Celebrity Duets, September 14: Duet ‘Til You’re Satisfied

So far, Celebrity Duets has been quite a surprise! The celebrities, for the most part, can sing pretty well and the superstars are legit superstars! Not a one-hit wonder yet!

Lea Thompson’s exit last week was a bit of a surprise, since she was hardly the worst of the lot (Carly, Cheech). But, as we have seen with American Idol, personality does count. Carly so badly wants to do well, she’s racking up the sympathy points. Cheech has no delusions. He’s just out there doing the best he can. And, he’s already an icon. He, maybe more than the others, has a built-in audience ready to support him!

It remains to be seen if, like Idol, the eliminations, though out of skew, eventually balance out and the best make the finals.

Wayne Brady welcomes us. Wayne sounds a bit hoarse tonight as he reminds us the celebrities are competing for a cash prize to donate to charity. I don’t believe I mentioned that before, but it’s worth noting.

Wayne then introduces us to the celebrity judges – Marie Osmond, Little Richard (once again, out-dressing Marie, and maybe prettier) and David Foster (wearing a jacket, in defiance of his Simon-esque role on this show).

Lucy Lawless is up first and she hopes for a female partner. Apparently, she got her wish, but as the saying goes… be careful what you wish for. The mystery artist has Lucy very intimidated. And, the song is no breeze for her either.

Lucy Lawless with Dionne Warwick, “I Say A Little Prayer”

Lucy starts in an oddly low key and it’s not a complete success. Dionne joins her, her voice deepened with age, and together… I don’t know. Lucy is hard to hear (can we turn her mike up please?), and Dionne isn’t giving her much. Not great.

Dionne is gone (I think they have done away with the celebrity interviews). Marie says she thinks Lucy was timid in her performance. Little Richard says something about Kool-Aid and then says she needs to be more soulful. David says he “kinda liked it,” but he wants her to sing higher.

Hey look, there’s John Walsh! Is one of the celebrities on the run? Has Cheech been misbehaving? Ahem.

Alfonso recognizes that Jai is his primary competition. Suddenly, he realizes he has a sore throat. He’s not sure if he can sing!

Alfonso Ribeiro with Deniece Williams, “Too Much Too Little Too Late”

Alfonso starts off pretty rough. That sore throat is putting him through it, it appears. Deniece shows up with that trademark vibrato of hers, and together they sound fine. The voices are meshing very well together. But, when Alfonso sings alone, he definitely sounds affected. Still, like Jai, even sick, he’s among the best of the show.

Marie says he always finds great ways to end his songs, but adds he has a move he does with everyone that takes away from the duet. Little Richard says his big toe shot up again, and the rest was lost. David says he did a good job, just don’t whine about being sick. (Jai didn’t get that last week!)

Carly says she was shaken when she heard she was in the bottom three last week, but she is relieved to get paired with one of her favorite singers. Carly says singing is what she wants to do as a career.

Carly Patterson with Jesse McCartney, “Beautiful Soul”

Carly begins singing in a high register, which isn’t horrible, but it’s still off. Jesse comes out, and he’s not much better, frankly. In fact, I closed my eyes, and I’m not sure who was who! Jesse gets a lot of mileage out of being cute, but he’s not the kind of duet partner Carly needs. This was mediocre, at the most generous.

Marie warns Carly that the judges are being more constructive. She says Carly’s voice is loosening, but the body is still tight. Little Richard says he’s got the horse, he hopes she has her buggy. (Heh?)_He continues, I guess, that she’s come a long way, but she still has a long way to go (that’s exactly what David said last week!). David says Carly has to work on singing from her diaphragm.

Hal says he has a distinct singing style and that his pushing is interpreted as not being able to sing. (Hal. Please!) He says he’s going to do his thing and hopes that will break through every one’s opinion.

Hal Sparks with Dennis DeYoung, “Come Sail Away”

Hal starts off “pushing” as he calls it, but it still sounds like cracks in the vocals to me. Then comes Dennis singing as smooth as a 1,000 count sheet, exposing Hal horrifically. Fortunately, Dennis is a pro enough to effortlessly and perfectly harmonize with Hal, so that together, they sounded great! Man, did Hal get lucky!

Marie says Hal is reinventing himself, good job. Little Richard says he is using a lot of feeling, and he hopes he feels what he’s using. He also wants to see more soul. David says he believes Hal thinks Hal is a rock star. David does not believe this is so. Hal says a rock star would beat David up right now!

I like Hal a lot, but he came off oddly cocky tonight. That’s going to hurt him.

Cheech says he’s not worried about David’s comments or his bottom three showing last week. He’s excited about his partner, too.

Cheech Marin with Aaron Neville, “Ain’t No Sunshine”

Cheech growls through the opening lyrics and ends flat. Yikes. Aaron arrives with his feathery voice, starts off rocky himself, and I find myself cringing at the thought of them together. It takes a lot of skill to sing with Aaron Neville. They rarely sing together; Cheech does most of the work. That is most unfortunate.

Marie says charm and personality are Cheech’s strong points, but does not think he has improved to the level of the others. Little Richard says, “it ain’t there” and reminds us he is the architect and the originator (I was wondering when we were going to have to hear about that again!), “ain’t no sunshine, she gone!” David says simply, “You don’t belong here anymore.”

That guarantees that Cheech will be back.

Suddenly, Wayne is singing “My Girl” to Marie, who shies away from singing herself. He also offers a thesaurus that will interpret Little Richard’s comments. I need one of those!

Jai is worried that his great critiques have raised the bar for him. He loves the artist he is singing with, but the key is very high and makes him nervous.

Jai Rodriguez with Taylor Dayne, “Tell It To My Heart”

Jai shouldn’t have worried -- he blazes through his lyrics. Taylor Dayne arrives, ageless, and its one of those times its hard to tell who the superstar is! Especially when Taylor misses her cue! Oops! Together, they are great, and once again, Jai has won the night!

Marie says Jai is great at relating to the camera, but thinks the choreography was awkward, him backing up blindly across the stage. (Wayne interrupts to say that Jai didn’t choreograph the routine, to which Marie says Jai could have spoken up about it if he didn’t agree with the choice. Jai accepts this feedback enthusiastically.) Little Richard says he “picked it up and pulled it out and put it in!” (Jai looks puzzled, and so do I!). I think Richard enjoyed himself. David says he likes the way Jai sings, but tonight “it was a big miss.” (Oh come on. David, give us a break! And, Carly wasn’t?)

Here’s how I would rank them:

1. Jai
2. Alfonso
3. Lucy

And the bottom three:

1. Hal
2. Carly
3. Cheech

Going home, as much as I hate to say this… will be Hal! Hal really came off badly. Cheech was read the death sentence, and he’ll be rescued. Folks feel sorry for Carly and will save her too.

Sorry, Hal.

Am I right? Let’s meet here tomorrow and see!

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for many years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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