Big Brother 8, July 24: Mad as a Hatter

Previously on There are Lots of Dick-Related Puns I Could Use, But This is a PG Site, Joe was evicted, despite Kail’s utterly helpful single vote against him. Dick went from the chopping block to the HOH bedroom. Kail realized that the Mrs. Robinson alliance was no more, so she told Dick all about it. He didn’t care. Nick and Daniele are still sitting in a tree, but there’s not so much K-I-S-S-I-N-G because Daniele still loves her boyfriend. Dick interrogated Nick, who swore he’s not playing Daniele. Unsurprisingly, Dick nominated Kail and Jen. Tonight we get the veto competition and the fulfillment of Eric’s latest task.

We rejoin our regularly scheduled nomination ceremony already in progress. Diary room Dick says he nominated Jen and Kail because they were campaigning to get him out of the house. Kail made her own bed and now she has to lie in it. Jen is on the block as punishment. Diary room Kail says she doesn’t want to leave, so she’ll dust herself off and start playing a different game. She promises we’ll see a new Kail. How about one with a personality? Because this one isn’t doing much for me.

Jen and Dick meet up and she just says, “Obviously.” In the diary room she says she’ll always be happy even if people hate her. Dick tells her that Kail is his true target. Zach realizes that he dodged a bullet. He knows Kail can’t play the game discreetly, and now he’ll be playing Dick’s game because Dick did him a favor.

Kail starts right in on looking for votes, asking Dustin to vote to keep her in the house. In the backyard, Jen tells Dick that she wasn’t part of the Mrs. Robinson alliance. Dick says that she was campaigning against him. He’s not calling anyone out; it is what it is. Diary room Kail says that Dick thinks he has everything all wrapped up, but she might be able to change things. Jen notes that she could easily go home because everyone hates her. Dick says it’s not a personal game. Kail made a mistake.

That night, the houseguests sit around the nomination table and start talking about streaking. Zach is challenged to strip and since he doesn’t back down from things, he has to do it. He starts stripping and everyone heads out to the backyard for the festivities. Zach wears magenta underwear, by the way. The girls are really excited to see little Zach, for some reason. He strips naked and starts running around the backyard, then jumps in the pool. Someone shrieks to get the towel and everyone runs inside, leaving Zach locked in the backyard without anything to cover him. Diary room Zach says that’s what he gets for deciding to take his nakedness into his own hands. That’s what she said. He grabs another towel and heads inside.

Jen goes to the round bedroom, where Kail is trying to sleep. Kail says she’s sure she’s Dick’s target. In night vision, Jen’s hair looks blond. Weird. Kail thinks everyone will keep the nominations the same. Jen notes that they didn’t stick with her nominations. That’s because Daniele won veto, Jenius. Kail asks Jen if she’s decided who she’ll choose to compete for the veto if she draws houseguest’s choice. Jen hasn’t thought about it yet. Kail warns her not to play anyone who’s in jeopardy - that would be Zach, Mike, and Nick. She’s sure they’ll win.

Mike comes in and, after hearing what Kail and Jen are talking about, says if he can, he’ll play and save one of them. Kail has been loyal and he wants to repay that. Diary room Mike says he was raised loyal and tries to be loyal to others. Kail sums up that she, Jen, and Mike (if he’s playing) will try to win. Mike tells Kail that her advantage is that she’s motivated to win. “No matter what, I have to win,” Kail confirms.

Later that night, Dick comes to the bedroom and asks Kail if she’s okay. She says she’s passionate, loyal, forgiving, and nonjudgmental, but she tries too hard. Dick says she’s been making stupid moves from the beginning and is not a very good player. Kail tells Dick her life is in his hands now. Dick corrects that her life is in her own hands. Also, you know, it’s a game. Kail says no one is on her side. Dick points out that she and Mike could wind up teaming up again. Kail says she doesn’t know where she stands with him.

Kail brings up Jen, but Dick says she’s not a threat and no one else sees her that way either. Kail has a chance of staying. Kail thinks the houseguests will honor Dick’s picks. If the house is allowed to decide, they’ll do what Dick wants. Dick thinks everyone wants Jen gone. Kail asks him not to say anything, but Jen is after Daniele. She finds it strange that Dick would want Jen to stay over her, even though Jen will go after Daniele. Kail says she would never do that. Dick thinks that if it came down to choosing between Daniele and Jen, Daniele would win. He reminds Kail that she went after him and lied to him; she can’t be trusted. She made her bed and has to lie in it. He’s sure Kail won’t be able to stay in the house if she doesn’t win veto.

Eric is in the diary room, so that can only mean it’s time for his next assignment. He has to “covertly vandalize the personal property” of America’s chosen houseguest. That would be Jen, whom America seems to really dislike. Eric is happy that America hates Jen as much as everyone in the house.

Now the fun begins. Eric is in the kitchen and sees Jen head out of her bedroom, so he ducks in with a jar of mustard and squirts it on her pillowcase. He then takes the bottle back to the storeroom. Jen comes into the bedroom, where Mike is folding something, and sees the mustard. Mike has no idea who’s responsible and doesn’t seem to have noticed anything until now. Jen wonders who’s in second grade. Oh, thanks, Eric, for getting mustard on one of her shirts! Ha! Kail pops in and also doesn’t know anything.

Jen starts coming up with suspects – Dick and Daniele are her first two. Jameka says she didn’t even see anyone go into the bedroom. Eric says that someone probably thought it was funny. Kail asks Mike if he did anything; he didn’t. Dick wonders how Jen didn’t get mustard on her when she slept. Obviously, it just happened. Eric notes that she’s only been awake for about 20 minutes. He adds that if anyone puts mustard on his stuff, he’ll beat them up. Dustin realizes the mustard must have come from the storeroom because the bottle in the fridge is still sealed. Eric says they should hold an investigation. Mission accomplished.

Time for the veto competition. Dick, Jen, and Kail get to draw the names of the other three players. Diary room Kail says she really wants Mike to play because he’ll take her off the block. No dice – Dick draws Zach, Jen draws Jessica, and Kail draws Nick. She knows she’s sunk. Dick picks Eric to host the competition.