The Amazing Race 10, Episode 9 Insider: Finland, Finland, Finland

Sing with me! “The country where I want to be!” No? How about this one then: “workin’ in a coal mine, goin’ down, down, down.” Oddly enough, I didn’t have that song stuck in my head while David & Mary were on the show, yet when I read Germinal years ago I couldn’t get it out of my head. Now there’s a book I wish I could forget sometimes.

There I go, digressing again. One more quick digression—for those who seem inclined to read too much into my statements on Lyn & Karlyn, let me say for the record I do not hate them. I can’t hate them, as I don’t know them. If I said that word in conjunction with them, I was not thinking and just using it colloquially rather than for the serious word it is, and I should not have done so. I do not like them as far as their TV personae and how they are portraying themselves. They are showing themselves to be hypocrites of the highest order, and I thoroughly dislike people who act like they’ve been acting. But hate? Nope, sorry. Try again!

Pining For The Fjords: Do I see a Norweigan blue? He’s bleeding demised! Heh, anyway, Lyn & Karlyn are in the car in Finland in one of those rare instances where you see that they can actually be relatively pleasant (don’t worry, they ruin it later). They are enjoying being in Finland, as it looks more like home. Karlyn says you can forget for a minute you’re thousands of miles away from home, where you can’t in somewhere so different like Madagascar. She rags a bit on the crazy Vietnamese drivers, and Lyn concurs. They also say plane food is tasting good now, whereas at the beginning of the race, you don’t realize you might not eat for a day, so you shun the airline food. Heh. Lyn states the race is more mental than anything, and even while sleeping on the plane, you’re going over your day and your race leg and what you could do differently or better, so you sleep, but you don’t rest. Your body is in overdrive, she proclaims, and you just hope it doesn’t conk out before the race is over.

Oh, and speaking of parrots (yes, we were), mine gave me a scare at 2 a.m. Monday morning. We awoke to the most horrible “I am in agony” squawking ever. I practically flew down the stairs (in little more than my birthday suit, thank you very much), whipped on the light, and there was my military macaw, wing bent at an odd angle and stuck through the cage. The poor little guy must have startled himself while sleeping, fallen off the perch and spread his wings out in an unfortunate choice of slow-down maneuvers. I had to let him bite the hell out of my finger while I pushed his wing back through the cage and got him straightened out. Then, high on adrenaline, we stayed up the rest of the night making sure he wasn’t going to bleed out and watching Bloodrayne. Oh, and cleaning up the living room which looked like a birdie homicide scene, all bloodsplatters (three walls, the ceiling, the futon, and the television were covered) and feathers. He’s fine now, but gods, what a scare! I guess nailing them to the perch a la Monty Python works best...

Pony Trekking or Camping: Dustin shows again that she needs to stop being so damned PC about everything. Kandice proclaims she’s taking over the money, and Dustin takes issue because that makes her a dictator. Now this is silly. There’s nothing wrong with dividing responsibilities, especially if one of you spends too much, and apparently, Dustin, that’s you. Kandice mentions Dustin buying thirteen dollar cough drops, and Dustin gets really upset that she brought that up again. She whines some about it. Like all of their disagreements, however, it’s very mild, and Kandice even explains that she’s not entirely serious. Ya know what though? I bet she wants to be serious. She probably really thinks she should control the money, because Dustin is spending too much, but Dustin flips out, so she backs off. I think Dustin sees this too, because she whines about that some as well. Kandice smiles and says that she is just talking, because if Dustin wanted to buy something, she’d buy it, and thus, Kandice really couldn’t ever be in control of the money, could she? Heh.

You’re So Near to Russia: Rob is driving while Kimberly explains to him why Erwin & Godwin are upset with them. It seems that at the train station, they told the Cho Bros to go to Platform 5, when in reality, they all needed to be on Platform 2. However, Rob & Kimberly actually believed it was Platform 5 and went there, then were informed it was Platform 2. Kimberly explains, over Rob’s getting annoyed, that she told Erwin all this and that it wasn’t intentional. Rob is all “you’ve got to be kidding me!” and rightly says that if he wanted to mess with someone that way, in the race, there are better ways to do it then on a platform where all you have to do is look at the side of a bus and know you were lied to. Kimberly advises Rob not to let it get to him or to antagonize the brothers over this, as there might be a Yield. If the Chos beat them, they might Yield them. Decent thinking.

Oh, and I read somewhere (the clown guy internet show?) that there was a Yield in Vietnam, but no one used it. The hell? We miss a Roadblock, and we miss a Yield? Even if nothing came of them, it’s nice to know they existed, ya know? Come on, ye Amazing Producers!

So Far From Japan: Down in the mine (goin’ down, down, down), Erwin and Kimberly talk while Lyn looks on disbelievingly. Kimberly explains everything I just explained above, but to Erwin. She completely empathizes with him, and she understands why they would think that way. She reiterates why they thought it was Platform 5. Remember how they missed a train? They missed it on Platform 5. They assumed the next train was the same platform, and went there, and it was not right. Then, they looked for Erwin & Godwin as they ran to Platform 2, but didn’t see them. He doesn’t seem to quite believe her, but trust me, she looks very sincere, and it’s quite uncharacteristic of them to do something that devious. Or so I think.

Lyn apparently thinks otherwise. We cut to just her and the camera. Lyn states in no uncertain terms that she does not believe Kimberly, because Rob & Kimberly have been playing the race like that all along. Huh? That must be truly some amazing editing then, because I haven’t seen that level of deviousness from anyone! She is all self-righteous as she talks about how they almost hit their car or something to get ahead of them just before all this, and then she mocks Kimberly by saying all sarcastically, “you almost hit a car of people to get ahead, but ‘you don’t play like that’?” and she scoffs. Seriously. She’s sure Erwin doesn’t buy it either.

Your Mountains So Lofty: On the train, Kandice jokes with Tyler about the many beauty products she borrows from him. He pulls out a baggie with a lot of travel-sized stuff and states these are all his “accoutrements” and he even pronounces it with a proper French pronunciation. Color me impressed. He jokes that he hopes the girls brought razors at least.