The One, July 18: Season Premiere, Who Will Be “The One?”

We return from the break and George (who does not tell us his last name again), explains the voting again. I’ll save this for the end, okay.

Nick Brownell is our next victim, er, performer. Nick started playing out when he was a senior in high school. Kara is trying to help him, telling him this is serious, and that he could be “The One.” She calls him “frat boy!” Nick says he’s not going back, either. Someone has to, though, right?

Oh gawd. Nick is singing Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” He’s flat, pitchy, and totally soul-free. The band sounds like something you might hear in a small corner bar on a Wednesday night, and Nick a singer in a high school talent show. He completely loses his place in the song and never finds his way back again. I can’t believe how bad that was.

Kara says that they are going to be getting it on… practicing that is. She says Nick was a little stiff for her (yikes). Mark calls him Frodo, and says that there is some work to be done. Andre says, “I don’t know what you were thinking about, but it wasn’t sexy like Marvin sang it.” You tell it, Andre.

Now for Scotty Grainger, who plays piano, guitar, flute, sax, piccolo, and several other instruments. His biggest fear is not winning. He’s from New Orleans, and tells us that “Katrina was a bad chick.” He says that he experienced some things in his life that have hit him hard. He seems to be able to capture that emotion in his music. “Music is such a powerful force,” he says.

Scotty’s bringing us a little Motown with the Temptations’ “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.” He’s got the falsetto, and some nice spins, I’ll give him that. And he does a decent job on the bridge, but seems very nervous. I think he can do better, and I will give him the benefit of the doubt, this time at least.

Andre says that he was nervous about the performance in the beginning, but that Scotty pulled it off and sounded like Jackie Wilson. Mark does some strange kind of head motion that indicates he likes it (I think). Kara calls Scotty a smoooooth cat.

Two more to go. Stay with me now, okay! We’re almost there! As an aside, the theme music to this show sounds like the MadTV theme.

We have another clip of action at the house, and the contestants talk about each other. During the clip, Scotty is singing “Ain’t No Sunshine,” beautifully. You should have chosen that one, Scotty. Aubrey likes Michael Cole. Syesha sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” (oh please, please, please, not again).

Caitlin Evanson is next. She plays fiddle and sings, and has been on the road for four years playing for various country artists. She has also just quit drinking. Mark tells her he has 13 years of sobriety, and says, “I’ve been you.” He offers to help her, and she starts to cry. Mark reassures her that he is just a phone call away. She is afraid that isolation will drag her back into the drinking.

Caitlin comes out with her fiddle, and does (or tries to do) Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love.” An appropriate tune for a recovering person, I must say! But this is the wrong song for her voice and style, and really, I can’t even begin to describe this performance. Doesn’t quite work with the fiddle either! I am laughing again. I can’t help it. This is bizarre.

After her performance, Caitlin tells George that she is happy to share her experience to help others. Mark tells her she has nothing to be ashamed of (except that performance, I’m thinking). He feels like a proud dad, and says she nailed it. Andre says it’s hard to be honest and loves her “raspy, country thing.” Kara says, “She’s real,” and points out that this is Caitlin’s coming out party. She’s no longer in the background. Yay!

Our final contestant in the two-hour torture fest is Adam McInnis. He says that he was tone deaf up until three years ago, and calls his style “timeless.” His greatest fear is the stereotype about his dreadlocks. He doesn’t want to be compared to Lenny Kravitz or Bob Marley. Now why do I think there is probably not much chance of that?

Adam is singing an acoustic version of “American Woman” – kind of Dave Matthews-like. It’s actually rather nice. But then the band kicks into the traditional version, and Adam’s voice is no match for the arrangement. It’s thin and without any flavor at all. He flails about on the stage and seems to forget that he is supposed to be singing. Oh man. It’s like he disappeared into the mist.

Kara says it was a little bit pitchy, but the visual image was incredible. I’ll say! “This guy worked his butt off,” she says. Mark also points out how focused Adam was at the academy. Andre likes Adam’s sensitive spirit, but says he needs work.

We have a recap of the performances in anticipation of the voting. Here’s how it works: The viewers vote, and on Wednesday night, the bottom three will be revealed. The three will perform, and then the judges will “save” one of them. After that, the remaining contestants will actually select the person who goes home. Nasty!

Now you know that I have to select my picks for the bottom three, right? But how, pray tell, does one choose? Of the 11, the only one with whom I was impressed was Austin. I like Scotty, and Syesha wasn’t terrible either. Jeremiah was okay. So, that leaves seven. This is tough, but I would say that the bottom three should be Nick Brownell (“Let’s Get it On”), Aubrey Collins (“Born to be Wild”), and the incredibly horrific herky jerky Michael Cole (“Devil With the Blue Dress”). Of the three, I would say that Michael Cole will be the first to be eliminated from this mess. But it really doesn’t matter. I say they should “crown” Austin right now and be done with it! But that’s not the way this usually works, now is it?

If you are interested in helping out with recapping for The One or contributing to a “We’ll Be the Judge of That!” column for the show on Foxes On Idol, please let us know! We are looking for some people with good writing skills, and you can e-mail the editors at newrno@yahoogroups.com if you think you have what it takes.

Donna Reynolds is a freelance writer based in Syracuse, New York. While entertainment sustains her emotionally, she earns her daily bread by writing and editing web copy. Check out her new website at www.idolthoughts.net. Donna loves mail, so shoot her an email at foxydonna@earthlink.net.

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