake tells Michelle that Fran shouldn’t be acting that way because she’s a doctor’s wife. Um… what?

BJ & Tyler and Jeremy & Eric get on a flight together. Frink get on the same flight as Lake & Michelle. Yolanda & Ray leave next and Ray says that he’s getting to see what Yolanda is made of. He admires her for being strong and having her own mind. Again, Michelle must be really confused. Mojo can’t pronounce Palermo but get on the same flight as Frink and Michelle & Lake. The Ds leave last and Dani says that they’ve promised not to get stressed out. They think that slow and steady might win them the race. Here’s some advice: don’t base your race philosophy on a fable. Otherwise you might wind up stuck in a gingerbread house in the woods. Ray & Yolanda are on the same flight as the Ds.

BJ, Tyler, Eric, and Jeremy all land in Rome but discover that they’re on different connecting flights. BJ & Tyler’s leaves first, which makes Eric & Jeremy upset. The second flight lands in Rome and Lake & Michelle realize that Frink and Mojo have a different connecting flight. They try to switch to it but can’t. Lake is upset that they’re falling behind - they’ve gone from first to last. Except they were in third place, so shut up, Lake.

Michelle tries to give Lake a pep talk, saying that someone else will screw up, but not them, because Lake is the bestest partner ever. Keep telling yourself that, Michelle. They spot the Ds and Ray & Yolanda. BJ & Tyler get the clue at the opera house, which sends them to Castellammare del Golfo. Eric & Jeremy like the weather and Italian women. I wish I had a device that could translate all of their comments about women into music or something. The next two flights land, so everyone is now in Palermo. The Ds admire some soldiers. Focus, ladies!