American Inventor 2, Episode 5: Searching the South

Welcome back, American Inventor fans, to the ingenious and the crazy! And I do mean crazy. As you might have guessed, last week was a repeat due to the holiday. Glad to be back this week!

Last episode, we found a winner in Chicago, Elaine Cato, and a winner in New York (thank goodness!), Craig and David. Each received a check for $50,000 to further the development of their inventions. They also received a shot at the million dollar prize and the title of American Inventor.

Craig, David, and The Claw from New York, and Elaine Cato and her Backless Brassiere from Chicago have now joined Greg Chavez from San Francisco and his Guardian Angel, and Rick DeRennaux from L.A. and his H.T. Custom Built Racers to move on one step closer to their dream possibly becoming a reality.

Tonight, we are in Houston and Miami! We start the show off in Houston. Nick tells us that inventors have traveled thousands of miles to find out if they have that one break-through product that will change the world. However, in order to make their dreams a reality, they must first face our judges. George Foreman is a local legend in his home town of Houston, Spanx™ inventor Sara Blakely, entrepreneur Pat Croce, and venture capitalist Peter Jones.

First up is Charles Amyx, who is a 61-year-old school bus driver. His invention is the Cooler Top. It is hat/cap combination that is designed to protect you from the sun. It has different hats for variety. OK, we already have hats that do this, and they look a lot less silly than these do. It looks like a two tiered shelf on his head. Seriously. He gets three immediate "no"s. Ha, apparently they didn't let George vote. Wow, for someone who is such a hard target to hit, he certainly is an easy mark! Pat is the one to say "Next" this time, but I still said it before he did!

Sixty-five-year-old personal chef Evan Balasuriya is next. His invention is called the Double Chin Buster. It's a hand-held tool with a curved thingee that you rub up and down on your chin and your neck. He looks better at 50 than he did when he was younger, chin wise. It was looking OK for him until Pat realized that he was stretching and contracting the muscles in his neck as he demonstrated it, meaning it wasn't the product making him look so young, it was the constant muscle movement that was doing that for him. Sorry, Evan, you're busted! He gets four "no"s very shortly thereafter.

So far, Houston has no finalists. But inventors are waiting in a very long line for their turn, so there is hope. Just... don't hold your breath.

Next up, Jeff Miller is a 57-year-old writer who is sick of the squirrels getting inside the hanging bird-feeder he has. He decided that the squirrels were acrobats and just needed a place to perform. So he invented and built his invention, the Squirrel Circus. Oh, boy, I can see what's coming already.

Jeff tells the judges that the product will keep the squirrels from going in the bird-feeder by having acrobatics to do in the Squirrel Circus. Hey, Jeff, great idea, so the squirrels come and play on the Circus product, then they tell all their squirrel friends, then they all come to play, then they start having baby squirrels, and next thing you know, you really do have a freaking squirrel circus going on in your back yard. Get a dog, and call it a day. Thank you for calling!

Pat is a “no,” George is a “no,” and Sara is a “no,” while our darling Peter has this witty remark... "Nuts. No." Tee hee.

OK, we are now in Tampa.

Up first is 37-year-old Marsia Tucci, who is a Dean of students. Marsia has had breast augmentation and now has major trouble sleeping, because now they are too heavy and she can't lay on her stomach. Breast augmentation, my foot, call it what it is, Marsia, you had a boob job, OK? Her invention is a soft foam mattress for big-breasted (or any sized, really) women to sleep more comfortably on their stomachs. Sara and George vote “yes.” Pat and Peter vote “no.” Damn! The boob mattress sounded really comfy to me! I'm going to stray from Peter for just a moment to pull a George and say that I want one of those for my house.

Next up is Rodney Skinner, a 41-year-old Air Force plumber. His invention is called the Quickie Mouth Cleaner. It's basically a small brush that you suction to your tongue, and then brush your teeth using the brush with your tongue. Sara asks him what would happen if it accidentally got swallowed. Rodney replies that you'd be OK, and that it would pass! Sorry, Rodney, it's a unanimous "no." Rodney says he is shocked. Then he says it again. After that, he finally leaves the room. Then he says it again outside of the room. Then again in a one-on-one camera shoot after that. I'm not shocked. No one is, except Rodney. Peter quips, "There's nothing you can say to that, apart from "next." He is 100% right. NEXT!

Next up is Ben Hausbach, a 26-year-old waiter, and his invention is called the Safe Tan. It's a pill to make you any color you wish to be. He says it's done by using beta-carotene, which is what they say makes you turn orange if you eat too many carrots. He tells us that a botanist can now change the color of carrots, that they can make them brown, orange, green, etc. He would put the botanist's whatever colored beta-carotene into a pill that you can just take. Um. Green? It's another unanimous "no". Ben comes out of the room and makes it very clear that he does not like Peter by saying that Peter thinks he's a lot smarter than he really is, and that we may call him the Donald Trump of England, but he calls him a jackass. OK, Ben, thanks for the bitter input, buh-bye now. Leave my Peter alone. Peter with "NEXT!" again.

Bernie Eubanks is next. He's 80 years old, charming, funny, and spunky! We love him already! I just hope he's not a wackjob. Bernie's invention is the Easy Mower, which he demonstrates that you drive the mower like a car. It’s very easy to use, not like a regular mower at all. He makes the judges laugh, and he charmingly hits on Sara. Bernie is very entertaining! Peter is the only "no."

We have our first Tampa finalist!