The Real World: Denver – The S@#T They Should Have Shown

The show begins with a clip of Jenn dancing on the street and falling into a car. Technically, we already saw this, but who cares, right? Next, she talks on the phone and then swears at it when her call gets disconnected. What actually happens is the receiver breaks loose from the cord. She continues to swear and then spits on the floor.

Next, Colie bites her toenails. What a lady. Brooke licks Davis’ neck and face. I hope this show is only on for 30 minutes.

Jenn says that sex makes this season different from the other seasons. She also says that she was impressed by Tyrie’s, um, manhood.

Everyone agrees that Colie is more comfortable than most people when it comes to being naked. She proves this by doing many things, including dancing in the kitchen, while being in her birthday suit.

Tyrie and Brooke talk about the attraction they felt for one another. Davis tells us about a time that he caught Tyrie and Brooke kissing. During his story, he casually mentions that he kept a bottle of whiskey hidden behind his bed in the house. Hmmmmm.

Everyone talks about the orgy they decided to have. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your perspective, it never happened. The guys don’t want to have sex with one another.

Davis grabs Alex’s package one night. Alex politely smiles throughout the situation. He explains that Davis doesn’t disgust him, so he didn’t feel the need to act like it was a big deal. Also, one evening, Davis and Alex kissed, but the cameraman never caught it.

Davis explains that he and Brooke have discussed getting married. Of course, he can have a boyfriend and she can sleep around.

Jenn took pictures of Davis and Brooke is various situations and positions. I don’t know which is more disturbing: the things Davis and Brooke did, or the fact that Jenn voluntarily witnessed them.

Brooke sings a song about her vagina for Davis. She also jumps in the hot tub with Davis and PJ. They were hoping for a threesome, but like the orgy, it never materialized. She did watch them give each other (^$#@.

Stephen teaches Alex about women. At a strip club, two girls hit on Alex. He lies and says that he is engaged. Then they all go to the house and he tells them that he is gay. Davis and PJ help out with that one. Alex asks the girls if they want to have a five-way; he assumes that they will say no, but they don’t. Hasn’t Alex ever watched Seinfeld?

Colie tells us that making out with a gay man is great and that Davis is a great kisser.

Everyone talks about using the guest room or their own beds when company came over. It’s a boring discussing, so let’s move on.

Colie says that one night, Alex wore her bikini bottoms. He also states that he wore high heels as well. Stephen is mad because he was ripped on for wearing blue underwear. As he put it, at least they were man panties.

Jenn and Colie rip on Alex and Stephen’s lack of fashion sense. They also talk about how the two of them dressed alike.

Colie raps… really badly. She also says, “Word up.” Gag.

Jenn says that the roommates weren’t really hated by anyone in Denver; however, a lot of clips of people being rude to them are shown. Tyrie gets into an altercation with someone, but the guy really only wants to be on camera.

The house is a complete mess. Alex eats out of the garbage can. Tyrie wraps meat in a towel and lets it sit in the fridge for days.

The roommates go to a gay bar with Davis. Everyone gets drunk. In fact, people are so drunk that they vomit. Nothing says “good time” like puke.

Jenn likes to cook after she drinks. Most of what she makes is terrible though. Brooke gets upset over other people eating her food. As a result, she puts pizza under her bed.

Colie poops and pees in an envelope while riding in the roommates’ vehicle. She throws some of her mess out of the window.

Brooke finds underwear with a piece of poop in them. They turn out to be Tyrie’s, so he throws everything in the washer and runs it.

Brooke asks to remove her microphone when going to the bathroom. I can’t say that I blame her. She also won’t let Tyrie use the bathroom after her.

Davis pees in a corner of the house. He says that he doesn’t remember doing it.

Alex likes to Dutch oven people. His nickname is “Anthrax Ass Alex.”

Stephen finds a dog on the street in Thailand and takes care of it; he thinks it has been abandoned. He later learns that someone already owned the dog.

Brooke passes out on a bathroom floor in Thailand. She is taken to the hospital and proceeds to vomit everywhere. Alex takes pictures.

The roommates go to a ping-pong show during their visit to Thailand. Enough said.

Brooke thinks that Chris from Outward Bound is a paid actor. She also explains that while at work, the roommates were allowed to have one personal item. She selects mascara along with several other items that she wasn’t supposed to have. I guess she can’t live without her makeup.

The camera crew pulls pranks on the cast. Brooke crushes on several of them while Jenn flirts. They are eventually told to leave the cameramen alone.

Everyone says that they would do the show again… except for Alex. He says he hated the whole thing. Ha!

Whew. I left out the nose picking, snot blowing, and other acts of disgustingness. That is my special gift to you.

As Susie would say, “I’m outta here.” Thanks for joining me for this oh-so-very-special episode of The Real World: Denver. Now get outside and play!

Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at jilljones@verizon.net.

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