America’s Next Top Model 7, Episode 1: I’m Not A Stripper, I’m An “Entertainer”!

The photo, to me, looks great. The judges like it, but close up, Nigel isn’t feeling it. Monique is up next and Ms. J. wants to know why one of the white girls couldn’t be throwing the phone. Twiggy wants her to move more and Nigel thinks she looks crazy, not attractive. Caridee as a dumb blonde looks great, and Tyra says she was proud. She gave all types of dumb. Tyra also tells Caridee that she has the personality down, now she just needs to nail “being a model.” Umm, don’t all the girls have to get that down, Tyra?

Anchal is next but the judges make her take her hair down before they judge her. That way, she doesn’t look like “Ms. World.” Anchal says that she feels pretty with her dark eyes in the photo. Nigel admits that she is beautiful and photo is great. Megg, who has a “luncheon dress on” according to Tyra, is also revamped before judging. They think her photo is a bit busted, but in a good way, but Tyra says her film was flat and they want more eye contact from her.

Amanda steps forward and is told that they love her face in the photo. Tyra feels it was her only good shot and Amanda admits she was nervous. Michelle is next and everyone says her shot was the most controversial. It’s good, but scary, and she really showed emotion. Personally, I love it – she looks downright creepy, but amazing!

Melrose won the challenge, and everyone claps. However, she’s a mess in front of the judges, and Tyra comes from behind the desk to fix her up. They feel her shot needs more emotion and she looks old to Nigel, even after the retouching. Tyra brings up that she was argumentative with Mr. Jay, she was late for her shoot, and the photographer said she was the worst of the day. Nigel says that one thing he can’t stand is when a model is late… flashback to Jenascia in Cycle 2 oversleeping and being late for her first photo shoot, where Nigel was the photographer.

Brooke was to be the backstabbing bitch. The judges compare her to Monique, and say she was trying to show too much anger. Eugena was the black girl turned white, and I think she looks great! Twiggy says it’s bland and Tyra says that they wanted more face from her. A.J. has no desire when she walks to the judges and Nigel wonders why. She admits to being insecure and when they look at her photo, you would never know – she looks amazing! They do make a few comments but A.J. tries to make excuses, which Tyra puts an end to.

Christian is up next and they work on her hair first. Her photo doesn’t really do it for anyone and Tyra tell her that she should have been more over the top – she was too constrained. Finally, we have Jaeda. The judges tell her that she looks like a suburban mom. She needs to work more on bring out femininity. Tyra says that all her photos looked the same, and she didn’t give variety. Now it’s time for the judges to deliberate.

Twiggy liked A.J., but they didn’t realize that she was lacking self confidence. Jaeda had a bad angle, and resembles a drag queen. Eugena from the neck down looked great. Amanda had a great photo and looked different, however, between the twins, Nigel prefers Michelle and says she has the look, but Amanda is edgy. Together, they are perfect. Megg has some posture issues and needs to work on her eyes, but she is very beautiful. Anchal is getting closer to feeling beautiful, while Christian has great eyes and tone, but is boring. Brooke has an amazing personality, but it didn’t show in her photo, while Meghan didn’t take a great photo either. Twiggy says that she reminds her of Cycle 5’s Kim, but Tyra says Megan is softer. Caridee had an easy photo, and Ms. J. says that resting on easy is typical for Caridee. Meow! Monique has this thing where she’s scared to look ugly, and Melrose has a long way to go and looked busted. And the talking back? Ms. J. says at this point in the competition, you should at least hide that you’re a bitch!

Tyra welcomes the girls back and says that she has 13 girls in front of her, but only 12 photos. These 12 photos represent the 12 girls that are still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model. The first name called is… Michelle! She is followed by Caridee, who breaths a huge sigh of relief, A.J., and then Megan. Anchal is called next, who squeals with glee. Megg is the next girl called, followed by Monique, who has her picture thrown at her, just like the cell phone. To be honest, I thought Monique would be in the bottom two!

Amanda is called next, followed by Jaeda and Eugena. The next name called is Brooke, who promises to do better for the next photo shoot. Melrose and Christian step forward. Only one name will be called and the girl not called will need to return home, pack her bags and go home. Christian is told that she walked into the panel and didn’t look like a model. On top of that, her photo wasn’t popping. Two of the judges even called her boring. Melrose had a notorious theme for her photo, and could have done so much, but delivered nothing. On top of that, her attitude wasn’t acceptable. Both girls have tears already.

Melrose apologizes, but Tyra says it’s too late for that now… she only has one photo left. That photo will go to… Melrose! This means that Christian is eliminated, but Melrose is on the floor crying. She finally gets her life in order and gets her photo. Tyra tells her to check her attitude, and Melrose promises she will.

Poor Christian has her face in her hands, as she goes and gives Tyra a hug, then the other girls. She says that she’s crushed, and won’t act like she didn’t really want this. It hurts, and she knows that she wanted it more than anyone – she never saw it coming.

Next week, like clockwork, it’s time for makeovers! Looks like we’ll have the standard meltdown and tears will be shed. Monique makes everyone in the house on edge, apparently, and it looks to me like Anchal actually disconnects one of Monique’s calls! Ooh, here comes the drama! My mouth is already watering. Here’s how I rank the girls for next week, with the last girl going home:

Michelle
Amanda
Caridee
Eugena
A.J.
Jaela
Brooke
Megg
Monique
Melrose
Megan
Anchal

Phil Kural is an office manager at a law firm, and graduated from Temple University with a degree in journalism. You can send feedback to him at pkural@gmail.com.

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