Celebrity Duets, September 29: Duet to the Finish!

We start with yet another recap of the season. Mostly using the same clips as last night! Streeeeetch.

Wayne Brady welcomes us. He reminds us that tonight, we crown a champion! He introduces the remaining three, Alfonso Ribeiro, Lucy Lawless, and Hal Sparks. They will all be singing solo tonight! Two of music’s biggest stars will perform a duet, and a performance from Boyz II Men is on tap.

But first, all of the eight celebrities of the season are performing a medley of ‘50s hits. It’s a great mess. Chris Jericho and Carly Patterson haven’t improved one iota. In the midst of all this, Little Richard unfurls “Good Golly, Miss Molly.” Back in the day, this was considered dangerous music. Little Richard has always been a bit coy about the meaning of “sure likes to ball.” Did he mean dancing or… uh, balling? I think I know the answer.

Wayne introduces our sitting judges – Marie Osmond, Little Richard, and David Foster. Wayne wants to know the answer to why some of the judges chose who they chose as the winner. Marie says she chose Alfonso because he’s been so consistent. But Lucy “earned her place at the table,” and Marie thinks Hal blew the roof off the place last night, so now, she doesn’t know. Little Richard says he would like to see Alfonso win, but thinks America will vote for rock and roll and Hal. David agrees he would like to see Alfonso win, but thinks he’ll spice things up and predict Lucy.

Hal tells us he learned something from all of his dueting partners, though he made a conscious decision to sing and perform in his own way. He wants to “Hal” and makes no apologies for it. He’s surprised at how close all the celebrities became and acknowledges that he got a chance to duet with folks established performers never will, and he’ll always take that with him.

Then Hal manages to pull the surprise performance of the season with an excellent rendition of Hoobastank’s “Running Away.” He’s on pitch 95% of the time, but he really delivers with his performance. He looks like a pro! He hasn’t been this good all season long! If he had, he may have won this thing! But I don’t think he will.

Wayne asks if Hal is nervous. Hal says he is nervous and excited; if he wins he wins, but if he loses, he joins a great group of people. Some shout-outs and thank yous.

We get a fun montage of Little Richard impersonations from everyone, and a fun bit of Wayne translating Little Richard’s comments. He tries, anyway. Wayne tells us Little Richard has to leave us early tonight. (What could be more important than this??)

Appropriately enough, Gladys Knight and Smokey Robinson treat us to a duet of “Ain’t Nothin’ Like the Real Thing.” Wayne calls them music royalty and they perform like it. While time is beginning to fray the edges of Smokey’s brandy-smooth voice, Gladys sounds exactly like she did 35 years ago. Exactly. And she doesn’t look much older, to boot! They are wonderful.

Lucy tells us she has never had so much fun as she has with this show. She’s got a chance to sing with some of the greatest voice of the last 50 years. She feels she has grown as a singer and will be forever grateful for the lessons she’s learned.

And to demonstrate those lessons learned, Lucy is stupendous in her rendition of Janis Joplin’s “Tell Mama.” She sings in a rasp that suggests she may have borrowed a cup of razors from Bonnie Tyler, but it’s a perfect marriage of song and voice. Joined by Ikette-like dancers, Lucy is vamping like a champ. Excellent performance.

Lucy thanks her faithful fans for supporting her and her new ones for voting for her. Her husband in the audience looks like he can’t wait to tell Mama about it!

Marie introduces Boyz II Men, with Wayne Brady sitting in for the deep-toned Michael McCary. Wayne handles the lead for “I’ll Make Love to You” and graciously sits in the background for “End of the Road,” which Boyz proceed to ignite like a roman candle. There is some texture depth missing without McCary, but it is a nice job nonetheless.

Alfonso says the experience has been amazing. He just wanted the opportunity to sing with the legends, but he’s made friends along the way as well. He has always dreamed of being a recording artist and wonders if this show will give him the opportunity.

Alfonso performs “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me” like a seasoned, grizzled veteran. Alfonso shows he really is the class of the field, delivering passion and a crystal-clear singing voice that is still something of a surprise. He’s come a long way from those Michael Jackson impersonation commercials for Coke!

All eight celebrities are set for a David Foster medley, with David on piano. Kicking it off on Chicago’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry” are Alfonso, Lucy, Hal, and Jai Rodriguez. Hal sings his apologies while draped over the piano, disturbingly like Michelle Pfeiffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys. Suddenly, out comes Marie, changing lyrics to jab at David in good-natured fashion. Then for Cheryl Lynn’s “To Be Real” Chris Jericho, Carly Patterson, Lea Thompson, and Cheech Marin join in the fray. Of them, Lea sounds very good tonight! The others… well, that’s why they aren’t in the finals. Good times.

Wayne shoos the five eliminated celebrities away because it’s time for business. Wayne tells them he had a ball with them on the show. But someone is about to be eliminated:

Lucy – is safe!

Alfonso and Hal are left. One is about to be eliminated. It is…

Hal Sparks. Lucy or Alfonso will be the champion of Celebrity Duets.

Wayne lists the singers both have sung with this season and both lists are impressive. Lucy and Alfonso try to remain composed, but are visibly nervous wrecks. This is a very Idol-esque moment! Wayne says America has voted and reminds them that at the beginning of the season, Jai Rodriguez was the highest vote-getter. Two weeks ago, Lucy was number one. Last week, it was Alfonso.

The winner of Celebrity Duets is…

Alfonso!

Lucy gives him a hug as Alfonso shakes his head. Wayne thanks everyone shy of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as the confetti falls. The other celebrities and singing superstars take the stage to frolic in the confetti. Wayne puts Alfonso back to work as the band starts to crank out “Stay With Me Tonight.” Alfonso whimpers that he’s going to need lyrics! Heh!

Alfonso sings us out of a pretty fun season. The show has presented some great, diverse superstar talent, despite those who bailed at the last minute (Macy Gray, Cyndi Lauper – were you wondering why we saw Gladys Knight twice this season? That is why. She is just class personified!). I hope Celebrity Duets returns, but the ratings declined as the weeks went on, so that return is very much in question. Congrats to Alfonso for taking the show seriously and delivering well enough to give the show some credibility, despite Cheech and Little Richard.

This was fun! Just four months ‘til Idol…

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for many years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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