Dancing with the Stars 3, September 19: Illegal Moves

Karina Smirnoff and Mario Lopez are ready with their quickstep. We learn that they might be doing an illegal move tonight. This show has it all! Mario gets on Karina’s nerves though; he’s boxing instead of dancing. They go to the gym in order to figure out if boxing and dancing can be combined. She flattens him at one point.

Tonight, they are dancing to “Do Your Thing.” The dance starts off very vigorously and early on there is a lift. In past seasons, lifts were illegal until the end of the competition, so perhaps this is the move the couple alluded to in their interview. The performance isn’t bad, but they seem to spend a lot of time apart (at least they do when compared to Ashly and Harry).

Bruno tells Mario that it was an impressionistic version of the quickstep. He then tells the crowd to stop booing him and to shut up. Carrie Ann scolds the crowd for criticizing Bruno and says that she agrees with him. Len explains that while the routine was entertaining, it certainly wasn’t a quickstep.

Carrie gives Karina and Mario a seven; Len gives them a six; Bruno gives them an eight. They now have a total of 21 points. That’s not a bad score considering the judges basically told them they didn’t do the dance properly.

Performing for us next are Shanna Moakler and Jesse DeSoto. She tells us that her partner is a mambo champion; she doesn’t want to let him down. She also says that she doesn’t want to be sexy. (Don’t worry Shanna; I’m sexy when I write, feed the dog, or just kick back. You get used to it after awhile.)

Shanna and Jesse are dancing the mambo to “Jump.” The performance is slow and a part of me thinks that it is the music. I have nothing against Kriss Kross except for its spelling, but everything seems to be dragging, including the music. Shanna and Jesse perform the right moves; there is a lot of hip work. I’m just not feeling it, though.

Len says the dance was great and that Shanna kept up with Jesse. Bruno says she is blossoming, but she needs more confidence. Carrie Ann states that she liked the routine and is proud of Shanna. Perhaps I need to get my eyes examined, because it didn’t work for me.

The couple receives 22 points out of 30 from the judges. They are pleased with their score.

Did P. Diddy get to Samantha and convince her that “Vote or Die” pertains to this show too? She is really pushing the voting this season as we are reminded for the 58th time tonight that we can vote via the telephone or PC.

Dancing next are Kym Johnson and Jerry Springer. During rehearsals, Kym hurt her knee. She was worried that it might be a career-ending injury, but thankfully, she is fine now. Jerry shows a lot of concern for Kym.

Kym and Jerry are performing the quickstep to “Sing, Sing, Sing.” Jerry makes the dance quite enjoyable with his expressions; however, he does miss a few steps. Given his age and the fact that Kym hurt herself, the performance isn’t bad. Kym even gets to kick Jerry square in the nuts during the routine.

Bruno says that Jerry compensates for mistakes very well. Carrie Ann states that the teamwork was wonderful. Len tells Kym and Jerry that he doesn’t care about her injury; you have to roll with whatever happens. He then tells Jerry that he’ll never beat the younger celebrities, so he should concentrate on the areas that he can excel at, including technique.

Carrie gives the couple a seven. Len and Bruno give it a six. Kym and Jerry now have 19 points.

When you watch Jerry on Dancing with the Stars, you forget that he is the same man who brought you transsexual telephone operators who cheated on their significant others with their ministers. He is quite simply a funny, loveable man. I think he should host the show next season.

Vivica A. Fox and Nick Kosovich are up next. Vivica states that she is opinionated. We then see her argue with Nick during practice. Eventually, she admits to him that she was wrong. Also, Nick is pushing her to move faster and quicker. I think I lost seven pounds just watching her.

They are dancing the mambo this evening to a song I don’t recognize. If anyone can help me out, let me know what the name of the song is. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; I wish ABC would post the songs on its web site before the show airs.) In any case, the performance is sexy and fun. It even includes spanking! I like the way these two work together. Yikes, Vivica just did a cartwheel. I’m impressed. They finish a second or two later than the music, but I feel that their performance was executed well overall.

Len says that they sold the routine, but then he starts to criticize it. Someone in the audience boos him and he tells that person to shut up. I think he’s channeling Bruno. Speaking of Bruno, he jumps in at that point and says that Vivica knows how to do sexy. Carrie Ann says the beginning was weak, but it all came together.

All three judges give Vivica and Nick an eight for a total of 24 points. Vivica is excited because she worked all week long on her cartwheel.