The Amazing Race 9, Episode 6 Insider: Farewell, My Nerds

It’s a sad, sad episode when the whining oldsters remain, but the sweet nerds have left the building. I mourned. Sniffs. Thank you, CBS, for moving it to 8 p.m. where it should have been all along. Oh, and if you haven’t already, go read Phil’s blog. It’s quite interesting to read his thoughts as the race goes on!

Okay, mourning, thank yous, and recommendations are out of the way. Let’s have some clip recaps now, shall we?

Smart Guy: Lake & Michelle are irritating. That sums up this entire clip. Lake drives about Catania, lost and bitching. Michelle irritates him (and me). In classic Lake accent, he asks if they have street signs in this “sumabitch” and I snarfle a bit. Michelle snarks that he’s going too fast for her to see. He snaps back that he’s going 6 kilometers an hour. She says it’s too fast if you’re trying to read signs. Um, okay. They stop so they can ask someone, which would be smart, but we cut to Lake semi-bullying a native and Michelle whining that they’re wasting time because he’s not going to help them. She’s right, but she’s annoying. As they walk away, they both annoy me with their idiocy. Lake rants that those locals didn’t do them a damn bit of good. Not everyone is helpful, ya know? They call out to people driving by if they speak English. Naturally, people keep driving. Back in the car, Lake mentions that anyone who found this amphitheatre on the map is damn lucky, because he has a “damn high ass IQ” and he can’t. Mercifully, we end the clip.

Who’s in First?: Not You! Lake drives and hypothesizes who they might be ahead of. He says Ray & Yolanda. Michelle starts to disagree, but then changes her mind and says Lake is right. He knows this isn’t sincere. She tells him to stop being sarcastic because she doesn’t want to hit him on the head on TV. PLEASE DO. It would make my recapping WAY more fun! Sadly, she doesn’t. He tells her she’s negative. She claims she just doesn’t want to say they’re ahead of someone they’re not. Later on, we’ll see a clip where she mentions how scared she is to fail in front of people. I think this is the same thing. She’s never forgotten there are cameras, and she’s afraid she’ll look like an idiot if she says “we’re ahead of Ray & Yolanda” and then they wind up way behind them. Unfortunately, she’s looking like an idiot anyway, so just go with it. It’s reality TV, honey. Forget the cameras, be yourself. Anyway, Lake is fairly certain they are ahead of Lori & Dave, but not sure of anyone else.

Open Road: It’s dark as BJ & Tyler drive on the Sicilian roads. Tyler says the streets have been difficult, but this highway is great. They wish they could see it in the daytime, because it’s sure to be beautiful. Tyler shares that they see a lot of stray dogs on the highway, some running about, some in little pieces. Just. Ew. He raves some more about the nice roads and that someone must pay good taxes here. BJ quips something about the Mafia. Ah stereotypes.

Follow the Leader: BJ & Tyler mock themselves outside the closed amphitheatre, stating that all the other racers are sheep, following behind them and doing what they do. They are beginning to tell legends about the duo, BJ proclaims. They pull trees out of curbs and are 20 feet tall. They have power in their hair. And because of all this, they conclude, the teams will sign the sign up list they have left. Everyone will magically believe it must be official, or they will know it is BJ & Tyler’s doing and will respect the powers and sign up. Cute, boys, very cute.

Hippie Fight: I totally recommend going to watch this one. It amused me to no end. BJ & Tyler mock fight like girls and Eric yells from the background “I love a chick fight!” They ham it up some more with encouragement from the Frats.

First Impressions: Post-fish, BJ & Tyler drive to their next destination and discuss Lake & Michelle’s ability to do the fish task. Tyler says Lake will push Michelle to do it. BJ puts on his “Michelle-voice” and says she will cry and whine that it’s too much for her. He then puts on his “Lake-voice” and says, very quickly, “c’mon Michelle, put the fish on your back.” Tyler continues it with more Lakeisms, “smell that fish, that’s first place,” and so on. Seriously, they say, they like Lake. He led them to a Detour in Germany and is a good guy. Another clip worth watching for the Lake accents. Seriously.

Complete Experience: More BJ & Tyler in the car. They state that racing against the Frat Cats (their term) is intensive. They like Eric & Jeremy, but joke that they should step down and be eliminated. Tyler would not cry. They would see each other at race reunions where they could have a good laugh on how BJ & Tyler stole and flushed Eric & Jeremy’s passports and got them eliminated. Team Hippie feels Eric & Jeremy need to experience the back of the pack, like they did once. Frat cats need the full experience, they decide, and that includes elimination. Heh.

Backseat Frontseat Driver: Ray drives with Yolanda next to him. She questions his excessive use of the gear shift (it’s phallic, darlin’, we’ll never quite understand). He tells her to let him drive. She keeps her mouth shut, but it looks like a major effort. He jokes that she is a backseat driver in the front seat. She giggles. She tells him to drive faster and pass someone. He tells her to zip it. They grin some more. It’s all very good-natured.

Evil Eye: Dave & Lori post-fish drive and discuss their oneness with the swordfish. It’s vintage nerd, and I mentally tear up at the thought of their loss. Sniffs. Lori believes carrying the fish was faster than trying to sell fish in a language they don’t speak. Good move. Dave enjoyed the experience, he says, and it wasn’t far to walk at all. They became one with the swordfish, he continues, and he is blood brothers with his. Hah! Lori laughs and agrees, but didn’t like their eyes. Dave says they had beautiful eyes, but Lori says they freaked her out. She gives a “yeah the swordfish. Yum yum,” wherein I detect a hint of sarcasm.

Fair-weather Friends: Team Frat drive. Eric feels good about the race so far, no major mistakes, etc. Jeremy agrees, but feels the hippies only want to ally when it benefits them. They say the hippies follow them and don’t do anything. I SO disagree with this. The hippies have beaten them a few times, and they’ve found places on their own quite handily. Hey, if they want to save some time occasionally and follow, more power to them. It’s nothing Eric & Jeremy haven’t done. The Frats go on to say it’s kind of annoying but part of the game, and they finally admit they’ve done it too. They just want to “burn out ahead of everyone like a race car.” Eric then asks the important question of where the Axe (deodorant) is. He can’t find it, so stays fishy.

Helpful Hint: Mojo show some major race smarts in their direction strategy. They run over to a guy in a scooter and ask for directions, then ask if he’ll lead them. He agrees, and they’re off. In the car, Joseph shares that they target scooters because the drivers usually don’t mind flipping around (and it’s easy for them compared to cars) and showing them the way. Monica loves it when someone else leads the way. Good move!!