The Amazing Race 10, Episode 8 Insider: Marty, the Penguins Are Psychotic

Well, it’s been a helluva a week! I celebrated my thirty-somethingth birthday this weekend and slacked off. I became uninspired for my other article, and then just when I realized I was up against the wire for it, my middle child decided he needed more negative attention and sucked the rest of my free time away. In between berating him and setting up his torture for the next few weeks, however, I did manage to watch the Amazing Race video clips, so now here I am, the one that you love, asking for another... er, sorry, Air Supply moment. Carry on.

I like them, I like them! I liked them first! Before I even met them I liked them! As soon as I met them I liked them right away! You hate them compared to how much I like them!: No, not a clip, but a comment! David & Mary are gone, and I am not upset. They did remind me quite a bit of my ex-in-laws, and I am thrilled to see how much they grew and realized they could continue to grow from this experience. However, when push comes to shove, this is a race, and running the race well doesn’t make you “the devil,” Mary.

I did get some good news this morning about them. My 5 a.m. workout partner (side note: NO ONE should have to be up at that ungodly time of day) caught The View this week, a show that I could never watch as I’d want to drown them all like unwanted puppies, and David & Mary were on it. They got a lot of neat stuff from ever philanthropic Rosie O’Donnell, and I think that’s quite sweet. More so than most racers, they need a leg up, as they haven’t the skills nor experience to move as forward as they should. So kudos for that.

Rosie, we should talk. If you want a new favorite, I’m always up for being swooned over!

So anyway, on to the clips!

I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it: And Karlyn feels entitled to wear the crown. This clip is hysterical, and everyone should go watch it. It’s actually called “Lyn & Karlyn Bicker Over Directions” but I’m going with a bold-font theme which may or may not relate ever to the content. Just go with it. Like your college boyfriend said, it’s easier that way. Right. Clip.

Karlyn is waking up in the backseat and bitching out Lyn for following the Chos and not getting the right directions. Lyn tosses the map back to the now-awake Karlyn and tells Karlyn to stay awake and read the map then. Hee. Karlyn gets all nasty, but tells Lyn she has attitude. Lyn doesn’t take it lying down and tells Karlyn that all she does is bitch and complain. Karlyn whines that Lyn takes everyone’s opinion over Karlyn’s. I can actually understand that whine. It’s the “Hey, I’m the partner, the one you’re supposed to trust, and you never listen to me” whine. Sometimes ridiculous. Sometimes has a point. Here? Probably ridiculous.

Lyn actually denies it, and we’ve got a lot of “do” and “do not” going on. Karlyn bitches (and complains!) that Lyn also didn’t tell the Chos that their idea was Karlyn’s first. See, she just wants the credit. It’s about a million dollars. So just race! Lyn tells Karlyn that Karlyn always thinks she is right and never wrong, and that Lyn is not the one always trying to belittle someone. Wow. Guess someone knows their racing partner, eh?

I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak: Mary’s backpack is overweight, and she will have to check it. David, being all like logical and stuff, wants to take stuff out of it. Apparently, this is a VERY BAD THING if you are Mary. I have no idea why, but she gets all attitude on him for this totally logical thought. Cut to them away from the counter going through backpacks and doing things like wearing coats and second pairs of pants, and she still has the attitude, but they finally winnow it down enough, they think. She bitches that the teams in previous years who lost all their stuff were lucky. Uh, right. Sure. As they walk back to the ticket counter, Mary snarks that the woman can kiss her butt. Why? Because you can’t be bothered? Whatever.

What is a bite on the butt amongst friends? : In the car, Tyler & James remark that the Back Pack and the Barbies (said without the total derisive nature that ‘Bama seems to inflict in the word) got a small jump. They took time to change to Madagascar money, apparently, so they are about five minutes behind. Not bad, and probably well worth it. They are not worried though, they tell us, because the Back Pack tends to jump out, then fall back, and Kentucky has a thirty-minute deficit. They do hypothesize that the other two teams would let Kentucky step on the mat first if they all got there first, which is probably accurate.

Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?: While eating cow lips, Rob reminds Kimberly of a story his mom tells. Apparently, when seeing his dad before they were married, she went to his family’s home in Mexico, and of course, it’s very impolite to not like the food you are served. Well, she was served cow tongue soup, which to these teams probably sounds scrumptious, and her theory was to cut the tongue into tiny pieces and swallow them whole and smile while doing it. Heh. Kimberly gets more nauseated just at the reminder of the story and cutely tells him to stop. He doesn’t really, but he moves away from her and tells it more to the camera.

What does Connecticut have to offer us? : Tyler & James and Rob & Kimberly plan ahead for the final four teams, hypothesizing that the other two in the final four will be Dustin & Kandice and Erwin & Godwin. They assume that Kentucky and Alabama will be gone next. I certainly hope they are right.

One of the Zoolanders suggests Yielding the Chos, but the other three remark that Dustin & Kandice are tough competitors, probably more so than the Chos. So, they hatch a Rob Mariano-worthy plan: They will bring the beauty queens in and say they’re all going to Yield the Chos, but if Zoolander or Rob & Kimberly land at the Yield before Dustin & Kandice, the Barbies get Yielded. Ah conniving, how I love thee. This all assumes that they’ll have a Yield this race, obviously, but they assume so. I’d have thrown all assumptions out the window when Bilal and Sa’eed were ousted hours into the race, personally.

Rant: By the way, let me rant on CBS and the Amazing Race staff just a bit again. You totally undercut the oomph of your damned 30-minute penalty idea by putting in Fast Forwards right after non-elimination legs. That’s STUPID. Also, the Intersection? Great idea, poorly executed. Band them together for longer. Have it end only after they get to the mat. Then, make it a double-elimination. Better yet, make it a double non-elimination leg, wherein the last place partnership both start off with 30-minute deficits and now have to be pretty cutthroat with each other and the rest. They totally would need first and second place with a huge lead to avoid elimination. MAKE IT HURT! And this week’s Fast Forward versus the Detour and Roadblock? Lame. This was not a true Fast Forward that gave a good time advantage but had risk, simply because the Detour and Roadblock were too easy and quick. End of rant.