Celebrity Duets, September 22: Duet Or Die!

Wayne Brady welcomes us. He tells us the celebrities brought out their A-games for last night’s performances. We get a recap, which you can read about here.

Time for another group number. Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” is presented with many hits and more misses. Cheech is incoherent, Lucy misses cues and seems to have forgotten the words, Hal is back with his guitar and his eyeliner, and growls off-key yet again. At least they look like they are having a good time!

Wayne reintroduces the judges, Marie Osmond, Little Richard, and David Foster. Wayne asks who they think is going to the finale. Marie and David think Alfonso, Jai, and Lucy. Sting7 agrees. Little Richard thinks Alfonso, Jai, and Hal.

Alfonso is still soaring over singing with Chaka Khan. Chaka tries to keep him focused. Alfonso thinks they will be even better tonight. Chaka starts off by missing her cue and has some trouble catching up in “Ain’t Nobody.” Alfonso seems to have the same problem. He gets backs in stride quickly, but something is just a little off between them. Chaka is flat! Yeah, I said it. She’s just out of the pocket, a smidge off-key. Good thing this one ain’t being judged!

Wayne says it was brave for Alfonso to sing David Foster’s song in front of David. Most professionals wouldn’t have the nerve to do that. Alfonso says it was a calculated risk. Either it was going to win it for him, or lose it. Wayne prompts him to toss a teeny bit of the Carlton Dance, and it’s just enough to make the audience squeal in delight. How is Alfonso rewarded? With the news that the results won’t be until the end of the show! Dammit, Wayne!

Cheech has found comfort in jazz, “I don’t have to know exactly the note!” he explains. Al promises to put some funk on the situation. Cheech thinks America has been waiting for this. Al does accomplished scatting, in fact, I’m not sure if he’s actually saying anything! In fact, I’m almost positive Cheech isn’t saying anything. But when Cheech is scatting, he’s not bad! If that is an actual song, I don’t know what it was. But it is entertaining!

Dee Snider had to do some adjusting. He was appalled to hear “We’re Not Gonna Take It” on a piano. But he had fun performing with Hal, and Hal was in metal heaven. Together, they take on another Twisted Sister crowd-pleaser, “I Wanna Rock.” Hal breaks out his guitar yet again, and is a bit more tuneful tonight. A bit. He clearly wants to rock, I just wish he wanted to sing. Sigh. The background singers are enjoying themselves, Ray-Bans and all!

Wayne asks how important it was for Hal to sing rock before the finals. Hal says if they didn’t like him last week, they probably hated him this week! It was more important for him to be himself. Wayne calls the sentiment an After School Special. (Heh!)

Wayne asks the judges how the finalists-to-be should prepare for the finale. Marie says presentation is as important as vocals. Little Richard, dubbing himself Judge Beauty again, says, “the grass may be greener on the other side, but its just as hard to cut.” David says they have to continue to work with the vocal coaches and push themselves harder than they have before, and just get ‘er done. Marie just wants to add – David interrupts, “Your mike’s not on, so don’t even bother” (except it is on, and she is bothering) – that the director rocks. Thanks for sharing. How do you feel about the key grips?

Lucy shares some inside stories about Richard Marx’s songs with Richard Marx. She lies that Richard is her favorite duet partner (whispering an I love you to Kenny Loggins). Together, Lucy and Richard sing “Should Have Known Better.” Lucy shows some sparks of brilliance, but she seems to have trouble holding her keys. Richard has put on the vocal training wheels, because he has no idea where Lucy is going to go with her vocals. You know, she’s starting the grate on me.

Lucy says she’s learned so much from all the Superstars, but Dionne’s advice to make it her own was most special to her.

Jai was worried about keeping up with Patti, but Jai says Patti was very giving. Patti says her voice is feeling weak, and then blows up the room just by warming up. Jeez, that was weak? Jai is a huge fan, he just wants to make her proud. Jai starts off “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in tune and gorgeous. Then comes Patti, and sets off the fireworks. Wow! It’s the performance of the season! We all know Patti can sing this song in a coma and give you chills, arms flapping and all, but Jai is spectacular!

He has his own high notes, ad-libs like a pro, and actually makes Patti take a back seat to him for a stretch! That’s not easy! This is the same Patti who turned Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, and Shania Twain into backup singers on one award show. They just let her go. Jai grabbed her by ankles and hung on! If he was worried about standing beside her vocally, he should put those worries to rest. Forever.

When Patti sings his name and asks him directly why can’t she fly over the rainbow, it’s like something changed. He answers her by singing his face off! Even Patti stops singing and gestures to the audience like, “look at this, will ya?”

This may have won him the competition. Even though this one isn’t judged, it will resonate. Huge.

Wayne says everyone had better be standing right now. I know I am! Just blown away. Jai looks pretty blown away himself! I don’t think he knew he had that in him! Wayne asks Jai how this compares last week when the judges were so rough on him. Jai says he’s always wanted to do something like this and he felt like Patti was helping him get over the rainbow. Wayne asks all the celebrities to come center stage, but he is still glowing after the performance, muttering, “that last note was amazing!”

Last night, I predicted Hal and Cheech would be on the next flight home. Wayne calls Cheech, Hal, and Alfonso to the center. He tells Alfonso he is safe! Cheech… is going home. Hal goes to join Lucy and Jai in the hotseat. Cheech says it was the most fun he’s had in a long time, he feels like he already won. Now, Cheech’s funeral video.

It’s down to Lucy, Hal, and Jai. All three look so nervous. Wayne asks the judges who is going home. Marie says she read in the paper with the new moon eclipse to expect the unexpected. David yells at her again for taking too long. (Why is he sitting next to Marie? Where is Richard? Did Jai’s note make him explode into a pile of sequins or what?) Marie finally says Hal. David says Jai. (That would be a tragedy!!) Sting7 says Hal.

Wayne says it has been a great job, but this part sucks. He tells Hal he’s had a great run… and that run will continue next week! Hal is staying! Hal is stunned!

Wayne says he is shocked that Jai and Lucy are standing there. Last week, Lucy was the top vote-getter, but Wayne adds that two weeks ago, Jai was the top vote-getter! Whoa. The person leaving tonight is… Jai?

Oh my frigging god. Lucy can’t believe it either. She can’t stop hugging him. Jai’s funeral video. I can’t believe this happening.

So, Jai and Cheech are leaving. Lucy, Hal, and Alfonso are in the finals. We get our Carlton Dance, but no Jai. Poor guy, he deserves to be there!

Can anyone stop Alfonso now? Let’s find out when we crown the winner of Celebrity Duets next week!

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for many years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

Be sure to sign up for our e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on the site! And take a look at the rest of the site. You can find out about some other popular shows at our Big Brother: All-Stars page and our Rock Star: Supernova page; and don't miss The Reality TV Hall of Shame. You can even buy reality show stuff at our Reality TV Store!

For more news about reality TV, be sure to check out SirLinksALot: Celebrity Duets!