America’s Next Top Model 7, Episode 1: I’m Not A Stripper, I’m An “Entertainer”!

So the girls walk outside and their ride is waiting for them – a stretch escalade limo – nice! It’s all decked out in Top Model paraphernalia and all the girls are giddy with excitement. They get some Tyra mail, which has the key to their house. When they arrive, everyone runs around looking for their rooms. The place is designed like a big Tyra magazine, complete with a letter from the editor (Tyra herself).

Brooke is now in the confessional doing a Mike Boogie and Will telephone conversation with herself. Okay, I love Brooke – a lot! She says that there were only 11 beds in the house and 13 girls, so two girls have to sleep on the giant bean bags. Apparently, it’s Monique and Christian who didn’t get beds. However, Monique isn’t pleased and wants a bed. She decides that she’s going to take a bed that is already claimed and moves the stuff on it, then pours water on it. When Eugena returns, Monique says she peed on the bed and it’s hers now. She doesn’t seem to care that Eugena is upset. Eugena goes to the confessional and says that she wants to beat up Monique. Damn, I thought Monique was supposed to be sweet! Not so – Monique says that you can call her what you want, but in the end, she’ll have a bed.

Now the girls are getting to know one another and becoming more comfortable. Christian says that Melrose is trying to be the mom of the house, as we see Melrose making dinner, but saying that she wants someone else to wash the dishes. Anchal says that Melrose is being bossy, and she already has a mother.

In the morning, the girls wake up to the dirty dishes from the night before, and the ones in the dishwasher are not clean – someone ran it incorrectly! Melrose doesn’t know what to do with all the garbage, and holds a meeting. Basically, all the girls agree to pitch in and help clean and take less time in the bathroom – except Monique, who says that she is set in her ways and she knows people will have issues with her. Melrose asks her to at least be respectful to the other girls, and Monique basically says no! Damn, where did this side of her come from?

The girls, all in the hot tub, get some Tyra Mail. It asks them if they are a typical model stereotype? Are they on drugs? A diva? Anorexic? We’ll find out tomorrow! And tomorrow is already here! The girls walk onto the photo shoot set and as they wait, Tyra strolls in, in a massive fury. She starts acting like a diva, calling the girls bitches, queening out, and basically making the girls laugh. She even fakes a fall! It’s a bit over the top, but she gets her point across as she leaves the set. Out comes Jay Manuel! He tells the girls that Tyra was portraying a typical model stereotype and today, the girls will be doing the most controversial shoot ever done on the show – model stereotypes! Ooh, this should be good!

A.J. will have to be a model working the casting couch. Amanda will be anorexic and Caridee is the dumb blonde. Brooke has to be the backstabbing bitch and Christian will be the model turned actress. Eugena will be turned into the black girl that is being forced to be white and Megan will be the diva with a dog. Michelle will portray bulimia and Jaeda is plastic surgery. Megg has to be a drug addict, and I don’t think that’s too far off from her. Anchal is the narcissist and Monique has to throw a cell phone at her assistant. Ha! Finally, we have Melrose, who must be the model that doesn’t wake up for a job unless she’s being paid $10,000. Also, she won the challenge, so she gets to be a diva for the day. She’ll get a personal assistant, a massage, and a manicure before her photos. In come Oliver and Dylan, the photographers, and now it’s time for hair and makeup!

Monique is all set to go first. She apparently shot her phone already, now she needs to act like she is throwing it. At first, her poses are all the same. Jay gets a little out of her, but not much, and he’s clearly frustrated. Monique demands to be taught skill.

Caridee is the dumb blonde, and she looks great! However, Jay says that she’s looking a bit “Lucille Ball.” Megg says she’s trying to look strung out, but doesn’t feel the stereotype is true – most of the time. Eugena is the black girl turned white, and I love her look! She feels that black girls are never portrayed correctly. Megan gets to hold a dog named Tyra Banks. Her hair is great! Anchal says that she has some issues with the mirrors in her photo because she knows she doesn’t feel beautiful.

Christian says that she can pose, but needs to find her own niche. She keeps giving the same pose though, and Jay says that she’s turning out to be a broke down Tyra, and that’s all she knows. Brooke is the backstabbing bitch, and says that it’s not normally like her and it was fun to play bitch for a day. A.J. is supposed to work the casting couch and boy does she! Jay loves the photo, and I’m really digging her poses. Jaeda is doing plastic surgery, and she’s also only giving one face. Michelle admits that it was Amanda’s idea to apply for the show, but she’s really into it now. We see her doing the bulimia photo, and it looks very edgy! Scary, but edgy! Amanda needs to do anorexic, but doesn’t understand how to use her body.

Finally, there’s Melrose. Jay says that they are ready for her, but has to wait because being “diva for a day” really went to her head. Melrose wants to look perfect, and has makeup reapplied because her massage messed it up. Finally she meets Jay in the room and he tells her not to have an attitude. Melrose admits that she wants to cry, but instead just shuts off. Jay coaches her though the shoot, but isn’t feeling it, telling her that she is doing bad acting the whole time. After she is finished, Melrose goes into the bathroom and gets a good cry out. She knows she went from best to worst.

The girls get their Tyra Mail and it says that someone is going home tomorrow. Melrose knows that she struggled and isn’t sure she knows who she is in this competition, but she got a good kick in the a**.

In the girls come to their first elimination. Hey, the elimination room got a makeover too this season! I adore it! Also different this season is the prizes. First, a contract with Elite Models, which Tyra had a contract with for a few years. Second, the cover of an issue of Seventeen magazine, in which Tyra tells another story. Finally, the most coveted – a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl cosmetics! The judges are still the same though – we have renowned runway coach, Ms. J. Alexander. There’s noted photographer, Nigel Barker, and good ol’ Twiggy. First we’ll have individual evaluations. The girls had to evoke model stereotypes in their first photo shoot and up first is Megan.