Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat, Episode 10 – A Little Knowledge Is a Dangerous Thing

Starting this week’s unRealWorld/nonRoadRules Challenge in a different way, we join the kiddies at "Cheeky Monkeys," which looks like the local dive bar/watering hole/mating pit. Evan is onstage in some sort of stripping contest, competing against some other blondes… I’m rooting for Evan, though, since it looks like he’s the only one onstage with a Y chromosome. The competition is for who can blow up a condom in the shortest amount of time. Evan emerges victorious. Insert your own joke here.

Dawn breaks over Oz as Wes tells Eric everything he can about the Exile. He interviews that he wants to keep Katie & Eric in the game as long as possible because Katie has agreed not to vote Wes & Casey into Exile. I’m wondering how much advice and coaching can possibly help the least athletic pairing ever to grace any season of Real World or Road Rules (or, come to think of it, just about any other television show on record). Wes tells Katie that he wants her to come back from Exile and if she does, they will have enough power to do "some crazy things!" Counting on my fingers (and toes), I don’t see how two couples will hold such unbreakable control in a field of eight teams but since I’d be shocked to see Katie & Eric return, such speculation is idle, at best.

At some point in the evening, Tina & Kenny are chatting and Tina reveals to us that she knows Wes has been coaching Katie & Eric. Tina being Tina, she’s pissed at Wes, and if she and Kenny come back from Exile, she’ll be gunning for him. Tina tells Kenny that she thinks it’s his fault that they’re up for Exile tomorrow and he calls her on it, saying "Obviously you never won any one of these things for a ing reason!" Rather than getting upset, Tina looks amused.

As we hear those dulcet T-Mobile tones, the next clue is in: "Are you ready to PULL out all the stops in tomorrow’s challenge? Bet you can’t WEIGHT!" Wes reads the clue to the kiddies, and then interviews that he’s looking forward to tomorrow’s competition, because it’s the first Exile he won’t be participating in.

It looks like a clear, blue morning in Oz as the teams meet up with TJ for today’s challenge, "The Human Ox Pull." We must not be anywhere of note, since TJ doesn’t deign to share today’s location. For the challenge, the kiddies will be broken up into two teams, each of which will have to pull an 850 pound sled of hay 100 meters to a finish line as quickly as possible. The losing team is out of today’s challenge. The winning team will divide back into the Challenge pairings, and each pair will have to drag an unloaded sled (still weighing 350 pounds) across the finish line. The winning team will be exempt from Exile and will receive a year’s supply of something valuable. In addition, if either Tina & Kenny or Katie & Eric win, they win their way free of Exile.

The first and second place teams from the last challenge, Shane & Lynette and Theo & Chanda, will each captain a team and must choose teams, schoolyard style. Shane & Lynette won the last contest, so they get to choose first. The picks go as follows (in order):

Shane & Lynette: Evan & Coral, Katie & Eric, Derrick & Diem
Theo & Chanda: Darrell & Aviv, Tina & Kenny, Wes & Casey

Evan interviews that he’s terrified of this challenge in light of his secret hernia. (That’s a great name for a punk rock band: My Secret Hernia!) The editors have shown us so much pseudo-foreboding footage of Evan talking about his hernia that I’m barely even paying attention by now. Eric interviews that he’s thrilled with this competition and he thinks he and Katie have a chance to escape Exile.

By sounding his ever-present airhorn, TJ gets the teams started, and their initial progress is less than impressive. The kiddies slog through the now moist-looking dirt, moving very slowly, if at all. Yes, folks, it’s another nail biter from our friends at MTV! Is it me, or have the contests this season sucked worse than ever before?! Seriously, if anyone from MTV is reading this, give me a shout – I could come up with ideas much more interesting and pleasant to watch than the dross you’ve given us this year.

Sorry, back to the competition, which is still pretty much where we left it.

"Team Shane & Lynette" (S&L) is far ahead at first, but then "Team Theo & Shanda" (T&S) somehow pulls even. All of this without any apparent movement from either team! Evan interviews that he’s pulling as hard as he can and he has a "shooting pain running up and down my stomach." I’ll save you the rest of the quote, but rest assured that it’s disgusting and involves reverse peristalysis.

T&S pulls ahead, and Tina tells us that their "1-2-3 pull" system is working. Shane sees defeat in his team’s eyes, and he's right, as T&S wins. We see members of S&L lying in the mud, panting and trying to catch their breath. Someone (Evan?) suggests that they finish the competition anyway, "I have an Exile, I need my strength!" snaps Katie.

Evan interviews to the camera that he’s in so much pain he could puke (although he looks quite calm and isn’t even breathing heavy). Coral is limping around and interviews that she’s in excruciating pain and her kneecap is out of place. We see a medic telling her they’re taking her to the hospital; then we see both Coral and Evan inside a van; Coral lying on the floor with ice on her knee and Evan laying across a seat. Neither of them looks like the champions they were only a few episodes ago. Evan tells Coral he’s keeping her company and Coral tells us she’s grateful for the support. He interviews that he’s in a lot of pain and he doesn’t like the idea of surgery, but he has to do something about the pain.

Elsewhere on General Hospital, the challenge continues, but now it’s every team for themselves. We have Theo & Chanda, Tina & Kenny, Darrell & Aviv and Wes & Casey. At the start, Theo & Chanda, Tina & Kenny and Darrell & Aviv look to be working very hard. After a few perfunctory pulls, Wes (who isn't even wearing a harness like everyone else) drops his shoulder strap and leaves Casey to pull alone (she’s making the same amount of progress as she was with him there -- none). Derrick points out that Casey is still stuck in her harness. "That’s because she sucks at life," Wes laughs. Ah yes, a gentleman for the ages, our young Wesley…