Dancing with the Stars 4, March 26: Mambo Italiano

They’re performing the mambo to “La Bamba.” I’m not even sure how to describe this performance. Paulina and Alec seem to dance most of the time in one corner of dance floor. Paulina also seems a bit stiff. The routine isn’t bad, but it isn’t wonderful either. What do the judges think?

Bruno says that Paulina got to Puerto Rico (not Havana) and the dance was quite good. Carrie Ann tells Paulina to use her extensions (arms, legs, not hair). Len calls the dance stiff and not raunchy enough. He then yells at the crowd when they boo. Bruno tells everyone to listen when they are giving their critiques.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give the dance a 7. Paulina and Alec have 21 points tonight for an overall score of 40.

Karina Smirnoff and Billy Ray Cyrus are up next. Billy Ray says that he sucks. He also asks us to pray for him. I never knew he was a funny guy. Seriously, he’s cracking me up! His children come by to watch him practice. He promises Karina that he will hold his frame.

They are dancing the quickstep to “Ring of Fire.” Billy Ray’s footwork is a bit off, but he does a nice job. After he settles down, he does some intricate moves. Like Clyde, he appears to be concentrating; however, he looks so much better than he did last week.

Len says that the dance was fine. Bruno tells Billy Ray that he’s heading in the right direction. Carrie Ann calls him the most improved dancer since last week.

Once again, each judge gives the dance a 7 for a total of 21 points and 34 points overall. Billy Ray says that he and Karina set the bar low so that they could only go up from there.

Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts are ready to perform now. Jonathan tells Heather that she’s going to have to shake her butt for tonight’s dance. She clowns around with one of her prosthetic legs. She can do some fun things with those. She explains that she doesn’t want to be the first person eliminated from the competition.

They’re doing the mambo to “Mambo Italiano.” The dance is playful and fun to watch. Heather does some sexy moves. I think this is her dance! Jonathan tosses her around a bit as well. Heather seems to enjoy herself.

Carrie Ann compliments Heather on her back walkover. It was great! Len says that Heather was terrific. Bruno refers to Heather as being red hot.

All three of the judges give Heather and Jonathan an 8 for a total of 24 points. Heather and Jonathan’s total score is 42 out of 60.

Performing next are Edyta Sliwinska and John Ratzenberger. John is thrilled to hop on the dance floor. Edyta explains that the quickstep is physically demanding and John may have problems; however, because he does karate, Edyta put in a kick in the routine for him.

They are performing to “The Lady is a Tramp.” Edyta and John certainly cover the entire floor. He appears to keep up with her and even does his kick. The cameraman shows Len and he is smiling from ear to ear during the dance. I think he’s going to give John decent marks.

Bruno tells John that he sold the dance. Carrie Ann states that the beginning was slow, but it picked up from there. Len says that the performance was well done.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… Each of the judges gives Edyta and John a 7 for a score of 21. After two nights, Edyta and John have 38 out of 60 points.

Dancing next are Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. My secret boyfriend Maksim says that the mambo is about the relationship between the dancers. Laila takes Maksim to the gym to work out. He’s panting and sweaty. (Thank you, Laila!) She says that she’s going to be spicy tonight.

They’re performing to… I don’t know the name of the song! Help me, please. Laila proves that she can move her hips like nobody’s business. There is a lot of play between Laila and Maksim; they look great together. The routine is energetic and hot.

Len mentions the rhythm and moves, and calls their dance the best mambo of the night. Bruno says that Laila is simply irresistible. Carrie Ann tells Laila that the dance was hot. She also says that she worked Maksim. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give the couple a 9; they now have 27 points and a grand total of 50 out of 60. Samantha talks about Maksim and his workouts, but all I can do is stare at his arms. Even Yoko is impressed.

Our last performers tonight are Kym Johnson and Joey Fatone. They have matching sweatpants for practice. Joey obviously has fun with Kym. She tells him to stop being silly, though. She also reminds him to keep his butt in while he dances.

They’re dancing the quickstep to “Tell Her About It.” The dance is playful, and Kym and Joey are in sync (tee hee). The routine is very lively and fun. They do some silly moves, but otherwise, the routine is fantastic.

Carrie Ann tells Joey that she expects him to do well and he didn’t disappoint her. Len compliments Joey on his holds. Bruno tells Joey not to dance like George Michael. Don’t worry; except for a few moves, Bruno was please by the performance.

Each judge gives the performance an 8; Kym and Joey have 24 points and a combined total of 48 points out of 60.

After a recap of the dances, we’re reminded of the current standings:

Tune in tomorrow to find out which star will be the first to go. My money is on Shandi or Leeza… not because they are poor dancers, but because they may not have the fan base that some of the other celebrities have. Don’t despair, though; I’ve been wrong before.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at jilljones@verizon.net.

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