The Apprentice: Los Angeles, Episode 13 MVP and LVP – A Breath of Bad Air

Wow... that was a dumb final task. None of it had the epic, organizational scope that most final tasks do, the potential for candidates to either break down or break heads. Compared to running an expo, shooting a commercial seems... easy. The teams of two also were a bad idea. We’ve seen these candidates work together all season – shouldn’t there one last task where they have to be big kahuna on a big task, where they have to put all or nothing on the line to shine?

My only explanation of the final task’s pffft (pffft is the sound a balloon makes deflating, my personal slang for great expectations falling into pathetic mush) is that one of the events fell through and Mark Burnett had to come up with something else on short notice. Either that or they realized nobody was going to be watching anyway, so they decided that actually doing something meaningful would be more trouble than it was worth. At least my prediction didn’t come true – yet. Stefani is still in the running, and with two good reviews in a row, she might have a shot.

The only thing I liked about this episode is that we got to see all the old apprentices again – minus Bill. So many attractive people, so little screen time. I wonder if they like their jobs, and if they feel the process was worth it? Probably, since they won. I like just about anything I’m good at. I wonder what they spend their time doing in the Trump organization? Making movies for air fresheners? I think not.

Team Mouth & Dreamer

Uh oh. The showmance is back in town. I’d feel sorry for Frank having to deal with Nicole and Tim if he didn’t pick Surya. Uh, there’s not one person on this whole season he’d rather work with? The only worse picks I could think of would be Heidi or Michelle. Or Omarosa, from season one. For their choices, I think Nicole and Frank are, well, bonkers. The short time period they had to decide things in shouldn’t have been that hurtful. If I were nearing the final two, I would certainly begin thinking about who I’d want for teammates on my final task.

Nicole again made the less-than-bright choice of putting her emotions before her common sense. Tim is not the distraction she needed, and it’s certainly going to distract Mr. Trump when it comes to Boardroom time. He really is way too interested in anything that even smells like showmance. Mmmm, the man beneath the hair thinks to himself, it smells like ratings.

Though it was a potentially fatal choice, it seemed to turn out okay. Nicole did not spend the entire time either smooching or crying, just half the time... a step up for her this season. For example, she did not go off on Frank about how retarded he was, like last week. After the blowout, the flawed teamwork displayed between the two of them was – well, nothing short of a miracle.

I don’t know how in her right mind she thinks that Trump would give her the Apprenticeship when she spends a crucial part of the final task smooching with Tim. Sean didn’t sweep Tammy off her feet until after business hours. Common sense has never been Nicole’s bright point, however.

Frank likewise showed odd judgment with his choice of Surya. The only explanation I can think of is that he thought it was going to be a huge task, and that Surya’s organizational skills would come in handy. It paid off, as nemesis Surya supported Frank before Trump.

Anyway, their commercial, I thought, was a bad idea in the first place. Unless you’re on Scrubs, where you have the full 22 minutes to create a sweeping story, humor and sickness don’t go together very well. The executives didn’t like them as much as they liked Stefani and James, which is always a bad sign. Frank, as we know, was doomed from episode one, but he did some good work in terms of directing the film. Too bad he couldn’t even remember the product name. Trump may have upgraded his initial perception, but I have to admit that, if I had to pick an emissary to represent my hypothetical company, Frank could have made the best video in the world but he still wouldn’t be my mouthpiece. There’s no way Trump would pick Frank’s uncouth mouth, no matter how hard the guy tries.

Nicole pretty much got veto power with Tim backing her, which is perhaps why Frank sat back and let her do all the editing and supported the idea, even though he disagreed with it. Nicole also got some brownie points with the advertisers for her brown nosing and product placement. On the final task, she should not have left the presentation up to Frank. I’ve come to the conclusion that either Nicole is a complete nincompoop or she doesn’t really want the job. Maybe both. Any rational person would fight harder than she is to stand out. Either the editing is slanted, Nicole isn’t right in the head, or she’s thrown in the towel without bothering with the formal declaration of throwing in the towel.

For the record, if I were choosing teammates fired from this season, I’d probably choose Aaron and Muna. They stuck out to me as two of the more capable candidates, and they were both good workhorses. In a final task like the usual galas, Muna’s detail-oriented nature would have been a blessing, and Aaron was a gifted schmoozer.

Team Realist & Webhead

James is a real jack of all trades. This season, we’ve seen his first – and probably last – televised rap, and now we saw his first – and probably last – chance at directing. Well, the executives liked it, but I think he would have driven me nuts with the micromanaging and the spending time on small details instead of nailing the critical shots first.